Most girls are afraid to approach is it our fault???

[thefemaleperspective]

Both also said they've never had any good experiences with guys they approach first because the guys just thought they were easy and besides, guys like the chase.

This is true, just check out this guys response in another thread: ( http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=125752 )

It is possible to get a girl to ask you out, but you should never count on it. And if she does ask you out, she may be good-looking, but she's probably still not the type of girl you ought to date. (There are exceptions, but this is a definite trend you should be aware of.) It takes ballz to ask someone out; you don't want a girl with ballz. Look past beauty and search for real femininity.

I personally think that some of the best relationships I've seen started with the woman approaching, but for myself, if I really like a guy, I have the same fear as the women in the o.p.'s story, about the guy thinking less of me than if he somehow magically approaches.

The worst part for me is I am one of those girls that men are afraid to approach. SO, I am alone, and they are alone. Funny, right!?

 

[thefemaleperspective]

The female perspective:

Both also said they've never had any good experiences with guys they approach first because the guys just thought they were easy and besides, guys like the chase.

This is true, just check out this guys response in another thread: ( http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=125752 )

It is possible to get a girl to ask you out, but you should never count on it. And if she does ask you out, she may be good-looking, but she's probably still not the type of girl you ought to date. (There are exceptions, but this is a definite trend you should be aware of.) It takes ballz to ask someone out; you don't want a girl with ballz. Look past beauty and search for real femininity.

I personally think that some of the best relationships I've seen started with the woman approaching, but for myself, if I really like a guy, I have the same fear as the women in the o.p.'s story, about the guy thinking less of me than if he somehow magically approaches.

The worst part for me is I am one of those girls that men are afraid to approach. SO, I am alone, and they are alone. Funny, right!?

 

[thefemaleperspective]

In seeing these answers I am suprised guys are so judgemental towards women who approach. it's like we are just as complicated and fickle as women. We're pissed we have to do all the work in approaching,yet when it happens it's cause she must be easy so we don't want her as much. maybe it can be because she sees a guy she actually is very attracted to and she does'nt want the oppurtunity to meet him to go away. As opposed to waiting for guys to hit on her and the majority are losers . She may think she either has to take, the least bad of the lot, or take matters into her own hands and try to get the type of guy who really turns her on.

This is completely TRUE.

I HAVE to play games with men, because they ARE just as fickle as women. It's crazy. Don't tell anyone I told you that, most women like men to think they are the ones doing everything, a woman's best game is making men THINK they thought of it.

 

[Jestor]

I've seen a few girls approach buddies of mine which seems great. but in talking to these guys they never have had a LTR with a woman who approached first. Last week I was at a bar-b-que with some friends when 2 girls who live near me began talking about a guy who seems new in our neighborhood and walks his dog. They thought he was super-hot, but both said he was not very friendly. It seems a 3rd girl had noticed him also and mentioned it to one of the 2 girls talking earlier during the week. Noone knew where he lived.

The girls were figuring out a way to talk to him. One thought he was shy, the other thought perhaps stuck-up. I aksed why noone just went up to talk to him since they all seem so interested,they looked shocked. They figured he must have a girlfriend or he only dates "model" types. Meanwhile the two girls talking are really hot with knock-out bodies. Both also said they've never had any good experiences with guys they approach first because the guys just thought they were easy and besides, guys like the chase.

So is it our fault we take women who approach us as easy and the ones who make us work hard for a date we appreciate more,therfore making it unpleasent experience for women to approach first??

It's not really anyone's fault. Both men and women have a tendency to rationalize failure based on anecdotal experiences. Some women will pursue, some won't. Just make it easy for them by approaching first and then letting them go after you. If she doesn't then you figure it's probably just her beliefs rather than initial shyness.

 

[Dark Chivalry]

The worst part for me is I am one of those girls that men are afraid to approach. SO, I am alone, and they are alone. Funny, right!?

Maybe men who have balls enough to approach are not attracted to you enough to approach you.

 

[thefemaleperspective]

Maybe men who have balls enough to approach are not attracted to you enough to approach you.

Or the ones with balls are complete losers who have nothing to lose.

I DO get approached by men I am interested in, but I also let alot of good ones go, because they are too shy to approach me. And if they appoach me, well then. I am a masculine hor, right?!

 

[foomee]

Wow, then I'm doing everything wrong. Lately I've been acting from experience. My ex told me one reason why she was really attracted to me was because I was a challenge and she had to pursue me and she had to work to get me to want her. She told me a lot of women like the thrill of the challenge. So lately I've been doing that with a few other girls... it's only worked with one tho. Maybe I'll try being more forward and work at it.