"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Movies
- Thread starter Swede54
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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It's not this aspect of movies that pisses me off. It's the propaganda spread in movies that tries to turn us into AFCs. For example, many romance movies encourage the guy to act like a complete wuss, tell her she means the word to him after a date, buy her flowers, gifts, etc. I started a whole thread on this issues a few weeks back.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Wild at Heart is one (although this is just a remake of the wizard of Oz so Im not sure if its romance)
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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My best freinds wedding is mah sh!t.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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Either that or the owners of flower and gift shops where poor saps buy their dates all sorts of sh1t lol
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Panda 2000
Senior Don Juan
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I feel comfortable with the fact that I have no girlfriend at the moment - but sucky Hollywood movies indeed try to make you feel pathetic.
cant think of a user name
Master Don Juan
Yes, oftentimes you will see a completely pathetic, sad and p-whipped man in a movie....... but dont worry, dont stress, dont throw your shoe at the tv/cinema screen.... because movie characters live in a distorted reality.
It's really not worth getting frustrated about, although I can definitely understand where you're coming. It really begs the question: do HOLLYWOOD ROMANCE MOVIES really have a profound effect on society's values and beliefs? . Can we just ignore it, or is it a real issue that needs to be addressed? I mean, sure we have those stupid movies, BUT we also have real men in the world who are seemingly unaffected by this hollywood phenomena.
I better end this rambling now and let you guys answer.
First of all: it's not only Hollywood - it's any medium that dictates how life should be (like I said, Cosmo is also a good example of this). In this "ideal picture" men have to be AFCs per se, as single men are seen as pathetic. I don't think this "ideal picture" can be ignored. 100 years ago people read newspapers - and that was about it. Nowadays we watch movies and tv, read magazines and gather information from the internet all the time - you'll have a hard time not to be influenced by that!
Not only the media are to blame for the construction of the "ideal picture". They think they just present "the real world" (as they see it). They do, however, consolidate the picture of that world, and make different interpretations obsolete. For instance, people who are not engaged in relationships are pathetic, because movies and magazines confirm this.
What do you mean by "real man" exactly? I think those are the ones that claim the right to choose - without being concerned whether or not it fits in the "ideal picture".
Oh btw, something funny happened today - a friend has send me a card in which she tells me she felt really, really sorry I had to spend the holidays without a girlfriend. The funny part is: I don't see anything wrong with it myself. I had a great time with my family and friends, and I even got laid. It is just another example of what people think of guys who do not fit in the "ideal picture".
blackbirdbeatle
Senior Don Juan
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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Hell, if we made movies 50% realistic, people would start reading books instead.
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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People have been trying to live up to expectations since the beginning of time. WE are living up to expectations - after all, aren't we all trying to fit into the image of "successful"?
In 200BC, before the invention of television, the ancient Romans were all living up to expectations of their family and Roman society. The Goths were living up to the expectations of their Germanic tribal society.
Has the world ever changed?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.