"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
my bestfriend
- Thread starter HeMan
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
You'll probably lose the friendship anyway because she'll see it as a rejection of her desire for something more. Either lose her for good or fvck her. Hmmmm I wonder what I'd decide on?
i guess your right in the fact that im worried about being in a situation where if i sleep with her i will end up wanting more and its quite possible as she is increadibly sexy! i know there is no chance of us being a couple though. she is waaaaaaaaaaaay to much high maintenance for me. if feelings do develop though then our friendship will be ruined or at least affected which is the last thing i want.
in answer to some of your questions, we have always been very affectionate with each other and she is probably now more than always. everytime we hang out we are always more into each other than any other couples around us. before though it was just comfortable with both of us knowing it meant nothing
However i know she gets off on guys attention and wants every guy to want to fu#k her. this is why im so confused about her intentions. it still does not make sense after so long she has suddenly become so attracted to me.
anyway catching up with her on the weekend so only time will tell. if she keeps saying she wants to bl^w me i might have to give in
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
KontrollerX
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 11, 2005
- Messages
- 4,476
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1. Appearance means everything. Check!
"it was just comfortable with both of us knowing it meant nothing"
2. Little secrets between you both that only you both can understand. Check!
"i know there is no chance of us being a couple"
3. Knowing instinctively there is no loyalty in her character but not being able to turn away from the drama. Check!
"However i know she gets off on guys attention and wants every guy to want to fu#k her."
4. Most importantly she craves attention like there's no tomorrow, like attention were going out of style soon and she had to get in as much as possible before that happened. Check!
Yep...
Go do a forum search for borderline or histrionic.
She's one of those which means she's incapable of any interaction more complicated than being fvcked anyway.
The reason she's all over you now is because you're the one guy who hasn't immediately given in to her sexual temptations and as a result you are the ultimate trophy fvck for her and the guy she is probably painting her false love fantasy man image onto.
So fvck her already but only after she begins throwing herself at you again.
Its best to wait until she starts throwing herself at you again because histrionics want to be the innocent victims of your desire so that they can maintain their delusion based childlike innocence.
Why have you two been such great friends you may wonder?
You likely have Avoidant Personality Disorder or at least strong traits of the condition and its these types of men or women HPD's most often seek out as best friends for life (BFF hehehe) since the avoidance aspect of APD is kind of a counter point personality to the HPD seeking what the APD fears most ie attention.
The disorders balance eachother out in a way.
Oh and Rollo and Shaunuk are correct.
Besides that I can tell you are enjoying the mental drama of the question "should I fvck her or should I not?"
Thinking about this is delicious for you and it is no surprise as thats what HPD's get their victims addicted to that of course being their own dramatic lifestyle and cravings.
Plus it doesn't help that many of the men they target find life to be boring so when the HPD comes along and injects drama of some kind into that man's life he suddenly feels alive for the very first time.
Kind of like how you are probably feeling at this moment.
"if feelings do develop though then our friendship will be ruined or at least affected which is the last thing i want."
If you snub the HPD's advances they usually forgive you and go back to being your friend after a while but you have to be gentle about things and let them know you value your friendship with them too much to ruin it. The HPD will accept that kind of explanation but probably desire you even more as you resisted her.
Well that or to avoid facing the pain of a true rejection where they believe they have no possibility of getting what they want ever from you they may paint you black which means you will literally become dead to them in their mind and there is no way for you to reverse this.
Also the friendship doesn't have to be affected on your part, you simply have to work to retrain your brain and not just settle for the idea that you are stuck with the way you think about things and scenarios now.