You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
I don't think this is a real "newbie questions". I think you misunderstood this girl. I don't think she is playing hard to get. She just wants to get rid of you. But my advice is: if you don't see her often (less than one monthà try at least a few times, so you are sure. If you do see her several times a month: I'd try one last time, and then NEXT HER . Don't waste your time on women that are not interested in you.Originally posted by Jukeboxhero
Really good stuff, man. A very enlightening thread.
I do have one more newbie question to add to the list though. What do you consider doing to "make a move" if she is playing hard to get and/or NOT answering your calls. If I invite some girl to do something I sometimes get "Yes" or "maybe, I'll call you!" usually I never get a call from them and if I have their number and they don't answer their phone, I don't know how else to make a move.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!Originally posted by Craig Reeves
How do I impress a girl?
If your aim is to impress a girl or win her approval, you will never impress her.
Strange, I know. But the best way to impress a girl is to treat her as if YOU are the one that needs to be impressed rather than her. You need to treat her as if she's trying to get YOUR approval instead of YOU trying to get HERS. I know this seems like the complete opposite to what most newbies are taught from their parents or society, but if you want to "impress" a girl, you need to stop trying to impress HER, but start treating HER as if SHE need to impress YOU.
Can anyone answer the aforementioned question?Originally posted by Contender
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!
Treat yourself as the prize (No, don't be a pr!ck about it like thinking that you are a god).Originally posted by Contender
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!
I think a huge problem with the majority of people is that they try to understand and figure out what a girl is thinking. Don't try to read into everything that a girl does! Just because she didn't answer your call at 9:34 pm on a Sunday night, or she didn't leave a smiley face at the end of a text message doesn't mean she hates you or likes you or anything... It is completely meaningless. Analyzing a woman's behaviour will create alot more problems than it solves. Don't worry yourself with the jibber-jabberish phone game bullsh*t. Who cares what she thinks of you! Just call her up and take her out. If she doesn't want to go, then no big deal...Originally posted by Craig Reeves
Why doesn't she want to go out with me?
It doesn't matter, and it will be far more trouble than it's worth to find out. All you know is that she doesn't. So.....NEXT!
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I don't know exactly BUT... I do know this.Originally posted by Contender
How does this work? How does one treat a girl in such a way to give the girl the impression that she needs to impress me?!
One of the properties of "problem solving" is, that you sometimes don't have to understand a problem, in order to solve the problem.Originally posted by Craig Reeves
Why doesn't she want to go out with me?
It doesn't matter, and it will be far more trouble than it's worth to find out. All you know is that she doesn't. So.....NEXT!
Amen brotherNicholas Hill said:I have placed it in the DJB, in its own section.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Craig Reeves said:When should I make a physical advance?
When she's on a high (the part where she seems to be enjoying you the most.) It is best to make ALL of your moves when she's on a high.
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.