You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Dude you won't believe most of my pickups have been on the running track, when they are freaking running round and round listening to their IPod music. I have stopped doing that now cuz it saps a ton of energy from myself.ARrocket said:
Thanks, I'll do that. I have nothing to lose, right?daygameguy said:
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
What I do is when I'm reading a paper on a train next to a girl I'll point to an outrageous article and say "look at this. listen to this 'read headline'" and get her involved while joking about some of the silly things in the news.Lifeforce said:Hm, well Im usually reading a free newspaper on the bus. Last time I folded the paper together and pointed to her towards it as if she wanted it. She said "yes please" when she reached out to grab it I pulled back to tease her
Anyways, I'm not picking up women out in the cold anymore but it seemed like it worked good. If she was wearing headphones I'd just ask her if she wanted it and then pull back and after she got the paper I'd start to talk to her to see if she would start to read the paper (not interested) or continue talking.
In a seated setting (bus, restaurant, coffee shop) - take out a piece of paper, draw a tic tac toe, pass it to her, if she is cool.. she'll play along. Finally let her win, and she'll be willing to break the ice with you.guywhoneedshelp said:
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.