"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Most boneheaded moves . . .

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40quid

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I saw the earlier thread about the best pickup stories. Now, it's come for some comic relief. What is your best story about how you were totally in with a girl, but because of your inexperience/boneheadedness/nerves, you screwed it up?

I'll go first. I was studying in a coffee shop today. This coffee shop has a small indoor area and a huge deck area (two-and-a-half floors) connected to it. This cute undergrad starts talking to me in line for coffee and I do my usual, laid-back, ****y and funny routine, and she's loving it. As we get to the head of the line, she asks me, "so how long are you staying." I respond, "for a while." She says, "so, uh, can I join you?" "Sure, whatever. I'm outside." And with that, I walk right out and sit back to where I was.

She didn't come by. I think that she was wanting me to wait for her, but not even thinking about it, I was so nonchalant that I figured, well, if she wants me enough, she'll find me.

I retrospect, I figured it wouldn't have been too desperate looking to at least wait for her to get her order and walk out together.

Whatever, I have a couple more numbers to go through before I need to find some more.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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E

Eternal

Master Don Juan
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Read "Your Most Obvious Come-On Missed" by Sir_Chancealot in The Archive for more stories.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

Read more...

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