My Amazing LTR GF has a "Bad Past"

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Yea I know people change and 2-3 years down the track and I might be a totally different person. I don't want to focus on how bad a person can get through changes butI want to focus on the positives and stay happy.

 

[belividere]

Yea I know people change and 2-3 years down the track and I might be a totally different person. I don't want to focus on how bad a person can get through changes butI want to focus on the positives and stay happy.

That is a great attitude to have. But you need to be real about the circumstance and not sugar coat it. First off there are a ton of girls out there that haven't been as promiscuous as she has. To be honest most girls aren't that promiscuous to be willing to take part in a threesome regardless of the company. Trust me I've been involved in any type of 3way possible. Some of the easiest lays I have had were 3ways with an african roommate of mine at the time. Also some of the least likely girls that I'd ever consider datable

Your acting like this girl can escape her past when in reality she cant. Your questioning it right now as will everyone of her future boyfriends. That isn't your problem, it's hers. 7 partners by 21 isn't normal either. You can find a girl with enough self-respect to have much lower numbers. The only problem is that you have to work that much harder.

Your stuck with two choices; drop the girl, or hold on to her. Not that it matters but I'd drop her like a bad habit. If you choose to hold on to her you need to forget her past. That is easier said then done.

 

[belividere]

Yea I know people change and 2-3 years down the track and I might be a totally different person. I don't want to focus on how bad a person can get through changes butI want to focus on the positives and stay happy.

There is a huge difference between focusing on positives and focusing on reality.

Your call in the end. Short term positives or long term trends? And her long term really isn't that long term as she's only 21

 

[Last Man Standing]

7 guys in 3 years is a lot and not a little!! She has been with you and another dude for a year and a half - so five others in 2 years time. I only trust principled women - virgins -- all others are merely sexual encounters that should not be trusted - especially the young ones since they are not as desperate to be with one man as the 30 year olds!!

The threesomes and F-Buddies should be a warning to you!!!

As much as you try, you'll never forget her past -- this is the natural reaction for men to have!!!

You are just the next pimp in line - don't cry when you find out she has another man!

 

[strong like bull]

LMS:
my girlfriend have now was a virgin. im 22 and shes 17. i suspected worse at first based off what im used to seeing of girls... but was suprised to find out i was the first guy that even fingered or went down on her. let alone took her virginity. i dated her for about 3 months before i took it. there came i point where she started giving me the 'i love you' eyes all the time when lying next to me... and i knew she was ready.

i have to admit, that, and just the strong principles and love for family she has is completely opposet of the hor behavior ive experienced in the past. shes such a sweetheart wouldnt trade her for any one of those common bar sluts out there.


and for the record, all the girls in my past who had fvcked up childhoods or bad experiences, went negative in the longrun. all ended up being pretty wacky.

-SLB

 

[Last Man Standing]

Strong, next week my nephew is marrying his ten year g/f who I think was a virgin when they got together in High School. She is a sweet person and from what I know is loyal to him -- there a few girls that date one man and end up being married to him -- they are not concerned with having various sexual experiences before marriage - they just want to meet a like-minded good person to share their life with. It is the mindset of the woman that you have to look at!

Because she opened her legs to one man doesn't make her evil -- but what if the dude leaves a few months later? And she does it again, and again! What does this tell you? I know of a woman who had sex with one man and a few months later after he sucked her nectar out of her she vowed not to have sex again until marriage - it does happen --- although rare in America!

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

So what you are trying to say is that I should leave this woman based on what she has done long before she has even met me...not because she has done anything wrong to me while she is with me. She only had 2 previous boyfriends before she did the threesome and she did feel wrong about it and vowed to herself never to do it ever again. FYI she had 7 partners in 5years. I've had 10 the past year not to mention the ones I didn't go all the way with. There was also one stage where I had sex with one girl in the morning and then slept with another girl in a few hours. So does that make me despicable? I used to f'uck around with so many girls while with a main one but now staying committed to one.

Look, she hasn't done anything wrong by me since I've been going out with her. She was just going to be another FB to me at the start but she was better than all the other ones I've met and she satisfies me in many aspects. I wasn't planning on taking her seriously but I ended up with her for so long because she treats me like a king and she was GF material. If I knew we were going the serious path I wouldn't have kept going if I knew the "threesome" issue is going to eat me up. But this was unexpected.

Look, she doesn't smoke or do drugs and barely drinks. She takes care of herself and insists on taking me out all the time and buys me presents. She doesn't go out clubbing unless she is with me. She never flirts with any guys let alone checks out any. She's more loyal than any girl I have met. She is a real sweet person. The only strikes I have with her is her insecurity about other girls trying to steal me or she thinks I will run away with another girl. Apart from that, nothing. Because if she ever play up then everything she has will be shattered by her own actions.

 

[Bonhomme]

What's more important: what she was, or what she is?

 

[Holland]

which I don't believe at all. If you read carefully between that she says that everyone else lost their virginity at 14... how the hell does she know about "everyone else"...? You know why...? because when usually someone mentions a "fact" like that it tends to be somewhat true & applicable about themselves as well do you get what I'm saying...?

Dude, wtf, I'd fuuck a girl when I was 14 if I wasn't such a loser back then.
It doesn't matter dude.

As for OP. You're overreacting and the fact that you're judging her like this is pathetic. If you would've gotten an opportunity to be in a girl-girl-you threesome when you were single, wouldn't you do it?
I know I would.

Take penkittens advice.
If you can't appreciate her honesty than that's your issue, not hers.

 

[BrandoCommando]

I didn't read any of the other replys....

I had a girl like that once and she was taken from me by god and I still to this day wish she was still here. Shes a keeper man, she sounded like you loved her; she reminded me of my fiance... my fiance had a terrible pass with a lot of drinking involved too. Just don't worry about her pass and just move on... isn't there something in your pass you try to forget...don't dwell on hers and talk to her and maybe tell her your uneasy about her pass.... My Fiance told me she wished she hadn't made those choices but that made her who she ise is now....and I met her in the "now". So maybe if she didn't do those things she wouldn't be so awesome?!?

 

[KarmaSutra]

Is it more important to be miserable and have the omnipotent power to know what your loved ones have done or focus your attention on what they're capable of doing in the future?

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

Sometimes IGNORANCE IS BLISS!

 

[mrRuckus]

Your acting like this girl can escape her past when in reality she cant. Your questioning it right now as will everyone of her future boyfriends.

Is this girl stupid? Why can't she keep her mouth shut?

You really have to be stupid to be telling your bf/gf about your sexual past. Take this as a lesson to keep your mouth shut.

I never answer the "how many girls have you slept with" question with a number.

I can't believe this guy actually sat there and listened to horror stories he knew would give him nightmares.

Her: "Honey, i want to tell you about me ****ing other guys."
Him: "How about we skip the talk?" *unzips pants*

 

[Rudy_TubeSteak]

MrRuckus, she told me those antics when we were just hanging out as friends. It was part of a dare (truth or dare) that we were asking each questions before I even liked her. I didn't even think I would see her again after that. If we both knew we were heading towards a more serious relationship she wouldn't have metnioned it and I wouldn't have ask.

But as someone have said, she had everything to lose by being honest and don't want skeletons in the closet. She was being loyal and didn't want to hide things from me. Being honest was a gamble she took to earn my trust.

Nearly all of the virgins or sexually dull girls I have met or involved with are simply boring, pain in the a'ss, disrespectful, misguided and thickheaded. Most of the problems do not even come from the issue of sex but everything else about them is just not worth the effort.

 

[ThunderMaverick]

Nearly all of the virgins or sexually dull girls I have met or involved with are simply boring, pain in the a'ss, disrespectful, misguided and thickheaded. Most of the problems do not even come from the issue of sex but everything else about them is just not worth the effort.

I've experienced this from almost ALL virgins over 20 that I've met so far.

My younger sister is a 19 year old virgin and she's JUST like you described. I love her, but feel sorry for anyone trying to get into a relationship with her.

 

[betterthandead]

I'm curious as to how you know these things, as to whether you either asked for them or when in her guilt/drunken ways muttered her past bits one by one. You do know that the reasoning behind her being "amazing" is that she's had quite a number of experiences with other guys so she learned from the past and applied it for the current.

With all that's said in the thread, it's your decision whether you want to leave or not, especially if it's biting at your conscience.

 

[tmpgstx]

She wasn't being skanky just experimented I mean she was single and very sexually active then. How many very sexually active girls do you who is 21 and only slept with 7 guys? I have never seen her do anything skanky and certainly doesnt put herself in a situation that would lead to anything.

I have yet to read the other posts, but DevanE's post says alot.

You are making excuses for her (see quote above). She got double-stuffed and probably more than once. Seven guys? I guess that means 5 then or less as two were at once. You can bet she has played all this down quite a bit, a girl who does the threesome thing isn't going to be restrained to those simple stats.

 

[Last Man Standing]

"I was a pimp, I raped 7 girls and I had homosexual lovers --- but don't judge me on that honey - that was the past - you have to trust and love me for being honest".

Your past defines who you are - the future didn't happen yet!!!

The more information that you have the better decisions you make in life!! This is a no-brainer!! Her past is an indicator of her mindset!!!

 

[MacAvoy]

Ever see the movie Chasing Amy? Well thats what's going to happen to you if you don't smarten up?

My advice is as follows: basically she's already gone through her experimental phase and now that she knows how skanky that is, she values what is important, aka someone that values her and treats her with respect. Therefore she does everything right to keep what she values in a positive mindframe.

Its also a positive sign that she was forthcoming with said information. It means she isn't trying to hide her past but learnt from it. Like you, I've got more than my fair share of skeletons in the closet, most of which I keep there, however there are a couple that always seem to rear there head, so at some point fairly early on but after trust has already been established, I let them know about it. Again its a respect thing.


As for letting your guard down, you should never do that whether she's sleep with 20 guys or 1 guy. However you both are young, chances are you won't marry this women or spend the next 50 years with her, that is the cold hard truth. However make the most of it, don't ruin a good thing worrying about her past, just enjoy her company.

 

[MacAvoy]

7 guys in 3 years is a lot and not a little!! ....

The threesomes and F-Buddies should be a warning to you!!!

As much as you try, you'll never forget her past -- this is the natural reaction for men to have!!!

You are just the next pimp in line - don't cry when you find out she has another man!

Are you that insecure with your game and judgement of women? I always thought you were a half decent poster around here but lately your posts seem to be jaded.

When dealing with women, I agree that you always have to keep an eye out, but if your going to only trust virgins, then your limiting yourself severely. More importantly your probably going to be lied to about their virgin status.

You sound like a man who's been burnt, like a women treated you like you were next in line. This women has done nothing but treat him like gold, been honest and forthcoming, that being said you just simply give someone a shorter leash if thats what their past warrants. You don't throw the baby out with the bath water.