"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Most boneheaded moves . . .

40quid

Don Juan
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I saw the earlier thread about the best pickup stories. Now, it's come for some comic relief. What is your best story about how you were totally in with a girl, but because of your inexperience/boneheadedness/nerves, you screwed it up?

I'll go first. I was studying in a coffee shop today. This coffee shop has a small indoor area and a huge deck area (two-and-a-half floors) connected to it. This cute undergrad starts talking to me in line for coffee and I do my usual, laid-back, ****y and funny routine, and she's loving it. As we get to the head of the line, she asks me, "so how long are you staying." I respond, "for a while." She says, "so, uh, can I join you?" "Sure, whatever. I'm outside." And with that, I walk right out and sit back to where I was.

She didn't come by. I think that she was wanting me to wait for her, but not even thinking about it, I was so nonchalant that I figured, well, if she wants me enough, she'll find me.

I retrospect, I figured it wouldn't have been too desperate looking to at least wait for her to get her order and walk out together.

Whatever, I have a couple more numbers to go through before I need to find some more.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Eternal

Master Don Juan
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Read "Your Most Obvious Come-On Missed" by Sir_Chancealot in The Archive for more stories.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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