"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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mmmmmmmmmmmmm...I am feeling like a weeeeee bit of a stalker...

H

harrison9876

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Hey guys...

Trying to connect with a girl I met very briefly in my building last week. It was REAAALY brief...like...enough to get each other's names...but not enough to establish something a bit more solid. No real convo, etc.

Since Friday, I have been keeping an eye out for her, so I can talk to her again.

So far, I noticed the times she heads out to school on Tuesdays and Fridays...which gives me some opportunities to make sure I run into her.

I know that if I don't "specifically" create opportunities to run into her, then I may not see her for a month or two...

But doing so (trying to meet up with her, based on when I know she will be around) feels really weird...

is this normal?
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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A

Armourhead

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You're obviously focusing just on this one girl. By focusing on this "one" you are going to develop non-normal behaviours and actions.

If, on the off chance, you do run into her again and she seems creeped out you could always reframe it.

In high school I volunteered at a public library and met a cute blonde there. She wound up going to the same gym as me at the same time, and I was in reserves at the time with her brother (but didn't know it was her brother). She came to visit him at the armory one night and we saw each other. This all occurred in the course of a week. At this point she probably thought I was stalking her or something. I approached her at the armory and we both recognized each other. I playfully bugged her about stalking ME and that she couldn't get enough of me. Got her number and we went on a few dates. Always bugged her about stalking me whenever we ran into each other. Reframe Reframe Reframe.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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H

harrison9876

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gotcha! :up:

So basically...do other things...and the next time I "naturally" run into her...whether it be next week or next month..."then" approach...but not focus on purposefully "trying" to run into her, as it will start me on the path of oneitis.
 
AllDay85

AllDay85

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It's ok to ask her out, you just need to be talking to lots of chicks at once. Like a shotgun shot. A snipe only hits one target.
 
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22 Rules for Massive Success With Women
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