The title says it all; I just can’t figure this one out. I’ll try to set it up for you. First, let me say that I’m a naturally confident guy who has never really had a lot of problems with women. I’m in my mid thirties, but still in great shape. What I’m dealing with is an early twenties Scandinavian beauty with a gorgeous face and tight little bod that just won‘t quit. I know her thirst is there and hasn’t faded out, but I can’t wrap my head around what’s actually happening here, maybe it’s something cultural that I just don’t get. When I think I’ve hit a wall and decide to cut my losses and move on, she comes on strong. We have been out together often over the last few weeks, and she is very affectionate in public (and private), she is usually all over me. She comes over to my place to watch movies (usually just the two of us). The lights are down low, she is physically close, usually with her head in my lap or lying on top of me. She can’t keep her hands off me, constantly touching and caressing me. I play it cool and she always initiates heavier petting. Her hands eventually move down to my crotch, and begin stroking me (but always on top of my clothes, at times like this I’m usually wearing sweats or athletic shorts, no underwear). She will pull my hands down to her lower belly or even place them so that I’m cupping a breast. I know what you are thinking, everything is prime right? There is absolutely no possible way to **** this up? But not long after I begin touching her she starts backing off, sometimes even moving my hands away. I think “ok, I’m reading this all wrong”, it’s time to just chill, but then WTF?.. she is pulling my hands back down to her panty line and stroking, sometimes even lightly touching herself. It’s this same cycle over and over during the night… This is crazy, I can literally feel her body tremble at my touch I hear the soft moans and gasps, her heart is racing, the breathing.. it’s all there. I can see she is very into it! This has happened four times over the last two weeks, so I’m pretty sure it isn’t just bad timing with her period. Anyone with experience dating Scandinavian girls come across anything like this? What's your impression of whats happening? I don't get the impression she is inexperienced, could she be scared?
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mixed signals
- Thread starter TheMark1
- Start date
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
B
BeDJ
Guest
You left out the only piece of information we give a sh*t about.
What happened when you tried to escalate?
What happened when you tried to escalate?
Unfortunately thats about all there is to tell. In four night's time I probably haven't spent more than thirty seconds (at a time) in her pants. She pulls my hand away. It goes on longer when the contact is through her clothes or panties, but even then five minutes at the most. Just long enough to get her going.. often she pulls away when she seems to be enjoying it most. It's like a four or five hour middle school makeout session. A moment or two later she guides my hand back again only to shut me down again and again. It's a vicious cycle. Its strange, yet she is clearly excited and keeps coming back.. the more I think about it the more I wonder if inexperience might not be a bigger factor than I thought.
Harry Wilmington
Master Don Juan
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Ugh, you got a teaser on your hands.
Teasers are frustrating 'cause they get you all revved up, only to have nothing happen. My advice: next time that starts happening, when she's pulling your hand towards her crouch area and starts rubbing... stop her, pull her towards you and try to kiss her. Then start pulling down her shirt. If she tries to stop you, get up, turn the lights on and say "well, I've got a big day tomorrow, I think you'd better go."
If she starts asking questions, just be like "well, I'd like to continue what we're doing, but if you're not up for it then you should go." Real talk, cut that shiznit out NOW, otherwise she'll always be the one controlling when and how sex occurs in the relationship. I've been there, and it ain't worth it.
Teasers are frustrating 'cause they get you all revved up, only to have nothing happen. My advice: next time that starts happening, when she's pulling your hand towards her crouch area and starts rubbing... stop her, pull her towards you and try to kiss her. Then start pulling down her shirt. If she tries to stop you, get up, turn the lights on and say "well, I've got a big day tomorrow, I think you'd better go."
If she starts asking questions, just be like "well, I'd like to continue what we're doing, but if you're not up for it then you should go." Real talk, cut that shiznit out NOW, otherwise she'll always be the one controlling when and how sex occurs in the relationship. I've been there, and it ain't worth it.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Ok, your keyword here is 'Dominant'!
When she starts all that up again. Let it go for a little while, then just say "Right then!" Then you pick her up, throw her over your shoulder and walk off towards the bedroom. Drop her on the bed and go for it.
You'll get a few token refusals... (I've given you some responses here)
"I need to go home"... "No you don't"
"I'm not sure about this"... "You'll be fine"
"This isn't the right time"... "Yes it is"
You'll either score and be putting a success FR up here soon,
or
You'll be able to tell if she's really not into it, you'll see a look of panic there. If that's the case, just apologise saying "Sorry, looks like I've misread your signals here, won't EVER happen again. I should take you home." Let her go home, then go NC.
When she starts all that up again. Let it go for a little while, then just say "Right then!" Then you pick her up, throw her over your shoulder and walk off towards the bedroom. Drop her on the bed and go for it.
You'll get a few token refusals... (I've given you some responses here)
"I need to go home"... "No you don't"
"I'm not sure about this"... "You'll be fine"
"This isn't the right time"... "Yes it is"
You'll either score and be putting a success FR up here soon,
or
You'll be able to tell if she's really not into it, you'll see a look of panic there. If that's the case, just apologise saying "Sorry, looks like I've misread your signals here, won't EVER happen again. I should take you home." Let her go home, then go NC.