"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Movies
- Thread starter Swede54
- Start date
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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It's not this aspect of movies that pisses me off. It's the propaganda spread in movies that tries to turn us into AFCs. For example, many romance movies encourage the guy to act like a complete wuss, tell her she means the word to him after a date, buy her flowers, gifts, etc. I started a whole thread on this issues a few weeks back.
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
Wild at Heart is one (although this is just a remake of the wizard of Oz so Im not sure if its romance)
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Tha Realnezz
Master Don Juan
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My best freinds wedding is mah sh!t.
TillTheEndOfTime
Master Don Juan
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Either that or the owners of flower and gift shops where poor saps buy their dates all sorts of sh1t lol
dearsappho
Senior Don Juan
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Panda 2000
Senior Don Juan
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I feel comfortable with the fact that I have no girlfriend at the moment - but sucky Hollywood movies indeed try to make you feel pathetic.
cant think of a user name
Master Don Juan
Yes, oftentimes you will see a completely pathetic, sad and p-whipped man in a movie....... but dont worry, dont stress, dont throw your shoe at the tv/cinema screen.... because movie characters live in a distorted reality.
It's really not worth getting frustrated about, although I can definitely understand where you're coming. It really begs the question: do HOLLYWOOD ROMANCE MOVIES really have a profound effect on society's values and beliefs? . Can we just ignore it, or is it a real issue that needs to be addressed? I mean, sure we have those stupid movies, BUT we also have real men in the world who are seemingly unaffected by this hollywood phenomena.
I better end this rambling now and let you guys answer.
First of all: it's not only Hollywood - it's any medium that dictates how life should be (like I said, Cosmo is also a good example of this). In this "ideal picture" men have to be AFCs per se, as single men are seen as pathetic. I don't think this "ideal picture" can be ignored. 100 years ago people read newspapers - and that was about it. Nowadays we watch movies and tv, read magazines and gather information from the internet all the time - you'll have a hard time not to be influenced by that!
Not only the media are to blame for the construction of the "ideal picture". They think they just present "the real world" (as they see it). They do, however, consolidate the picture of that world, and make different interpretations obsolete. For instance, people who are not engaged in relationships are pathetic, because movies and magazines confirm this.
What do you mean by "real man" exactly? I think those are the ones that claim the right to choose - without being concerned whether or not it fits in the "ideal picture".
Oh btw, something funny happened today - a friend has send me a card in which she tells me she felt really, really sorry I had to spend the holidays without a girlfriend. The funny part is: I don't see anything wrong with it myself. I had a great time with my family and friends, and I even got laid. It is just another example of what people think of guys who do not fit in the "ideal picture".
blackbirdbeatle
Senior Don Juan
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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Hell, if we made movies 50% realistic, people would start reading books instead.
diplomatic_lie
Master Don Juan
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People have been trying to live up to expectations since the beginning of time. WE are living up to expectations - after all, aren't we all trying to fit into the image of "successful"?
In 200BC, before the invention of television, the ancient Romans were all living up to expectations of their family and Roman society. The Goths were living up to the expectations of their Germanic tribal society.
Has the world ever changed?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.