"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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most boring date EVER. god, man...

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MascaraSnake

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Well as I said earlier, I'd met this girl elsewhere and gotten the digits. I found her number about a week later and we chatted mostly online before meeting up (she said she wasn't a fan of the phone). Online she was feisty and seemed to give back a lot of the barbs.

Anyway, I met up with her to see a play in downtown (for the record, it was a bad venue for ice-breaking; semi-expensive and I hardly got to talk to her at all between and before acts). Christ. Where did all the agression go? She was so flat I couldn't believe it was the same person. I'll give her this; she was pleasant. But pleasant isn't enough. I want Tracy and Hepburn chemistry.

I won't be calling her again though I did half-heartedly say I would. Made a quick but polite exit and now I'm wondering if people tend to 'give it back' more freely over IM. If that's the case, I'm sticking to the phone from now on.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Max Power

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actually, going to a play was a bad idea for all the reasons you listed. Don't do things where you can't talk on the first date.
 
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MascaraSnake

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Max Power said:
actually, going to a play was a bad idea for all the reasons you listed. Don't do things where you can't talk on the first date.
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Yeah, I won't be making that mistake in the future...
 
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Tear Gas

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a play? wtf dude...should of done something casual like coffee/lunch. You cant even talk during a play
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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BeyondCharm

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A play is actually a good idea as long as its following coffee/lunch/dinner.

You need time to build rapport and get to talking first. I actually took a girl to a play once after dinner but I knew before dinner was finished that we were not going to click. I was going to leave her there actually, and just go to the play on my own but my AFC kicked in and I took her to the play and the night ended with a kiss, her promise to call me and her having a new boyfriend two weeks later.

Moral of the story: Don't take her to the play if dinner sucks.
 
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MascaraSnake

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It looks like my friend's opening set isn't for another few weeks (I got the impression it was sooner).

I'm not too wild about this anymore, but I might just leave her a message saying "concert is a no go until mid-may, hit me up if you want to get together sooner" and not call her again unless she's the one who does it first. I already have another date on Friday anyway (this one's hotter).
 
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BeyondCharm

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Why would you tell her "hit me up if you want to...", you put the ball in her court like a pansy. Stop acting like a wuss. If you want to see her, set things up with her yourself.
 
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MascaraSnake

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BeyondCharm said:
If you want to see her, set things up with her yourself.
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Er, I really don't; thought we covered that. I'm just trying to be polite.
 
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Tear Gas

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what do you want from me *****, you're killing me *****, you're like the boogey man, you're haunting me *****
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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