"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Most important aspect of relationships

seabreeze

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Fellas,

what's the most important aspect of a relationship for men? Is it the friendship with the woman, emotional support, or consistent sex? Which one could you live without or with less of in a relationship? Be honest.
SB ;)
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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AverageFC

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I'd say sex is relatively unimportant. I think it's mainly about having emotional support and companionship with the woman.
 

Colossus

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companionship
support
sex

They all need to be in balance. Sex w/o love and affection is empty and will eat you away. Oh, how Ive tried to ignore that fact. :rolleyes:
 

seabreeze

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I really like these answers.

So, it seems that you fellas would value friendship and companionship/affection over sex. I think that's great. I personally feel that men are great at these things and I just can't understand why they seem so driven to have sex so much.
SB
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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becker

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Companionship is definitely important, but if the sex is bad, then the relationship is going to be a bit iffy.
 

00Kevin

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The most important thing is that a woman believes in me.
When a woman fails to believe in me the relationship ends.

As a man I don't need emotional support. That is what I provide her. Sex is good but having a companion is greater.

Here are a few other things that are important to me.

1. stay thin and don't get fat
2. Always wear something sexy
3. give regular blow jobs
4. Cook me something
5. Don’t b-itch and complain
 

00Kevin

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s
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Not in any particular order, just necessary:

  1. Accepting
  2. Flexibility
  3. Integrity
  4. Giving
    [/list=1]
 

seabreeze

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So, would you guys stay in a relationship with a woman who was great in all of the areas but sex? Or how hard would you work to stay in a relationship with a woman who was your best friend and confidante, but not your ideal sexual partner?

It seems to me that men are sometimes willing to give up a lot of the relational stuff for fantastic sex whether they want to admit it or not. I've noticed that men seem captivated by crazy, emotionlly unstable women who are beautiful and give them awesome sexual experiences. They marry the stable ones and cheat on them with or fantasize about the sexy, crazy ones. True?
SB
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

00Kevin

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Originally posted by seabreeze
So, would you guys stay in a relationship with a woman who was great in all of the areas but sex? Or how hard would you work to stay in a relationship with a woman who was your best friend and confidante, but not your ideal sexual partner?


First of all, I would never want to work hard to stay in a relationship. It is either going to work naturally with out me trying or I'm not going to stay around.

what do you mean by best friend and confidante? As a man I don't want a woman to be my best friend or a confidante. I'm not interested in being an emotional tampon. I want a woman for her love. So if you were to ask me if I would stay in a relationship with a woman for love over sex then the answer would be yes. It is just common sense that love is more important then sex.

It seems to me that men are sometimes willing to give up a lot of the relational stuff for fantastic sex whether they want to admit it or not. I've noticed that men seem captivated by crazy, emotionally unstable women who are beautiful and give them awesome sexual experiences. They marry the stable ones and cheat on them with or fantasize about the sexy, crazy ones. True?
SB
Men are captivated by attractive women. It is in our nature to admire and get honey over women. There is nothing wrong with that. We also like women who act like females. As a man I expect a woman to be unstable and a bit crazy. Is that not what PMS does? All women are that way regardless of how they look or how fat they are. Personally, I like women who cry on my shoulder and who need emotional support. It makes me feel good when I can console her. Isn't that one of the reasons a woman needs a man? if she isn't emotional then she is a robot or some kind of femanazi freak of nature who doesn't need a man.

I do wish you wouldn't make such bitter statements about men.
Why would you say that men marry stable ones and then cheat on them? That just isn't true. Women cheat on their husbands just as often.

A man will fantasize about other women for the rest of his life. I can tell you that every time I meet a woman I think, "would I f-cuk her". That question crosses every mans’ mind all the time. Does that mean that he doesn't love the girl he is with? No it doesn't. It is just a natural instinct.

Some of the women I know have nicer asses then the one I’m dating, but would I cheat on her? No. I would never do such a thing. A real man takes an oath and his word of honor seriously.

REAL men don't cheat on their women regardless of the fact that they admire sexy girls.

There are very few men who would chose sex over true love. A lot of men know that sex plays a part in love. We believe that if a woman loves us then she will gladly give herself to us on a regular basis. When a woman **** blocks it is a sign that her love is fading or that she is PMSing. So remember when you say no to sex you are also saying, "No I don't love you"

Men marry women who take an oath just as seriously as they do. Some men use sluts for what they are. If a man needs to have sex he won't taint a good woman or break her heart. He will find a slut who is used of it, use her for it, and then forget about her. The good thing about this is that men are honest about what they are looking for.
 

Jariel

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So, would you guys stay in a relationship with a woman who was great in all of the areas but sex? Or how hard would you work to stay in a relationship with a woman who was your best friend and confidante, but not your ideal sexual partner?
Yes. Mutual affection is the main thing I look for and if we care about each other and enjoy being together, then the sex will always be passionate on some level, even if it's not physically fulfilling.
 

Bonhomme

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Affection and companionship

For a relationship, affection and companionship are by far the most important aspects for me. Those things, and a sort of "we're in this together" sense for which the right word escapes me now.

I really like a sort of shared sense of humor. Those sort of "in jokes" that only we really get. The silly pet names, teasing points, and all that.

Call me picky, but I also find very good sex absolutely essential. Not necessarily having the same sort of sexual interests, but enough common ground to make it hot & happening.
 

Alpine

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There's no definative answer.

Sex can hold a lot of sh1tty relationships together for years. Yet I know people who have been married 5-6 yrs and they have sex like once a month.

If both parties have similar sex drives that helps a lot, a mismatch will lead to trouble unless one is willing to DIY.

The very best of relationship have matched values and each of the factors discussed combine to make the others better, but that's in a perfect world :D
 

Francisco d'Anconia

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Originally posted by seabreeze
So, would you guys stay in a relationship with a woman who was great in all of the areas but sex? Or how hard would you work to stay in a relationship with a woman who was your best friend and confidante, but not your ideal sexual partner?

It seems to me that men are sometimes willing to give up a lot of the relational stuff for fantastic sex whether they want to admit it or not. I've noticed that men seem captivated by crazy, emotionlly unstable women who are beautiful and give them awesome sexual experiences. They marry the stable ones and cheat on them with or fantasize about the sexy, crazy ones. True?
SB
Personally I think it's easy to find a good lay. Like you alluded to, there are those out there with issues but are good in bed.

Understand that what happens in most relationships is that the sex starts off good but somewhere it trails off. It's not that the guys wouldn't first choose women with substance, it's just that things became mundane along the way.

The sex vixens seem great because there's no other levels of involvement, nothing to get bogged down with like typical relationship matters. It's just sex and when things get rocky, they spit and the guy finds another good lay. Like I said, it's easy.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

Read more...

whistler

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As people have been mentioning, camaraderie, affection, companionship, integrity, belief in your abilities... I bet those are all key to someone we'd want as a partner.

But when you're naked and intertwined you're offering each other yourselves at your most vulnerable.

That's companionship at its peak.

I don't think I could marry a woman unless we constantly wanted to attack each other (in every room in the house)... even if she had all of those other qualities.
 

seabreeze

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00Kevin, if the shoe fits where it. If you're a guy who wouldn't cheat of course I applaud you, but it does happen a lot you have to admit.

You guys have really helped me understand the emotional connection that men seek with women. But I still question why a lot of the guys here on this site seem motivated by sex. It seems to be the most important aspect per this site and MB. Are men primarily looking for a relationship with one special woman, or easy sex? If a relationship is what is desired, then why does it matter how many women you pick up in a bar on agiven night? Or how well you use the DJ Bible's maxim's? I'd think you'd not care if some AW won't give up the poon or any woman for that matter. Just wait for that special girl that will be your friend and companion and wait for sex (longer than a few dates without nexting her). You guys say that if a woman won't sex you, she should be nexted. What the hell is that about then?

I don't know...I'm not trying to be critical, but sometimes it seems like you guys speak with a forked tongue (and I know women do it too!). Why does being a DJ matter if all you really want is a female companion?

As a woman sex is VERY important to me in a relationship. If it's not there than I have a hard time being vulnerable and affectionate in the relationship. It's my primary expression of love. I've been in two long term relationships where the sex tapered off after a while and I was NOT happy. I don't believe that a man that I'm in a serious relationship with can really love me if they don't want to have sex.

Sorry for the ramble, but I'm really digging our conversation guys and your honesty!
SB;)
 

Bonhomme

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Simple, really, no contradiction

Are men primarily looking for a relationship with one special woman, or easy sex?
For me, a relationship with a special woman is what I'd like the best, but when that's not happening, I'd like to get as much (safe) action as I can. Whether I view a gal as a relationship prospect or whatever else just depends upon ourselves and our circumstances. I'm open. :D

If a relationship is what is desired, then why does it matter how many women you pick up in a bar on a given night?
Simple: it's more fun picking up gals than not picking up gals. Duh! ;)

Or how well you use the DJ Bible's maxim's?
I don't really think in those terms, as such: a lot of the stuff is just second-nature at this point (e.g., not calling too much, etc.).

I don't know...I'm not trying to be critical, but sometimes it seems like you guys speak with a forked tongue (and I know women do it too!). Why does being a DJ matter if all you really want is a female companion?
Obviously, the most desirable men have the best choice in the matter...
 

seabreeze

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Bonhomme,

But why go to the bar for a quick lay if you are looking for a girl with relationship potential? Just keep looking in the places where you might find her and don't next her just because she may not want to have sex for a while. I honestly don't know how some of you guys expect to find a good woman when you keep surrounding yourselves with the "less-than-girls." And also when you find a great girl, your so programmed by being with the less-than-girls that you expect the great girl to behave like the less-than-girl (have sex early on) and when she doesn't you next her or call her an AW. Did that make sense! LOL

Early on, a relationship material girl will definitely advertise her companionate, friendship, supportive skills to a guy more than the skills of her vagina. Don't you agree?
SB ;)
 

Blues

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From what i'm learning from my persent LTR. The most important i feel are temprement and emotional maturity. With this 2 values, it can go pretty far.

I just had a big quarrel with my gf today over something trival. She said that i didnt wait up for her and i walked too far ahead and ****. So one thing lead to another and she just took off. What am i to do? wait around for her? I went to get a drink and she called me. She started screaming and swearing at me saying how could i let her walk away and she wanted a break up. Sonehow later she spotted me and she started shouting and shoving me in public. Calling me a coward and she wanted her things back. Dont ask me how but we patched things back but it will nvr be the same. I dont think i can ever forgive her for disrespecting me in public.

Screen yr chicks properly man
 

“The 22 Rules That Turned Me From Invisible to Irresistible With Women… Starting Tonight”

You can skip the expensive cars, the fancy clothes, and the endless gym selfies. Completely unnecessary.

I used to freeze the second a beautiful woman looked my way. Frustrated. Awkward. Watching other guys walk away with the girl while I stood there tongue-tied.

Then I discovered 22 simple rules that rewired my entire dating life. The anxiety vanished. Conversations flowed effortlessly. Women started chasing me for a change.

These rules trigger a woman's subconscious attraction switches. And you can start using them tonight.

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