Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I don't think this is a real "newbie questions". I think you misunderstood this girl. I don't think she is playing hard to get. She just wants to get rid of you. But my advice is: if you don't see her often (less than one monthà try at least a few times, so you are sure. If you do see her several times a month: I'd try one last time, and then NEXT HER . Don't waste your time on women that are not interested in you.Originally posted by Jukeboxhero
Really good stuff, man. A very enlightening thread.
I do have one more newbie question to add to the list though. What do you consider doing to "make a move" if she is playing hard to get and/or NOT answering your calls. If I invite some girl to do something I sometimes get "Yes" or "maybe, I'll call you!" usually I never get a call from them and if I have their number and they don't answer their phone, I don't know how else to make a move.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!Originally posted by Craig Reeves
How do I impress a girl?
If your aim is to impress a girl or win her approval, you will never impress her.
Strange, I know. But the best way to impress a girl is to treat her as if YOU are the one that needs to be impressed rather than her. You need to treat her as if she's trying to get YOUR approval instead of YOU trying to get HERS. I know this seems like the complete opposite to what most newbies are taught from their parents or society, but if you want to "impress" a girl, you need to stop trying to impress HER, but start treating HER as if SHE need to impress YOU.
Can anyone answer the aforementioned question?Originally posted by Contender
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!
Treat yourself as the prize (No, don't be a pr!ck about it like thinking that you are a god).Originally posted by Contender
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!
I think a huge problem with the majority of people is that they try to understand and figure out what a girl is thinking. Don't try to read into everything that a girl does! Just because she didn't answer your call at 9:34 pm on a Sunday night, or she didn't leave a smiley face at the end of a text message doesn't mean she hates you or likes you or anything... It is completely meaningless. Analyzing a woman's behaviour will create alot more problems than it solves. Don't worry yourself with the jibber-jabberish phone game bullsh*t. Who cares what she thinks of you! Just call her up and take her out. If she doesn't want to go, then no big deal...Originally posted by Craig Reeves
Why doesn't she want to go out with me?
It doesn't matter, and it will be far more trouble than it's worth to find out. All you know is that she doesn't. So.....NEXT!
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
I don't know exactly BUT... I do know this.Originally posted by Contender
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!
One of the properties of "problem solving" is, that you sometimes don't have to understand a problem, in order to solve the problem.Originally posted by Craig Reeves
Why doesn't she want to go out with me?
It doesn't matter, and it will be far more trouble than it's worth to find out. All you know is that she doesn't. So.....NEXT!
Amen brotherNicholas Hill said:I have placed it in the DJB, in its own section.
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Craig Reeves said:When should I make a physical advance?
When she's on a high (the part where she seems to be enjoying you the most.) It is best to make ALL of your moves when she's on a high.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.