I heard something really interesting today. Someone on a radio show said that having meaning in life is more powerful than sex. Why? Because there are people not having sex that are happy. But no one without meaning in life is happy.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
more powerful than sex
- Thread starter speakeasy
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
And there are people having sex who are happier than the ones who are happy and not having sex. States of happiness, just like esoteric notions of a meaningful life, are all relative.
Absolutisms might entertain the talkshow listeners of touchy-feely pop-psychologists radio hosts, but they rarely exist in the real world.
Except for the people who're happy in their understanding that life is essentially meaningless. Or only as full of meaning as we're willing to apply to it.
Absolutisms might entertain the talkshow listeners of touchy-feely pop-psychologists radio hosts, but they rarely exist in the real world.
They may be happy and having sex, but not necessarily because they are having sex. Perhaps for other reasons as well such as a fulfilling life. There are people that have lots of sex and are empty. Particularly true for women.Rollo Tomassi said:
I think everyone yearns for some purpose and meaning. I mean Hitler had a purpose and meaning as devious as it is. Bin Ladin has one, the antiwar protestors have it, the charity worker has one, the mother that wants to raise her kids the right way. I mean I think many people want to reach towards something that is higher or greater than just themselves.
on the happiness scale (1 being low pleasure and 10 being maximum pleasure)...speakeasy said:
masturbation - 5
sex - 7.5
meaingful life - 10
so ....
1) sex alone = 7.5
2) masturbation + meaningful life = 15
3) sex + meaningful life = 17.5
a lot of the feel goodness that most people get from sex is about more than the orgasm, its about feeling 'wanted' or 'desired', its basicaly an ego rush - they feel like 'the prize'.
but people who have a meaningful life feel the like hte prize all the time. sex is just the cherry on the sundae.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
well to be honest sometimes i think wanking off is higher than sex!speakeasy said:
sometimes sex is a pain in the butt (no pun intended).
great sex is great, but a lot of the sex people have (especially married people) is not that much more pleasurable than jacking.
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
True, but the possibility also exists that they may be happy (as per they're own perception of happiness) because they're getting laid just as well. It's not an absolute. You cannot discount the opposite because it doesn't fit your own perception.speakeasy said:
It's like saying money can't buy you happiness, but I still know plenty of happy ass rich people. And how do we know when we're not rich ourselves? It's entirely possible to be happy due to wealth, just as it is to be happy because you're getting laid. A person can find happiness in meditating on the quality of his meaningful life just as easily as a guy can be happy right after he shoots up an 8 ball.
And there are millions more AFCs who are just as empty, looking for any justification they can to rationalize why they're not getting laid - such as devaluing and marginalizing sexuality in a self-righteous attempt to console themsleves about their predicament by claiming some esoteric moral high ground in their celebacy, as if it were a choice they were making rather than a condition they really have little control over.speakeasy said:
Beware of making your necessity a virtue. It rarely leads you to what you're really after.
Luthor Rex
Master Don Juan
speakeasy said:
"Meaning" can drive you to the point of obsession. So yeah.
I'm not trying to poo-poo meaning, but just point out that those asshat highjackers had "meaning" and that drove them to flying airplanes into buildings.
So yeah, meaning can be more powerful than life itself...
CanuckinSK
Don Juan
I'll take self-satisfaction over empty sex any day. Also, whacking IS better than bad sex.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
DrMetallica
Master Don Juan
How is it possible??!!joekerr31 said:
Rollo Tomassi
Master Don Juan
JLR, heheh,..that's one 'o mine.
I've never had meaningless sex. Every girl I've ever ƒucked, I was meaning to ƒuck.
:nervous:
I've never had meaningless sex. Every girl I've ever ƒucked, I was meaning to ƒuck.
:nervous:
What kind of scarcity mentality thread is this?
It's all BS, people!
You can have all three of these things independantly.
Can you be happy without sex and meaning in life? Sure ya can.
Can you have sex without being happy and meaning in life? Sure ya can
Can you have meaning in life without having sex and happyness? Sure ya can (you should meet one of them neurotic emo kids, they're REALLY good at that stuff :crackup
Conclusion: Have all three and don't waste time thinking about BS.
Listen to this man, his words are wise:
It's all BS, people!
You can have all three of these things independantly.
Can you be happy without sex and meaning in life? Sure ya can.
Can you have sex without being happy and meaning in life? Sure ya can
Can you have meaning in life without having sex and happyness? Sure ya can (you should meet one of them neurotic emo kids, they're REALLY good at that stuff :crackup
Conclusion: Have all three and don't waste time thinking about BS.
Sure, dude. Was that before or after he/she mentioned he/she was a virgin/never had a powerful sexual relationship?
Listen to this man, his words are wise:
PS: I know that a life purpose is one of the major keys to a fulfilling life but this is just pure AFC excusing BS.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
:yes: Stole the words right out of my typing finger.
Bonhomme
Master Don Juan
If you want to have a bit of fun, ask such "moral celibates" to rationally explain why it is so moral to not be sexual when "God," "nature," "the Great Spirit," "the force," or whatever they want to call it endowed us with sexuality.
They'll probably start going "humma, humma, humma" like Ralph Kramden in an old Honeymooners episode...
They'll probably start going "humma, humma, humma" like Ralph Kramden in an old Honeymooners episode...
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.