modified bootcamp

[madgame]

to make a long story short: I need to start a Bootcamp now. However I think I'll skip that eye contact part cause I dont think its a great deal (or maybe do that as often as possible anyways). That's not really the problem I have and I dont think itll help me with overcoming my fear of just saying hi/hello to random people.
Besides I think I might chicken out if I try to do too much at once and do it too freaking fast for me.

So...

week 1 and 2) (hopefully in just one week...I got a cold but cant wait no longer to start. I need to face that fear as soon as possible cause lifes just 2 short)

I'll start by going to a parking lot and ask people if they could change money so I can buy a parking ticket. Stupid as it sounds, I'm gonna do this 50 times (I'll go to a different parking lot soon as I get what I want).

I'm gonna do pretty much the same **** with asking random people for the time - another 50 times, trying to only find and ask hot chicks about my age for the last 10 times, cause that seems more "difficult" to me.


week 3)I'm gonna say "hello" to 50 older people

week 4)I'm gonna say "hi" to 50 chicks without even trying to start a conversation

week 5-8)10 # closes at clubs + still doing some of that other random stuff here and there everyday.

If I get that far I'll feel WAY better about myself and might start setting higher goals for myself (cold approaches for example). I think I'll have better chances of succeeding if I dont set my goals too high in the beginning though.

If ANYONE wants to join in I'd be more than happy!!

peace

 

[diablo]

Originally posted by madgame
I'll start by going to a parking lot and ask people if they could change money so I can buy a parking ticket. Stupid as it sounds, I'm gonna do this 50 times (I'll go to a different parking lot soon as I get what I want)

Might want to figure out a new scenario on that one, guy. You'll likely end up being detained by the police after several people report seeing you at different lots around town...

If doing this modified bootcamp is what it takes to get you to start getting girls, by all means, give it a shot and let us know how it turns out for you.

 

[Ever onward]

You should just do the regular Bootcamp. I didn't the EC exercise would do much for me but after following the program for the first few weeks to the letter, I feel like a new man.

My original goal with BC is to get past week 4. I may modify that once I get there but who knows.

Think it over. The best part about it is you make changes in "baby steps"

 

[madgame]

I guess you're right I should do the real bootcamp but it seems like Im not ready yet. So I'm gonna start by just going to town for like no reason trying to make eye contact with as many people as I can and ask people for the time / to change money. We have lots of different parking lots here btw and if I just get out of the car and ask somebody if they can change money a lot of ppl just make up excuses or well most of the time say they cant without really looking or really cant so I should get to ask a couple of people before osmebody can..so I dont think nobody will call the police on me lol. My problem is that I really have some sort of social phobia and tho I really walk confident and everything its really hard for me to make the approach. Another problem is that I do get enough girls to make EC with me, but I usually look away quickly because I really start shaking on the inside and stuff (hard 2 explain) due to my social phobia. Im gonna see a psychatrist's in about a week or so (finally) and I hope he might put me on some medication (I read there was harmless stuff which helped people with such a shaking-problem due to social phobia that i have). Anyways Im not gonna do a modified bootcamp now but for this week and the next week Im gonna keep on going out everyday (as Ive done so far) and try to get as much EC as possible and hopefully hold it. Plus Im gonna try asking strangers for the time every now and then / asking them if they can change money etc. and get at least on "hi" out to a complete stranger. Hopefully thatll make me less nervous and get me out of my comfortzone. Hopefully Ill be able to start the real bootcamp after that time and get those 50hi's done in a week and move on!

Can somebody sum the bootcamp-weeks up for me tho? Cause I cant read the bible..just wont work..and I dont remember everything from it. thx

 

[Ever onward]

There should be a link to the BC somewhere. I myself printed off all the pages so I have em at home.

I used to have Social Anxiety problems too. I hated being in crowds. I felt isolated from everyone. I was always too afraid to go anywhere because of what other people might think of me.

Up until a week ago, the thought of approaching a woman scared the shyt out of me. In the last week I've gotten 2 numbers from the 3 women that I've asked. It's not that hard. Just don't let the fear control you. It goes away when you get used to it.

But the Bootcamp has paid off. Saying hi to attractive women and having them smile at me has made me feel more attractive. I don't feel isolated from the people I pass by every day. I feel like I matter just as much as everybody I pass by.

As far as the 2nd week of Bootcamp, you make conversation with lots of strangers. I was so nervous the first time I went up to a stranger to start a conversation that it felt like I was going to be asking a girl out (and this was a guy!)

I've gotten better now. I can go up to almost anyone and talk for at least a few minutes. I'm still no great conversationalist or expert at attracting women but I'm getting better and better.

Also the other thing that really helped me with Social Anxiety is taking a speech class. I highly recommend this.

All my life I was scared to death of public speaking and talking to women. Now I don't fear anything.

I feel bulletproof.

 

[Ever onward]

As far as making Eye contact with girls....

I always felt like girls would never make EC with me because I don't look like Brad Pitt. But, the thing is, most people are shy and won't hold your EC.

On the other hand, I've seen lots of girls that will hold my EC until they pass by me and give me warm smiles. Most of the time those girls end up saying hi to me before I say hi to them.

Just get out there and do some EC experiments. It works really good on jogging paths/trails when girls are coming from the other direction.

Also, do the 50 hi's. Say all 50 em to attractive women. Come back a week from now and tell me if you don't feel a hellalot better about yourself.

 

[madgame]

Thx for ur help. That EC-thing is a really big problem for me though. It hasnt always been like that. I mean I had never been the type of person who looked everybody str8 in the eye (hardly anybody does that..) but like five years ago this thing just started and now its like my head is really shaking (on the inside) when I look a stranger in the eyes and they look me back in the eye. Its not always like that but 99% of the time, when im in a real calm mood i guess thats when i dont have this problem or when im a bit tipsy. Ive been trying this eye contact thing (when sober) for a couple of months every now and then and it didnt just go away. But anyways if my social anxiety dissapears this'll dissappear too (cause it doesnt happen when i look ppl who i know in the eyes of course..so its just an expression of crazy nervousness i guess). But anyways since I started this bootcamp-preparation or whatever you wanna call it on monday using every possibility to make changes about my behavior I think ive really gotten a bit more comfortable cause im trying to see this whole problem as a game now. I was at the video store and did some small talk with the video store guy (a couple of days ago I would have just said hi - bye). Not a great change but I hope on monday the week after next week Ill be ready for the 50 bootcamp-his!