Kaim Argonar
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2007
- Messages
- 108
- Reaction score
- 0
After having browsed for a while I've decided to step into the scene... I'm well aware of conventional Internet wisdom when it comes to dating, but anyway, there's nothing to lose with personal topics like these.
This is an area where there seem to be countless contradictions. You'll often read that it's when you don't seek that opportunities occur, that attraction isn't a choice, that women are always in the position of power to make decisions about the birth of new relationships, and so to avoid failure or disappointment, you must ultimately wait for a girl to give you pretty explicit hints before attempting to take things further. But then, there's the danger of throwing away precious time by waiting too long.
As to how it applies to me, I've just completed my first session at university. I've only entered it at a relatively late age (26) because the last few years have been trying, as I was dealing with chronic anemia and other hormonal woes, frequently forced to spend long periods of time at the hospital or suffering alone at home.
But after burying all this in the past, I was eager to pass onto more positives ventures. I changed towns, took my own apartment, and began college life. This first session was only to warm myself up. Even if I am a bit older than the average student, fortunately enough I look pretty young for my age and no one can tell the difference.
These have been satisfying times. I've joined a few clubs, made a few friends, talked to a lot of people, went to a few parties, talked to random girls... everyone was very nice and seemed to appreciate my presence, I haven't felt treated badly even once. I also liked my attitude, I was feeling confident and hard to impress even in front of pretty girls, but not to the point of looking obnoxious and pompous. I didn't feel ugly, at least reasonably good looking... a few times when feeling a bit more blue, I randomly stared at my visage in the mirror, and spontaneously thought that I didn't look bad at all and it was comforting.
I even asked out a girl I fancied. She said I was a very interesting person, but declined by saying that she was moving out soon, and she was at the end of her major, and thus too stressed with her exams to date. Of course you can't tell if this is sincere, or a deception to avoid hurting your feelings... but nevertheless I was proud to see how well I took it, and how I was able to be lighthearted and joke around as usual in stride when being near her in the few following weeks.
I feel well enough on my own to avoid needing a woman's validation in order to feel worthy, and have other interests like films and arts that take a lot of my time in order not to put these emotional struggles in the center stage.
Of course, it'd ultimately be a lie to deny that I didn't feel weepy and miserable at times, but fortunately I didn't let this take over my existence. I would've liked to have opportunities to grasp. Alas, even with all these contacts and efforts, it was impossible to ever go deeper with anyone. To remedy this in the next session I am going to take up tennis courses to put myself out there a bit more, and perhaps exercize a bit at the university's gym. I'm also going to lift weights at home to improve my posture and attempt to gain a bit of muscle.
But if it doesn't seem to be sufficient to generate more interest from females in the next session, does this mean that it would be a good idea to adopt a more proactive attitude, and slyly flirt with some girls in classes, clubs and stuff?
This is an area where there seem to be countless contradictions. You'll often read that it's when you don't seek that opportunities occur, that attraction isn't a choice, that women are always in the position of power to make decisions about the birth of new relationships, and so to avoid failure or disappointment, you must ultimately wait for a girl to give you pretty explicit hints before attempting to take things further. But then, there's the danger of throwing away precious time by waiting too long.
As to how it applies to me, I've just completed my first session at university. I've only entered it at a relatively late age (26) because the last few years have been trying, as I was dealing with chronic anemia and other hormonal woes, frequently forced to spend long periods of time at the hospital or suffering alone at home.
But after burying all this in the past, I was eager to pass onto more positives ventures. I changed towns, took my own apartment, and began college life. This first session was only to warm myself up. Even if I am a bit older than the average student, fortunately enough I look pretty young for my age and no one can tell the difference.
These have been satisfying times. I've joined a few clubs, made a few friends, talked to a lot of people, went to a few parties, talked to random girls... everyone was very nice and seemed to appreciate my presence, I haven't felt treated badly even once. I also liked my attitude, I was feeling confident and hard to impress even in front of pretty girls, but not to the point of looking obnoxious and pompous. I didn't feel ugly, at least reasonably good looking... a few times when feeling a bit more blue, I randomly stared at my visage in the mirror, and spontaneously thought that I didn't look bad at all and it was comforting.
I even asked out a girl I fancied. She said I was a very interesting person, but declined by saying that she was moving out soon, and she was at the end of her major, and thus too stressed with her exams to date. Of course you can't tell if this is sincere, or a deception to avoid hurting your feelings... but nevertheless I was proud to see how well I took it, and how I was able to be lighthearted and joke around as usual in stride when being near her in the few following weeks.
I feel well enough on my own to avoid needing a woman's validation in order to feel worthy, and have other interests like films and arts that take a lot of my time in order not to put these emotional struggles in the center stage.
Of course, it'd ultimately be a lie to deny that I didn't feel weepy and miserable at times, but fortunately I didn't let this take over my existence. I would've liked to have opportunities to grasp. Alas, even with all these contacts and efforts, it was impossible to ever go deeper with anyone. To remedy this in the next session I am going to take up tennis courses to put myself out there a bit more, and perhaps exercize a bit at the university's gym. I'm also going to lift weights at home to improve my posture and attempt to gain a bit of muscle.
But if it doesn't seem to be sufficient to generate more interest from females in the next session, does this mean that it would be a good idea to adopt a more proactive attitude, and slyly flirt with some girls in classes, clubs and stuff?