"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Most disturbing thing I've come to realize

U

user43770

Guest
There have been times in my life that I felt the same way. It turned out that all I needed was a little change in my life. Try to pick up a new hobby. Find something you're interested in and learn about it. You need something that you can look forward to.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Razor Sharp

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We all have tendencies and genetic leanings, no question. But as for personal choice, well they call it personal for a reason. You ALWAYS have a decision to make, no matter what opposition you face your will belongs to you and no one else. Not your dad, or his dad.. YOU

You also possess the ability to break the cycle, everyone does. I am living proof.

My father? PFFFFTTT biggest f*ckin chump you ever saw. My mom basically got knocked up with my older sister from the high school quarterback and my dad was Captain Save-a-MILF when she got dumped. Basically bought his way into her panties. To this day he complains that she only has sex with him if he takes her shopping (my folks dont understand the concept of TMI)

My grandpa? Whooped since birth - from what I hear he was a momma's boy. My grandma played the traditional role of submissive woman in public, but in private she pretty much owned him till he died. God rest their souls, love em to death but they had issues!

Then there's me, as a teen I was in their exact footsteps. Introverted. Socially awkward and self-conscious. Spineless. POONLESS!

But then one day I snapped. My dad had made a bunch of promises to me about rewards for good grades, but flaked at the very last minute because Mom decided it wouldn't be prudent for the budget...which she controls every penny of even though her lazy ass doesn't work. He proved to me that day what a pathetic wuss he was, and today I am grateful because that was a huge awakening for me. I knew that no matter what happened, I would NEVER EVER become my father. I was 17 and decided to get a job, save up and get my own place. I pondered how difficult the path ahead of me was, but it seemed a billion times more tolerable than ending up like that douchebag.

For a good year it was rough going. I worked overtime and had absolutely no social life between work and school. It sucked! But once I got my own place it was ON. Threw some parties, met lots of great people - Had multiple LJBFs with hotties :p until one day I just stopped caring they were hot. The shock and intrigue wore off when I realized these were normal people. They crap, fart and do dumb ass sh*t like everyone else. Once that pedestal was gone, so was the fear of rejection. And once you lose that my friend, you are pretty much unstoppable.

I am currently dating two women 24, and 27 - very hot and more importantly take good care of me. I still flirt and meet new women all the time. I've made it very clear that I am too young to settle and my girls let me hustle like a man should. The most priceless part is my dad's reaction to all this. In true AFC form he gets jealous and player hates, it's hilarious when your own dad tries to c*ck block you.

My point is that statistically I didn't have a choice or a chance. I had the perfect excuse to fail really, anyone would have understood. I didn't even do anything that magical or complicated to break the spell. I simply wanted out and did something about it. Where there's a will there's a way.

Focus on your intent. Meditate on what it is you want in your life. Then start connecting the dots between you and those goals and taking daily steps towards them. Realize that your situation is temporary and you have control over where your life is heading. It's really that simple.*

*Disclaimer: It's that simple provided you don't have a medical condition, for your own peace of mind you should rule out chemical imbalances, or any other physiological problem that would affect your mind. Talk to a professional, just in case.
 

spider_007

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Nygard said:
But how do I take control? Every single plan I've laid out and tried ever since I hit rock bottom after high school has failed because I can't take action on things concerning myself. The therapists just tell what I already know, they don't offer any help. How do you change that?
Break it down into tinny steps...write them down, and go step by step....if your not succeeding, then your steps arn't tiny enough, break them down even further.
 

Nygard

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I'll try all the suggestion you guys gave me. if at some point in time I managed to get out of a darker hole, maybe this time I could do it again. I can't obviously do such a 100% break like Razor because of the country I live in, but I just got news I'll start working at the JPL in Pasadena so it's the opportunity I needed.

About hobbies, does it matter if my hobbies are pretty much indoors? I enjoy building things, be it software or tangible projects. Of course, I used to enjoy playing inline hockey but the league got disbanded after a team tried to smuggle 100kg of cocaine on their equipment.
 
U

user43770

Guest
Nygard said:
About hobbies, does it matter if my hobbies are pretty much indoors? I enjoy building things, be it software or tangible projects.
Your hobbies can be anything that interests you. It doesn't matter if it's software, reading, building things or playing sports. It's just good to be passionate about something. The key here, is to always be learning something new and trying to better yourself. Don't let your life become boring and stagnant.
 

"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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spider_007

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Nygard said:
... but I just got news I'll start working at the JPL in Pasadena so it's the opportunity I needed.
Good for you :rockon: They do some really neat stuff there.

Nygard said:
.......but the league got disbanded after a team tried to smuggle 100kg of cocaine on their equipment.
now those guys know how to party....:eek: thats over 40 million street value...
 

BBbardot

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Nygard said:
I used to enjoy playing inline hockey but the league got disbanded after a team tried to smuggle 100kg of cocaine on their equipment.
Jeeeeez
 

Nygard

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It was not for a party. The goalie of the Cali (a city full of drug cartels) team has a brother who was a renowned drug lord. He convinced his little bro in smuggling the shipment into the equipment. They got caught at the airport and all funding to hockey dissapeared, now, I don't even see beer leagues here anymore.
 

Slickster

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Hello Ny,

I visited Colombia 9 months ago and really enjoyed it there. I never made it to Medellin but met a nice family from there.

I spent my time in Cartagena, San Andres, and Providencia. I have been to many different countries and I can say that as a tourist the people I met were some of the nicest and most friendly out of anywhere I've been. Especially on the islands.

It sounds to me like you really need to change locations at the very least. As others have said, identify your goals and make a plan. Stay focused and keep pushing forward until you start seeing results. Even the smallest success should give you the motivation to keep going. Baby steps at first will soon add up to greater things.

It sounds like you have a good idea of what some of your problems are. That is half the battle right there. There is plenty of information on improving your social skills in the DJ Bible. Read, learn, and challenge yourself to be better. That's what this place is for. :)

You are in university and that right there lets me know that you are an intelligent guy who is improving himself. Keep your head high, and stay strong.

Your thoughts create your own reality. When you find yourself "living in your head" or "thinking and thinking until the sun rises" start forcing yourself to think about positive things. Start seeing positive things happening in your life. Brighter days are coming.
 

Nygard

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Thank you Slickster, I'm glad you came here to visit and had a good time. It's a nice place to visit but it's brutal when you're a local that doesn't fit. I'll try to steer my ship when I go somewhere else. Going out to clubs and such in Medellin puts me on edge, and not in a good way.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Plinco

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Razor Sharp said:
We all have tendencies and genetic leanings, no question. But as for personal choice, well they call it personal for a reason. You ALWAYS have a decision to make, no matter what opposition you face your will belongs to you and no one else. Not your dad, or his dad.. YOU

You also possess the ability to break the cycle, everyone does. I am living proof.

My father? PFFFFTTT biggest f*ckin chump you ever saw. My mom basically got knocked up with my older sister from the high school quarterback and my dad was Captain Save-a-MILF when she got dumped. Basically bought his way into her panties. To this day he complains that she only has sex with him if he takes her shopping (my folks dont understand the concept of TMI)

My grandpa? Whooped since birth - from what I hear he was a momma's boy. My grandma played the traditional role of submissive woman in public, but in private she pretty much owned him till he died. God rest their souls, love em to death but they had issues!

Then there's me, as a teen I was in their exact footsteps. Introverted. Socially awkward and self-conscious. Spineless. POONLESS!

But then one day I snapped. My dad had made a bunch of promises to me about rewards for good grades, but flaked at the very last minute because Mom decided it wouldn't be prudent for the budget...which she controls every penny of even though her lazy ass doesn't work. He proved to me that day what a pathetic wuss he was, and today I am grateful because that was a huge awakening for me. I knew that no matter what happened, I would NEVER EVER become my father. I was 17 and decided to get a job, save up and get my own place. I pondered how difficult the path ahead of me was, but it seemed a billion times more tolerable than ending up like that douchebag.

For a good year it was rough going. I worked overtime and had absolutely no social life between work and school. It sucked! But once I got my own place it was ON. Threw some parties, met lots of great people - Had multiple LJBFs with hotties :p until one day I just stopped caring they were hot. The shock and intrigue wore off when I realized these were normal people. They crap, fart and do dumb ass sh*t like everyone else. Once that pedestal was gone, so was the fear of rejection. And once you lose that my friend, you are pretty much unstoppable.

I am currently dating two women 24, and 27 - very hot and more importantly take good care of me. I still flirt and meet new women all the time. I've made it very clear that I am too young to settle and my girls let me hustle like a man should. The most priceless part is my dad's reaction to all this. In true AFC form he gets jealous and player hates, it's hilarious when your own dad tries to c*ck block you.

My point is that statistically I didn't have a choice or a chance. I had the perfect excuse to fail really, anyone would have understood. I didn't even do anything that magical or complicated to break the spell. I simply wanted out and did something about it. Where there's a will there's a way.

Focus on your intent. Meditate on what it is you want in your life. Then start connecting the dots between you and those goals and taking daily steps towards them. Realize that your situation is temporary and you have control over where your life is heading. It's really that simple.*

*Disclaimer: It's that simple provided you don't have a medical condition, for your own peace of mind you should rule out chemical imbalances, or any other physiological problem that would affect your mind. Talk to a professional, just in case.
Thank you for that. It is inspirational.
 

Ricky

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Some of the worlds most beautiful women are in colombia. Someone needs to go to colombia and take this guy sarging
 

Nygard

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Yeah man, there are a good share of hot women in this country. Plastic surgery is dirt cheap, that's why. But there's a culture and social problem you might not be aware of, and that will keep me off sarging here forever and ever.
 
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