"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Mixed signals.. advice?

dap

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As background, this girl goes to college with me and I am going to describe encounters I've had with her over about 6 months. She wasn't a target for most of this time until recently.

I have pretty good social proof at my school, and I do a good job of being funny and a little ****y when around people at my school, and am sure that this girl (Girl X) has noticed.

Anyway, after knowing Girl X for a few months (remember, she wasn't a target during this time), we ended up at the same club. We were in a big group and there was lots of dancing/grinding, etc. I was grinding with a few girls, but kept noticing that girl X would dance near me, but would never really initiate grinding. Interestingly, the friend she was with (another girl) would dance with me trying to show girl X not to be shy, and she would pull girl X towards me, trying to get us to grind. The message I was getting from girl X's friend was "girl X likes you but is too shy!" Well, we never really danced that night, I had other targets I was working, but I saw her later that night sitting kinda lonely looking outside the dance floor (not talking to anyone, etc).

So, a month passes and I'm doing my thing, working other girls, etc. We end up going to vacation together (miami) in a big group, and I give her my phone number and she says she'll call me the next day and we will find something fun to do. Well, she doesn't call. But, I see her that night anyway at a club. There, we grind really heavily (lots of petting, etc - we were both pretty intoxicated). She backs off at certain points and so I decide I don't want to seem needy, so I start grinding with one of her friends and a few other girls at the club. Girl X presumably gets jealous and pulls me back towards her (although she grinds with a few other guys during this time too). This happens a few times at least. However, she keeps ending the grinding early and I ask her "what's wrong" and she just laughs and this all repeats a few times (she leaves, I start dancing with other people, she pulls me back in). Eventually, I just quit dancing with her all together and focused on her friend. The next day, friends of mine basically say: "wow, you and girl X were really going at it last night," etc.

We see each other again over the next few days, exchange really lame/dry text messages ("whats going on tonight," etc), but she seems much colder than before. I would talk to her and her friends, and she would stare at her phone. She avoided eye contact and would'nt show typical IOIs like laughing at my jokes or asking me questions, etc. Anyway, the spark wasn't there anymore (which could just be because we were sober), but I still wonder whether this girl is interested in me. She's very hot (9 or 10), has a reputation of being a b1tch to some of the other guys I know, and while I don't have oneitis for her, I do think she is dateable.

What do you guys think? Were there any IOIs here or am I reading too much into this? Is she just playing hard to get so she doesn't appear to easy from the night at the club? I'm sure I made plenty of mistakes here, but rather than pointing these out, let me know what I should do going forward. I really appreciate all the advice you guys give on these forums, a lot of you have a great deal of experience with this stuff. Thanks!
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Scion

Master Don Juan
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Have you tried asking her out? If you haven't then do that and if she likes you she'll jump at the chance. And if she doesn't jump at the chance then she doesn't like you. Girls are simple.
 

dap

Senior Don Juan
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so..... you guys seem to disagree. Should I ask her out or should I wait until I get better/more consistent IOIs? Do girls ever give consistent IOIs?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Kailex

Master Don Juan
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The only IOI that matters is whether she says YES or NO to you asking her out.

Ask her out and stop wasting your time trying to see whether she likes you or not because of a few IOI's.
 
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