"You Can't Argue a Woman Into Liking You"

You made your case like a lawyer. Stable job. Good guy. Ready for something real. All true. All irrelevant.

She weighed your points, nodded along, felt nothing — then fell hard for some tattooed bartender with a motorcycle and a gambling problem.

Logic is where attraction goes to die. The "22 Rules" work a level deeper, on the subconscious switches that decide within minutes whether you register as a MAN or as part of the furniture.

Stop presenting evidence. Start flipping switches.

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most boring date EVER. god, man...

MascaraSnake

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Well as I said earlier, I'd met this girl elsewhere and gotten the digits. I found her number about a week later and we chatted mostly online before meeting up (she said she wasn't a fan of the phone). Online she was feisty and seemed to give back a lot of the barbs.

Anyway, I met up with her to see a play in downtown (for the record, it was a bad venue for ice-breaking; semi-expensive and I hardly got to talk to her at all between and before acts). Christ. Where did all the agression go? She was so flat I couldn't believe it was the same person. I'll give her this; she was pleasant. But pleasant isn't enough. I want Tracy and Hepburn chemistry.

I won't be calling her again though I did half-heartedly say I would. Made a quick but polite exit and now I'm wondering if people tend to 'give it back' more freely over IM. If that's the case, I'm sticking to the phone from now on.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Max Power

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actually, going to a play was a bad idea for all the reasons you listed. Don't do things where you can't talk on the first date.
 

MascaraSnake

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Max Power said:
actually, going to a play was a bad idea for all the reasons you listed. Don't do things where you can't talk on the first date.
Yeah, I won't be making that mistake in the future...
 

Tear Gas

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a play? wtf dude...should of done something casual like coffee/lunch. You cant even talk during a play
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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BeyondCharm

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A play is actually a good idea as long as its following coffee/lunch/dinner.

You need time to build rapport and get to talking first. I actually took a girl to a play once after dinner but I knew before dinner was finished that we were not going to click. I was going to leave her there actually, and just go to the play on my own but my AFC kicked in and I took her to the play and the night ended with a kiss, her promise to call me and her having a new boyfriend two weeks later.

Moral of the story: Don't take her to the play if dinner sucks.
 

MascaraSnake

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It looks like my friend's opening set isn't for another few weeks (I got the impression it was sooner).

I'm not too wild about this anymore, but I might just leave her a message saying "concert is a no go until mid-may, hit me up if you want to get together sooner" and not call her again unless she's the one who does it first. I already have another date on Friday anyway (this one's hotter).
 

BeyondCharm

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Why would you tell her "hit me up if you want to...", you put the ball in her court like a pansy. Stop acting like a wuss. If you want to see her, set things up with her yourself.
 

MascaraSnake

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BeyondCharm said:
If you want to see her, set things up with her yourself.
Er, I really don't; thought we covered that. I'm just trying to be polite.
 

Tear Gas

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what do you want from me *****, you're killing me *****, you're like the boogey man, you're haunting me *****
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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