"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Mixed signals.. advice?

dap

Senior Don Juan
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As background, this girl goes to college with me and I am going to describe encounters I've had with her over about 6 months. She wasn't a target for most of this time until recently.

I have pretty good social proof at my school, and I do a good job of being funny and a little ****y when around people at my school, and am sure that this girl (Girl X) has noticed.

Anyway, after knowing Girl X for a few months (remember, she wasn't a target during this time), we ended up at the same club. We were in a big group and there was lots of dancing/grinding, etc. I was grinding with a few girls, but kept noticing that girl X would dance near me, but would never really initiate grinding. Interestingly, the friend she was with (another girl) would dance with me trying to show girl X not to be shy, and she would pull girl X towards me, trying to get us to grind. The message I was getting from girl X's friend was "girl X likes you but is too shy!" Well, we never really danced that night, I had other targets I was working, but I saw her later that night sitting kinda lonely looking outside the dance floor (not talking to anyone, etc).

So, a month passes and I'm doing my thing, working other girls, etc. We end up going to vacation together (miami) in a big group, and I give her my phone number and she says she'll call me the next day and we will find something fun to do. Well, she doesn't call. But, I see her that night anyway at a club. There, we grind really heavily (lots of petting, etc - we were both pretty intoxicated). She backs off at certain points and so I decide I don't want to seem needy, so I start grinding with one of her friends and a few other girls at the club. Girl X presumably gets jealous and pulls me back towards her (although she grinds with a few other guys during this time too). This happens a few times at least. However, she keeps ending the grinding early and I ask her "what's wrong" and she just laughs and this all repeats a few times (she leaves, I start dancing with other people, she pulls me back in). Eventually, I just quit dancing with her all together and focused on her friend. The next day, friends of mine basically say: "wow, you and girl X were really going at it last night," etc.

We see each other again over the next few days, exchange really lame/dry text messages ("whats going on tonight," etc), but she seems much colder than before. I would talk to her and her friends, and she would stare at her phone. She avoided eye contact and would'nt show typical IOIs like laughing at my jokes or asking me questions, etc. Anyway, the spark wasn't there anymore (which could just be because we were sober), but I still wonder whether this girl is interested in me. She's very hot (9 or 10), has a reputation of being a b1tch to some of the other guys I know, and while I don't have oneitis for her, I do think she is dateable.

What do you guys think? Were there any IOIs here or am I reading too much into this? Is she just playing hard to get so she doesn't appear to easy from the night at the club? I'm sure I made plenty of mistakes here, but rather than pointing these out, let me know what I should do going forward. I really appreciate all the advice you guys give on these forums, a lot of you have a great deal of experience with this stuff. Thanks!
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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Scion

Master Don Juan
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Have you tried asking her out? If you haven't then do that and if she likes you she'll jump at the chance. And if she doesn't jump at the chance then she doesn't like you. Girls are simple.
 

dap

Senior Don Juan
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so..... you guys seem to disagree. Should I ask her out or should I wait until I get better/more consistent IOIs? Do girls ever give consistent IOIs?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Kailex

Master Don Juan
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The only IOI that matters is whether she says YES or NO to you asking her out.

Ask her out and stop wasting your time trying to see whether she likes you or not because of a few IOI's.
 
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