"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

Read more...

Moved to new city... need some advice.

Roulette

Don Juan
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Hey guys,

Well, I haven't been in these forums for awhile but this is the ONLY place I trust for good advice when I need it.

So basically I just moved to a new city (career move) and I know ZERO people.

1. I have my own business and work 100% from home.

2. No family in the area, at least anyone within my age range (22).

People meet naturally mainly through (a) school and (b) work. Two options not on the table for me as I am finished college and work from home.

So, lets brainstorm here. I'm not into scripted "go out and sarge like a robot" stuff nor am I only interested in only meeting women and getting laid. That's not what this post is about.

I simply would like to establish a group of friends (clique?) much like the ones in my old town, who I miss badly.

All suggestions are appreciated.

Kudos,
Roulette
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Roulette

Don Juan
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So, nobody has any ideas at all?
 

reset

Master Don Juan
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If I were in your shoes, didn't know anyone, I would feel very free. Start exploring your new city.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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carlitos

Don Juan
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online communities? i'm sure you can find some wingman or start with hobbie groups
the other option is...day game. i'm sure you have errands to take care of maybe you can meet some people on the way...not on purpose but i'm sure it happens when lets say you ask a genuine question then they answer with interest and just take it from there
 

The_way

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What city do you live in roulette? Do you have any hobbies like sports and whatnot? You should try to joining some clubs, learn to dance or maybe a new skill, you'll meet lots of people that way, some of them cool, some lame but if you have something in common with them then you have a solid foundation to work with.
 

MacAvoy

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I would look at 2 avenues. I recently moved to a new city and had no friends other than my g/f and didn't meet any people through her. The way I built a social circle was through hobbies. Once you have a hobby, its a natural way to meet like minded people. There are clubs you can join etc....

Another way is local forums. I also found this a great way to meet new people and try new things. Try doing a google search with your city name and local forums.
 

Roulette

Don Juan
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Cool. Thanks for all who were respectful and gave some good advice. I'm actually going to join a few clubs (awesome idea!) and also enroll in a few University classes. I love to learn, so even if I don't meet any new people I'm still happy.

1. Clubs
2. Hobbies
3. Classes of any sort
4. Generally being social wherever

That's the basic plan of action.

Kudos,
Matt
 
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