You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Dude you won't believe most of my pickups have been on the running track, when they are freaking running round and round listening to their IPod music. I have stopped doing that now cuz it saps a ton of energy from myself.ARrocket said:
Thanks, I'll do that. I have nothing to lose, right?daygameguy said:
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
What I do is when I'm reading a paper on a train next to a girl I'll point to an outrageous article and say "look at this. listen to this 'read headline'" and get her involved while joking about some of the silly things in the news.Lifeforce said:Hm, well Im usually reading a free newspaper on the bus. Last time I folded the paper together and pointed to her towards it as if she wanted it. She said "yes please" when she reached out to grab it I pulled back to tease her
Anyways, I'm not picking up women out in the cold anymore but it seemed like it worked good. If she was wearing headphones I'd just ask her if she wanted it and then pull back and after she got the paper I'd start to talk to her to see if she would start to read the paper (not interested) or continue talking.
In a seated setting (bus, restaurant, coffee shop) - take out a piece of paper, draw a tic tac toe, pass it to her, if she is cool.. she'll play along. Finally let her win, and she'll be willing to break the ice with you.guywhoneedshelp said:
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.