My approaches Story

[Lock]

Let's see. In September, after y broke with a girl y was seeing, (a couple of actual dates) yeah AFC story, so I decided to start to do some cold approeaches it was very difficult because I'm very shy. I was thinking doing it for a long time but this gave me the motivation. I said: "First I must complete 5 approaches."

first approach. In the subway. She was with a friend. So I go (after 5 min)
"Whats your name?
She said very unconfortable "Cindy"
ME "so where are you going? to a concert?" (for her clothes)
She "yeah sure"
ME: "Give me your e-mail"
She "No"
me "So give me your cell number"
She "no"
ME "Yeah, nice to meet you"
(After i did thsi in a very funny state, because it was my first.)

Second approach. a week later. In the subway again. a girl about 17-18 very very beautiful.
Can I ask you a quick question? (yeah, David D material)
She (with a smile) "Yeah?"
(Some guy beside mee approaches to hear what i was saying)
ME "Are you songle?"
She "Ummm....No" (then turns her back)
ME (persisted) "Hey but i have a friend... (you know the story)
She "No, thank you very much but Im not interested"

Third approeach, Subway again (I dont know why i like to do ir here, i dont go to clubs and i wanted static targets i think)
ME: "Hey what's your name"
She "No"
ME: "Will you tell me your name?"
She: Why?
ME: "Because I want to meet you"
She. (Very serious face) "No"
ME: "Well as you wish. Nice to meet you"

Fourth approach: Subway again.
ME: "Are you single?"
She "(Petrified) says nothing
ME: "Whats your name?"
She: Ummmm (her eyes darting around)
ME: "Goodbye"

5th approeach: (yeah, subway)
ME: I sit right beside her, and I go: "Can I ask you a quick question?
She: "Yeah, sure"
ME: "Are you single?"
She: Wha...what?
ME: "Are you single"
She: (Turns red and starts giving her air with her hand)
ME: "Look, I have a friend i think will find you pretty and i think you should meet him"
She: (smiling) No, I'm not interested.
ME: OK.

Thats my first 5 approaches
More later.

 

[Logen]

that's cool man. i suck at the subway walk ups. i always get way nervous.

i think you're being a little too direct with them. you have to be really smooth. try to make your objective a little different. instead of wanting their number, have your priority be to simply make them smile. the first thing you say should make them smile at you. not the kind of smile that says "oh yea i know what you're doing" but the kind of authentic smile that shows you she's amused or interested.

good luck. KEEP AT IT. DO NOT GIVE UP.

 

[IS|Reinhart]

By asking her if she is a single u showing her that u are insecure! Stop that and remember if 1 sh1t is not working try another one. I liked 4th aproach.

But good sh1t that u are trying to do something

 

[American_Psycho]

Do you really think girls are going to be receptive to strangers approaching them in a subway?? You might as well go do approaches in a cemetary, or a dark alley.

 

[Logen]

Originally posted by American_Psycho
Do you really think girls are going to be receptive to strangers approaching them in a subway??

dude it's totally possible.

 

[TACH]

Totally possible, maybe. But I don't think you're going to have the success you want by just going up to them and asking if they're single, does that work anywhere anymore? Not likely. You've got the right mentality, but I think you're saying the wrong things, not that it matters too much what you say but how you say it, still what you're saying may throw these girls into a defensive mode.. You may want to try opening with some content that isn't so heavy.

Instead of just walking up to them and saying, 'are you single?' introduce yourself first. Also, make sure you're getting eye contact before you do this. And take your approach to other places, the subway may not be the best place to single a girl out.

 

[thefonz]

I agree that the subway is probably not the best place to start off doing approaches.....Those first 5 sounded BRUTAL!!!

Go someplace alittle more settled and inviting like a retail store or a cafe. The subway doesn't exactly have the best reputation for dealing with strangers, some of those girls probably had some sort of stigma related with the subway to begin with.

But if you are going to sarge in a subway try to get them to open up with situational statements or something, don't just walk up and say, "What's your name?". Just start talking to them as if you've known them your whole life.

 

[American_Psycho]

Originally posted by Logen
dude it's totally possible.

Walking around with your **** hanging out and asking girls for oral sex is also "totally possible" but that doesn't mean it's a good strategy.

Think about this logically: You're a top-quality girl, HB9 or above, who gets hit on constantly, and you're supposed to be turned on by some random dude in the freakin SUBWAY asking you if you're single? How does this create attraction exactly? Can you please explain that to me?

You can keep trying this ridiculous "Are you single?" crap if you want. It will help you get over your fear of approaching, because you're going to get brutal rejections about 95% of the time. Now if you actually want to ::gasp:: get some action or at least a date, you're going to have to rethink your methods.

 

[Tyron]

like this you sure will get over the anxiety of approach if that's your objective. However, if you're really trying to go somewhere with these conversation you aren't doing a good job.

 

[I_Only_Live_Once]

I think a problem by the reactions that you're getting, is that you're not charming. You are probably coming across as robotic . And being too forward and robotic at the same time is a bad combination.

 

[LuisGarcia10]

Sound brutal.

Seriously, don't let them get you down, just laugh at them.

Funniest one I ever had was I went and sat down to a girl in a nightlcub who was sat by her self:

Me: Hi, why are you sat down by yourself?
Her: I dunno, just am
Me: You should be out dancing, drinking having fun
Her: I don't want to be having fun
Me: Well what was the point in paying to get in then?
Her: Look I don't want to have fun, I'm happy as I am alright
Me: Seriously, what's the matter? You should be having some fun with your freinds
Her: Just **** off and leave me alone!!!

I thought it was funny as ****, I think it was the same night I pulled a really, really hot girl on the dance floor so it just goes to show it's the girl with the problem and not you most of the time.

I'll be out on Saturday and will definately have a couple of rejections, maybe some as harsh as that but I'll also get a few phone numbers and dances etc etc.

Must say you showed a lot of character to keep approaching after such brutal rejections.

If you're approaching on the subway then sit next to the girl and start talking to her about something which seems relevant to the situation. Like something about how you hate packed subways for example. Let the conversation flow from there and spend 5-10 minutes before you mention anything about her being single, infact just don't mention it at all. Just ask her out for a drink or whatever, she knows what that leads to and she'll tell you if she has a boyfreind or not.

 

[Captain Popular]

so, you a 6'' or a foot long kinda girl?
are you on the Jared Diet?

"hey woman you shut your mouth and make babies"
"hey woman get in the kitchen and make me some pie"

 

[Soprano]

Originally posted by Captain Popular
so, you a 6'' or a foot long kinda girl?
are you on the Jared Diet?

"hey woman you shut your mouth and make babies"
"hey woman get in the kitchen and make me some pie"

hhaahah
hahahahahha

 

[izza]

Originally posted by Lock
first approach. In the subway. She was with a friend. So I go (after 5 min)
"Whats your name?
She said very unconfortable "Cindy"
ME "so where are you going? to a concert?" (for her clothes)
She "yeah sure"
ME: "Give me your e-mail"
She "No"
me "So give me your cell number"
She "no"
ME "Yeah, nice to meet you"
(After i did thsi in a very funny state, because it was my first.)

Second approach. a week later. In the subway again. a girl about 17-18 very very beautiful.
Can I ask you a quick question? (yeah, David D material)
She (with a smile) "Yeah?"
(Some guy beside mee approaches to hear what i was saying)
ME "Are you songle?"
She "Ummm....No" (then turns her back)
ME (persisted) "Hey but i have a friend... (you know the story)
She "No, thank you very much but Im not interested"

Third approeach, Subway again (I dont know why i like to do ir here, i dont go to clubs and i wanted static targets i think)
ME: "Hey what's your name"
She "No"
ME: "Will you tell me your name?"
She: Why?
ME: "Because I want to meet you"
She. (Very serious face) "No"
ME: "Well as you wish. Nice to meet you"

Fourth approach: Subway again.
ME: "Are you single?"
She "(Petrified) says nothing
ME: "Whats your name?"
She: Ummmm (her eyes darting around)
ME: "Goodbye"

5th approeach: (yeah, subway)
ME: I sit right beside her, and I go: "Can I ask you a quick question?
She: "Yeah, sure"
ME: "Are you single?"
She: Wha...what?
ME: "Are you single"
She: (Turns red and starts giving her air with her hand)
ME: "Look, I have a friend i think will find you pretty and i think you should meet him"
She: (smiling) No, I'm not interested.
ME: OK.

Thats my first 5 approaches
More later.

Congratulations on your first five approaches!!

You're at the first step - just doing it. The next step is experimenting with different kinds of approaches and finding what's right for you. That canned stuff won't get you very far (though it will work if you try it enough of them - almost everything will eventually work on some HB).

For the record, I pulled a girl on the subway just yesterday in fact. I asked her a question because the police were searching people at one of the stations. Anyway, thanks to my exotic foreign accent (I'm in France) this piqued her curiosity, as did my smooth transition to other topics She was from out of town though and was going back Monday, both of us were disappointed, I think. I thought of a date idea just as she walked away. Darn it.

I'm still chumpish, no doubt about it.

My goal for the year is to start conversations with people in the subway (in French). Unlike you, I find the subway extremely uncomfortable because I can sense other people's instant suspicion towards me. Oh well!

Best of luck!

D

 

[Lock]

Thanks for the comments. Really my main objetive is to overcome my anxiety. Now I'm approaching but there was a complete year i was thinking of approaching and not doing it.
Really I still can't think something to say in a few seconds so i use canned openers for now.
There were people at the Mall entrance and I was waiting for some person. So I saw a girl and approached.
Me: So what's your name?
Girl: Nicole
Me: Aren't you the girl I was waiting for all this time?
Girl: No.
Me: but your name is Nicole.
Girl: Yeah.
Me: So? (suspicious face)
Girl: I'm waiting for my boyfriend
Me: so you have a boyfriend
Girl: Yeah
Me: Cool. A challenge. It was time. (I think this is from some guy called Brian I think)
Girl: heh?
Me: Look. Give me your e-mail.
Girl: I don't have e-mail
Me: So give me your cell number
Girl: No.
Me: Ok Nice to meet you!

 

[Mtrain]

dude, heres an example of an approach.. not in the subway though..

I was walking through a parking lot on the way to my car when some girl pulls my left arm. She was with a bunch of friends.

Girl: Hey! do I know you???

Me: (I look at her face but she didn't look familiar to me) Uhhhh, I don't think so.....

Girl: Oh, I'm Gina....

Me: I'm Mtrain.... (I walk away a couple steps) Nice to meet you... I don't think we've met... Was that a pickup line???

Girl: hehehehe!!! (Her friends were giggling too)

Analysis:
I don't think I ever met her before... But, I found it kind of amusing being pulled over by a total stranger..

This happened a while back.. I didn't get no number out of it, because I wasn't expecting it..and it was very cold outside that day.. but as an example, it's a little more natural approach then simply going up to a girl in the subway and asking if she's single.

Another perhaps better way to start a conversation is in the aisle at a Duane Reade or CVS, some girl might be looking for medicine or whatever, and she might ask you for help or your opinion on the item.. This was another possible way to start a conversation...

Mtrain

 

[American_Psycho]

If you actually want to get a number, I would recommend practicing situational openers and developing conversations. Do you really think a girl is going to give her number or e-mail to a random guy she's known for less than 30 seconds? You need to build rapport.

I give you credit for going out and making an effort but you need to develop a better routine than asking an opening question and then demanding a number. You're projecting a very creepy vibe.

 

[yrock181]

Originally posted by thefonz
I agree that the subway is probably not the best place to start off doing approaches.....Those first 5 sounded BRUTAL!!!

Go someplace alittle more settled and inviting like a retail store or a cafe. The subway doesn't exactly have the best reputation for dealing with strangers, some of those girls probably had some sort of stigma related with the subway to begin with.

But if you are going to sarge in a subway try to get them to open up with situational statements or something, don't just walk up and say, "What's your name?". Just start talking to them as if you've known them your whole life.

Well i started doing approaches in the subway, and it's probably the easiest place for me to approach people since they are in one place, and are most likely bored. I usually start by commenting on something they have or how they look. For example i would say you look bored or something like that.

 

[silverfox]

Good on you for having the guts to get out there and approach. I don't go to clubs either so I look to make approaches on public transport (city dweller) and in stores.

I am not an expert but I think you are being far too direct, most posters have touched on this already.

My advice would be to not be so "in your face." You can start by asking about timetables or something. I have started conversations by making an observation about something that is drawing everyone's attention, asking a girl if I can see the sports score on the back of her paper etc. These seem to work quite well.

You are clearly pretty fearless about approaching so I think you have a big head start. Have you looked at the DJ Bible? A bootcamp is good too. There's a buncha threads on those here.

 

[pimpfromdayone]

Dam-n son, that shi-t sounds HARSH. Obviously you're not doing something right. I mean, most people at LEAST get the girl to answer their simple questions or laugh politely.
Could be your body language or voice tone, or maybe just your directness. You definitely should work on your convo skills. Yeah yeah yeah, "it's not what you say but how you say it." I've heard that a thousand times. In reality, it is both. Well man, keep working on it and you'll be a pro before you know it.

Btw, you probably should look into other places for approaching chicks besides the subway, lol. Sometimes girls really just don't want to be fu-cked with.