Moral dilemma....opinions.

[ZTIME]

Perhaps shedding some light on this would help. Some of you seem to think differently then I do.

1. It wasn't his date or girlfriend (maybe he thought she could be). He was drinking at the bar (which I go to also), he was texting me and told her he was coming to my place. She asked if he thought I'd mind if she came with since she got off around that time. I've only interacted with her in the business sense that she provides me which a beverage when asked.

2. She was playfully comparing me with the dude's personality in the movie, talking to me throughout the movie, and throwing out the "I have interest" vibe. All while my buddy is pouring alcohol down his throat.

3. She was very infatuated with items around my house (collected through my travels), and asked lots of questions. This is when I knew there could be an issue. However my buddy was passed out in a guest room. Didn't think I needed to try and wake him for his permission.

So yes, at the end of it all I felt like I should tell him, but only because (like a lot of guys here) I was raised with the "I've got dibs", "I saw her first" mentality. This was the basis of my question! Is this the way "man law" works? And should I have told him?

If it was his girlfriend or a true date, I wouldn't have done a thing.

I'll update later what happened. I said I'd tell him and I did. Just wanted to clear the "moral table".

 

[ZTIME]

ZTIME CONFESSES

So, met up with my pal to let him know what went down. To the best of my recollection, here are some overviews.

Me: "girl" was a pretty cool cat, you could of got to know her if you didn't pass out drunk dumba**!

Him: Yeah man I drank a lot. Started drinking at like 4pm. She gave me a ride to your place, guess I should have asked you first, but she's cool. She texted me today asking about you and for your #.

Me: Don't give people my #.

Him: I didn't. What did you guys do after I passed out?

Me: Shot some pool, looked around the house,
Hung out. Cool cat! Kinda fvcked around a bit.

Him: What the fvck did you just say?! What's kind of fvcked around mean??!

Me: Chill out man! You were fvcking passed out in another room. What did you want me to do wake you up and ask for permission?

Him: Dude, I'm the one who brought her there!!
That's fvcked up!! All you and (2 other friends) do is fvck chicks like you don't even care! You guys are fvcked up. I thought she was really cool. (This made me laugh)

Me: #1 she brought you there! #2 you passed out, and #3 She was coming on pretty strong.

Him: I'm just saying I wouldn't do that sh*t to you!

Me: I wouldn't get that drunk. We still friends, or you hate me now??

Him: No, we're fvcking cool, you're just a d*ck!
You fvcking owe me 1!

Me: For what a bartender BJ? I just bought you 3 drinks, were even.

All went well. Still feel bad for my AFC buddy, but he'll never learn. Maybe things should have went down differently in some of your eyes. Maybe I should feel more guilty. And maybe I broke the "I saw her first" law.

At the time, things just happened the way they did.

 

[Tictac]

ZTIME CONFESSES

So, met up with my pal to let him know what went down. To the best of my recollection, here are some overviews.

Me: "girl" was a pretty cool cat, you could of got to know her if you didn't pass out drunk dumba**!

Him: Yeah man I drank a lot. Started drinking at like 4pm. She gave me a ride to your place, guess I should have asked you first, but she's cool. She texted me today asking about you and for your #.

Me: Don't give people my #.

Him: I didn't. What did you guys do after I passed out?

Me: Shot some pool, looked around the house,
Hung out. Cool cat! Kinda fvcked around a bit.

Him: What the fvck did you just say?! What's kind of fvcked around mean??!

Me: Chill out man! You were fvcking passed out in another room. What did you want me to do wake you up and ask for permission?

Him: Dude, I'm the one who brought her there!!
That's fvcked up!! All you and (2 other friends) do is fvck chicks like you don't even care! You guys are fvcked up. I thought she was really cool. (This made me laugh)

Me: #1 she brought you there! #2 you passed out, and #3 She was coming on pretty strong.

Him: I'm just saying I wouldn't do that sh*t to you!

Me: I wouldn't get that drunk. We still friends, or you hate me now??

Him: No, we're fvcking cool, you're just a d*ck!
You fvcking owe me 1!

Me: For what a bartender BJ? I just bought you 3 drinks, were even.

All went well. Still feel bad for my AFC buddy, but he'll never learn. Maybe things should have went down differently in some of your eyes. Maybe I should feel more guilty. And maybe I broke the "I saw her first" law.

At the time, things just happened the way they did.

'Clearing the air' now was a good play.

 

[guru1000]

ZTime, you are a fvcked up friend: You should have offered him a three-some. She would have probably been game too. LOL.

 

[Yewki]

First of all, fvck you for banging your friend's date. You're a 5hitty friend. If she comes on to you, you push her off. If she tries to kiss you, push her away. Your bond with your friends is more important than some cheap slvt. If your friend is remotely an AFC, he probably already sees a future with her.

I agree, his friend put in a lot of effort and prob had high hopes for banging her, OP should have respected that regardless of how weak the dude's game was. He basically put her above his friend.

Glad to hear the friend seemed understanding, but who knows maybe he'll secretly resent the OP for years to come. Could have turned out worse too. Risking a good friendship to bang a chick isn't smart

 

[Billtx49]

I agree, it was a good play. You handled it very well. I am impressed.

 

[yuppaz]

You're a funkin ****ty friend. If he got tons of ass and didn't care then it's not a big deal. But you know he doesn't and you knew he would be butthurt and you still banged her. That's just ****ty. Then you tried to make like you didn't do anything wrong and made light of how ****ty you are to him. He would be right to not hang out with you. He was probably hoping you would help him hookup with her or something... I wouldn't be surprised if you don't hear from him much after that...

 

[MrWood]

she would have banged other dudes if they started dating...
ZTIME saved his friend from a possible heartbreak

 

[ZTIME]

You're a funkin ****ty friend. If he got tons of ass and didn't care then it's not a big deal....

So the moralistic approach would be to make sure he's getting laid on a regular basis, before I think about myself????

As he's passed out in a guest room drunk off of my liquor?? Should I have said to the bartender: "wait before you do this, I'm morally obligated to make sure that sex with my passed out friend is completely off the table."

 

[Reyaj]

This is as cut as dry as this..

If his friend isn't dating the girl she is fair game.

 

[CMNILS87]

Was it even stated that they were even on a date? They came over together, he got plastered like an idiot devaluing himself in front of her and you got ZTime with a house, cool stuff, and a chick that has high interest the moment she walked in the door. His friend didn't even see what was goin on. He may chuckle now and call you a ****, but he'll always resent you cause he's AFC.

You're that one guy that stole his "pseudo-date" and banged her under his drunken nose. Telling him was a good idea, because once she started asking him about your number, he would've known something was up.

 

[ZTIME]

So as a good friend and a guy just trying to get his AFC buddy laid, I decide to take him out to a couple places and play wingman for him. This was a lot harder then I anticipated. This happened in a 2 evening window.

Round 1. We go to a sports bar for a little basketball. Meet waitress. Hb6. 5,8", 127lbs. B cup, long brown hair. Personality=10=ZTIME. We get her to wait on us. She tells us stories, I do most of the rapport building, while asking her if she has any hot friends (for myself of course), she asks what's wrong with her. I reply with "nothing! You're perfect for my friend!" She gets off in 1.5 hours and wants to go hang out.
My friend orders a crap load of shots for them (none for me as I'm the wingman DD), goes ultra AFC......blows it! 2 days later friend request from girl, asking if I'll visit her bar again.

Round 2. Same approach, different bar. Meet girl. Hb7, 5'9", 132lbs, C cup, long black hair, French Canadian, Recently divorced. Conversation for awhile. Direct all comments and convo to my AFC buddy whom remains sober. They seem to hit it off, ZTIME exits and he goes home with her. He said he scored. (Don't know if I believe him or not but that's his story).

Funny thing was, he tells me he gets laid, then tells me: "see, sometimes being nice pays off! She thinks you're a d*ck!"

I guess being a good wingman has a price!

 

[EyeBRollin]

Why would you **** your friend's date? Just cause she lays it out doesn't mean you take it. Bros over hoes. She's always replaceable.

 

[yuppaz]

So the moralistic approach would be to make sure he's getting laid on a regular basis, before I think about myself????

As he's passed out in a guest room drunk off of my liquor?? Should I have said to the bartender: "wait before you do this, I'm morally obligated to make sure that sex with my passed out friend is completely off the table."

Blah blah whatever ass. You know you were being a c*nt so you tried to help him out later. Good on you for doing that and trying to make it up to him. That was a cool friend thing to do for your boy. Ya it royally sucks trying to help your friends out and seeing how bad they blow it, and how helpless they are with women but it's still a classy move.