"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Mixed signals.. advice?

dap

Senior Don Juan
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As background, this girl goes to college with me and I am going to describe encounters I've had with her over about 6 months. She wasn't a target for most of this time until recently.

I have pretty good social proof at my school, and I do a good job of being funny and a little ****y when around people at my school, and am sure that this girl (Girl X) has noticed.

Anyway, after knowing Girl X for a few months (remember, she wasn't a target during this time), we ended up at the same club. We were in a big group and there was lots of dancing/grinding, etc. I was grinding with a few girls, but kept noticing that girl X would dance near me, but would never really initiate grinding. Interestingly, the friend she was with (another girl) would dance with me trying to show girl X not to be shy, and she would pull girl X towards me, trying to get us to grind. The message I was getting from girl X's friend was "girl X likes you but is too shy!" Well, we never really danced that night, I had other targets I was working, but I saw her later that night sitting kinda lonely looking outside the dance floor (not talking to anyone, etc).

So, a month passes and I'm doing my thing, working other girls, etc. We end up going to vacation together (miami) in a big group, and I give her my phone number and she says she'll call me the next day and we will find something fun to do. Well, she doesn't call. But, I see her that night anyway at a club. There, we grind really heavily (lots of petting, etc - we were both pretty intoxicated). She backs off at certain points and so I decide I don't want to seem needy, so I start grinding with one of her friends and a few other girls at the club. Girl X presumably gets jealous and pulls me back towards her (although she grinds with a few other guys during this time too). This happens a few times at least. However, she keeps ending the grinding early and I ask her "what's wrong" and she just laughs and this all repeats a few times (she leaves, I start dancing with other people, she pulls me back in). Eventually, I just quit dancing with her all together and focused on her friend. The next day, friends of mine basically say: "wow, you and girl X were really going at it last night," etc.

We see each other again over the next few days, exchange really lame/dry text messages ("whats going on tonight," etc), but she seems much colder than before. I would talk to her and her friends, and she would stare at her phone. She avoided eye contact and would'nt show typical IOIs like laughing at my jokes or asking me questions, etc. Anyway, the spark wasn't there anymore (which could just be because we were sober), but I still wonder whether this girl is interested in me. She's very hot (9 or 10), has a reputation of being a b1tch to some of the other guys I know, and while I don't have oneitis for her, I do think she is dateable.

What do you guys think? Were there any IOIs here or am I reading too much into this? Is she just playing hard to get so she doesn't appear to easy from the night at the club? I'm sure I made plenty of mistakes here, but rather than pointing these out, let me know what I should do going forward. I really appreciate all the advice you guys give on these forums, a lot of you have a great deal of experience with this stuff. Thanks!
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Scion

Master Don Juan
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Have you tried asking her out? If you haven't then do that and if she likes you she'll jump at the chance. And if she doesn't jump at the chance then she doesn't like you. Girls are simple.
 

dap

Senior Don Juan
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so..... you guys seem to disagree. Should I ask her out or should I wait until I get better/more consistent IOIs? Do girls ever give consistent IOIs?
 

“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”

Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.

Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers.  Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.

I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.

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Kailex

Master Don Juan
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The only IOI that matters is whether she says YES or NO to you asking her out.

Ask her out and stop wasting your time trying to see whether she likes you or not because of a few IOI's.
 
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