Mixed signals - Women!

[drellum]

Getting mixed up signals from a girl I've been seeing for a few weeks.
We are both relatively new out of LTR's....her's more messy than mine.

We seemed to be getting on fine and decided to go away together for a few days.
We had a good time while we were away. We talked about maybe doing future trips and other activities when we got home, things were looking positive.

Since we got back she seems quite distant and doesn't seem as though she wants to instigate communications.

What would be your reading of this? She hasn't said that she is not interested in taking it any further or whatever else she wants.

Either way, we've only been dating for a few weeks so no real bonds formed.
Just seems a bit strange.

D

 

[seethehoop]

When you went away did you sleep with her? If you didn't do the deed or even try to escalate she may be shutting down. If you didn't escalate she may feel rejected so she will put up a shield so she doesn't have to feel that rejection. The main defensive action of this shield is to shut you out thus rejecting you. At this point it may be done with. Best action is no action. Don't chase her. Don't ask her about it. Leave her for a week see if she starts up a convo then start again. Build more attraction and make sure you escalate.

 

[drellum]

When you went away did you sleep with her? If you didn't do the deed or even try to escalate she may be shutting down. If you didn't escalate she may feel rejected so she will put up a shield so she doesn't have to feel that rejection. The main defensive action of this shield is to shut you out thus rejecting you. At this point it may be done with. Best action is no action. Don't chase her. Don't ask her about it. Leave her for a week see if she starts up a convo then start again. Build more attraction and make sure you escalate.

Thanks for the reply.

We had agreed in advance that we would wait for a while to sleep together (her request) So that was no surprise.

Yeah, I'm going to leave it now and see what happens.

Must admit, at this moment in time it feels dead.

Onwards and upwards!

 

[seethehoop]

From what I can gather, when a women says she wants to wait she means she doesn't want to feel like she is easy. Best way to deal with that is to continue to escalate but demonstrate that you are trust worthy and won't go bragging about it being a conquest. I don't think you have done anything major jus make sure you act in the right manner moving forward.

Leave her a bit but when you do talk again find some way to show her you can keep her dignity intact, maybe tell her something about how you kept a secret safe. Also build some rapport with her, give her some emotional anchors to you. Read up on some pua telling then find some of your own. Weave in some anchors to pull her in by relating emotions she has told you about. If you want some examples let me know.

 

[drellum]

good advice man - Thanks!

When you say an Anchor - do you mean something personal from me to her?
I did that before we left and it went down quite well!

I suspect that there maybe some emotional issues here that are not revealed re: her last relationship.

Is it possible she is reviewing the break and assessing the potential to move forward?

D

 

[seethehoop]

An emotional anchor would be giving her something she can relate to on an emotional level. Eg she tells you a childhood story about something dear to her, you then tell her something similar so that she can relate those same feelings to you.

You can then raise those emotional triggers which will spike her emotional response to you. use positive emotions first though, feelings such as excitement, euphoria, security etc.

She will then feel like you understand her when all you are really doing is relaying her own emotional triggers back to her.

 

[nismo-4]

Mixed signals means little to no interest.

You just need to go ghost. And your princess is highly likely in another castle. And the attraction, beyond a reasonable doubt, is not there. I know that's not what you want to hear, but reality bites.

Moving on is the best thing that is for you. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed.

 

[drellum]

Mixed signals means little to no interest.

You just need to go ghost. And your princess is highly likely in another castle. And the attraction, beyond a reasonable doubt, is not there. I know that's not what you want to hear, but reality bites.

Moving on is the best thing that is for you. Judge nismo's ruling.

Case closed.

:-D haha. I think so too!

D

 

[Pimp-sicle]

We had agreed in advance that we would wait for a while to sleep together (her request) So that was no surprise.

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3

Any woman who makes you wait for sex, or by her actions implies she is making you wait for sex; the sex is NEVER worth the wait.

When women make you wait for sex you are not their highest priority. Sexuality is spontaneous chemical reaction between two parties, not a process of negotiation. It's sex first, then relationship, not the other way around. A woman who wants to fukk you will fly across the country, crawl under barbwire, climb in through your second story bedroom window, ƒuck the sh!t out of you and wait patiently inside your closet if your wife comes home early from work - women who want to ƒuck will find a way to ƒuck. The girl who tells you she wants a relationship first is the same girl who fukked the hot guy in the foam cannon party in Cancun on spring break half an hour after meeting him.

If a girl is that into you she'll ƒuck regardless of ASD or having her friends in the room videotaping it at a frat party. All women can be sluts, you just have to be the right guy to bring it out in them, and this happens before you go back to her place. If you have to plead your case cuddling and spooning on the bed or getting the occasional peck on the cheek, you need to go back to square one and start fresh.

--------------


As it says, you don't negotiate when your going to phuck each other like its a vacation. This is a biological reaction when you feel attraction; its either there or it isn't there.

If she makes you wait, there is likely another guy in her line up ahead of you on the priority list.

Secondly, what are you thinking taking a weekend trip together after you JUST starting seeing this chick??

It looks like YOU think the trip went very well; while its pretty obvious by her actions (or inaction since the trip) that she didn't have that great of a time at all.)

As the others have said, completely shut her out for a bit and see what happens.

Don't make these rookie mistakes next time and DON'T agree to not sleep with a girl unless you want to be viewed as a girl.






PIMP

 

[drellum]

Iron Rule of Tomassi #3
Secondly, what are you thinking taking a weekend trip together after you JUST starting seeing this chick??

SHE ASKED ME...I said yeah, why not.

Why was it an issue to go away so soon?

I pretty much go with the flow most of the time but wasn't contemplating an emotional can of worms

 

[Purefilth]

SHE ASKED ME...I said yeah, why not.

Why was it an issue to go away so soon?

I pretty much go with the flow most of the time but wasn't contemplating an emotional can of worms

So don't go with the flow, step up and lead. Be a man!

Sorry to be blunt.

 

[mikey2012]

SHE ASKED ME...I said yeah, why not.

Why was it an issue to go away so soon?

I pretty much go with the flow most of the time but wasn't contemplating an emotional can of worms

Beta

 

[drellum]

Beta

Should i have said no?

 

[Purefilth]

Should i have said no?

You could've countered, and suggested an alternative like a day at a theme park or smth.
Then you're in control, and you have fun and she has fun and you don't end up going away for a weekend so soon into the relationship.

Just a suggestion, but that's hindsight for you, concentrate on what you CAN do now.

 

[bigneil]

Mixed Signals = Bad Signs.

 

[Bible_Belt]

We had agreed in advance that we would wait for a while to sleep together (her request)

It was a test. You failed. That's why she lost interest. You're supposed to get so swept away by your feelings for her that you lose control and break the agreement by making passionate love to her. By female logic, that would mean she's not a slvt. I would guess that she got this idea from a book, movie, or tv show and she subjects every new guy to the same test.

 

[bigneil]

Even when a girl is about to dump you, they usually will have sex on the last date. If they don't you have SERIOUS problems.