"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mmmmmmmmmmmmm...I am feeling like a weeeeee bit of a stalker...

H

harrison9876

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Hey guys...

Trying to connect with a girl I met very briefly in my building last week. It was REAAALY brief...like...enough to get each other's names...but not enough to establish something a bit more solid. No real convo, etc.

Since Friday, I have been keeping an eye out for her, so I can talk to her again.

So far, I noticed the times she heads out to school on Tuesdays and Fridays...which gives me some opportunities to make sure I run into her.

I know that if I don't "specifically" create opportunities to run into her, then I may not see her for a month or two...

But doing so (trying to meet up with her, based on when I know she will be around) feels really weird...

is this normal?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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A

Armourhead

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You're obviously focusing just on this one girl. By focusing on this "one" you are going to develop non-normal behaviours and actions.

If, on the off chance, you do run into her again and she seems creeped out you could always reframe it.

In high school I volunteered at a public library and met a cute blonde there. She wound up going to the same gym as me at the same time, and I was in reserves at the time with her brother (but didn't know it was her brother). She came to visit him at the armory one night and we saw each other. This all occurred in the course of a week. At this point she probably thought I was stalking her or something. I approached her at the armory and we both recognized each other. I playfully bugged her about stalking ME and that she couldn't get enough of me. Got her number and we went on a few dates. Always bugged her about stalking me whenever we ran into each other. Reframe Reframe Reframe.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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H

harrison9876

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gotcha! :up:

So basically...do other things...and the next time I "naturally" run into her...whether it be next week or next month..."then" approach...but not focus on purposefully "trying" to run into her, as it will start me on the path of oneitis.
 
AllDay85

AllDay85

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It's ok to ask her out, you just need to be talking to lots of chicks at once. Like a shotgun shot. A snipe only hits one target.
 
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