My 4 year ex is sleeping with one of my best mates - experienced advice ONLY please.

[PectoralisMajor]

Clearly HE is in the wrong and shouldnt even go there given she is my ex of 4 years if we are to stay buddies.

It shows a dis-respect for me, and supposedly his girlfriend who I think he's still with.

How I know its going on isn't important, what is important is that although I have another girl on the go who I'm into, my friend has crossed a line that shouldnt be crossed.

Any advice or is there NOTHING I can do?

I remember in the past when I split up with my ex, I had to muscle him off the idea of anything with her because my friend seemed to think it was 'OK' - clearly its NOT.

Thoughts?

 

[Falcon25]

She's not yours, she can fuvk your brother if she wanted to. First, he is no longer your friend. Second, the only thing you can do, is cut him and her out of your life for a lifetime. NEVER surround yourself with negativity like this. Problem solved. Any other questions?

 

[garruk]

yeah hes definately in the wrong but what are you going to about it?

hes being shady and you dont need friends like that.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

Great, a friend of 5 years LOST. still, it was HIS choice when he decided to play around with my ex.

As for the surrounding with negativity, your right, nothing good will come of it so its best avoided.

out of all the women out there he has to go for my ex, well thats just great isnt it, good thinking genius.

 

[Falcon25]

This is not a friend who you LOST. This is a friend who has been wanting to fuvk your girlfriend for many months, if not years. Friends don't fuvk your ex'. You didn't lose anything, you just found out you never had a friend. If you ever speak to this guy again, you are biggest puvsy on earth and should be shot. Peace.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

what will I do about it?

I will probably explain calmly that he has let me down, it is thoughtless, inconsiderate and that as a friend I would have helped him out if he had ever been in trouble, but he has betrayed my trust, and I dont see how we can be friends.

the immature way is to just ignore it and never discuss.

In a way this is prity rediculous because my ex's best friend - she went out with my buddy for a year. My ex's friend - she wont be pleased either if she has half a brain cell given she still had feelings after my buddy dumped her.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

calm confrontation makes someone a *****?? what - it's the opposite. trying to ignore and pretend there are no problems is what defines a ***** or coward.

 

[Iceberg]

This is not a friend who you LOST. This is a friend who has been wanting to fuvk your girlfriend for many months, if not years. Friends don't fuvk your ex'. You didn't lose anything, you just found out you never had a friend. If you ever speak to this guy again, you are biggest puvsy on earth and should be shot. Peace.

Exactly. He didn't lose a friend. He gained more knowledge about who is trustworthy in your life.

 

[garruk]

This is not a friend who you LOST. This is a friend who has been wanting to fuvk your girlfriend for many months, if not years. Friends don't fuvk your ex'. You didn't lose anything, you just found out you never had a friend. If you ever speak to this guy again, you are biggest puvsy on earth and should be shot. Peace.

this is the truth.

 

[garruk]

falcon25, im digging the last few things you've had to say in this forum. cheers.

 

[1 Bad Dude]

Do nothing? Thats the advice? Really?

Fast forward five years. New friend(NF) says after meeting old friend randomly one day.

NF: who was he?
You: My ex-bestfriend.
NF: Ex? What happened?
You: He slept with my girlfriend.
NF: Holy shat! What did you do?
You: Nothing. I just quit talking to him.
NF: Oh. that's it? (thinks to himself-- thats all I have to worry about is no contact if I fvck his HB9.5 girlfriend?)
You: Yep. Thats all that I can do... yadda yadda blah blah nice guy bullcrap.

Seriously. Kick his ass. Put a hurtin' on him. Put him in a hospital if you can. Be a man and stand up for yourself. Then fvck his girl. Thats what I'd do.

 

[Ease]

what will I do about it?

I will probably explain calmly that he has let me down, it is thoughtless, inconsiderate and that as a friend I would have helped him out if he had ever been in trouble, but he has betrayed my trust, and I dont see how we can be friends.

the immature way is to just ignore it and never discuss.

In a way this is prity rediculous because my ex's best friend - she went out with my buddy for a year. My ex's friend - she wont be pleased either if she has half a brain cell given she still had feelings after my buddy dumped her.

He clearly values the vaj more than he values you.

Why would you be polite and calm about this? It's not good to lose friends over girls, but this guy doesn't like you that much. There's not a lot you can do. Think about it, you wouldn't do it to a friend you held dear.

This guy is a bellend. No need to lecture him about good friendship, he probably thinks your a loser.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

1 bad dude, i'm hearing you, ignoring my buddys actions is poor work because

1) friend doesnt understand why he's been ditched or what he's done - he NEEDS to because clearly he is CLUELESS.

2) time for him to face the actions of his choices.

I wont be putting him in hospital, and I wont be fvcking his bird because she is ugly. FACT.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

my friend is prity sensitive, and NO he doesnt think i'm a looser, he's made a BAD call / decision and doesnt have many friends, now he has 1 less!

 

[1 Bad Dude]

You don't have to put him in the hospital. I was just getting carried away, but you know what I mean. You have got to enforce consequences to his actions though. Mark your boundaries and don't let any one cross them. Being a man isn't some checklist you can hang on the front door and everybody will abide. Being a man is doing whats necessary. Even if it's been twisted into something that seems impossibly hard. Just walk up to him and say "head or gut?" Then sock him in it. If he protests or starts acting stupid, proceed to kick his ass.

 

[Energy25]

To be honest, I see no reason why your friend shouldn't bang her. She's not yours anymore, and he can fuk whoever he wants. I don't get why you're so upset. You're clearly not over her.

 

[PectoralisMajor]

lets be clear about this, I AM over her. what's NOT pleasant is knowing one of your best mates is fvcking your ex. AWKWARD, THOUGHTLESS,DISRESPECTFUL - plenty of other women out there, why this one.

funny this but I DONT want to be reminded of my ex every time I see him - makes sense right.

 

[Ease]

my friend is prity sensitive, and NO he doesnt think i'm a looser, he's made a BAD call / decision and doesnt have many friends, now he has 1 less!

Your friend has banged your ex, your ex's best friend and is cheating on his girlfriend atm, your friend has game. Your friend is also probably not a moron, contrary to what you think. Buddy, your friend is a prick. He's not an idiot, hes just a prick.

But you want to 'tell him its disrespectful', and 'teach him the consequences of his actions'.

In the end its your decision what you do. But telling him its disrespectful is like telling your girlfriend that flirting with other guys on a regular basis is disrespectful. She might act dumb, but she knows exactly how it makes you feel. And how do you deal with a girlfriend that flirts behind your back? You 'tell her it's disrespectful'?

 

[PectoralisMajor]

WRONG - you tjink game is having an ugly girlfriend for 2 years, sleeping with another girl for a year before that, and now another girl. SO 3 girls, two of which were ugly, over 3-4 years. yea REAL GAME...errrrrr wait hold on.

Ease, your quick to shoot down how not to deal with this situation - isnt something missing, like HOW YOU would deal with it. you've erm, missed it out?

 

[PectoralisMajor]

oh, and I didnt call him a moron, you did - I called him clueless about making this decision and the consequences it brings.

I DO agree he is a prick.