"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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mixed messages

Atldude

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so this girl i have been talking to, now all of a sudden seems distant... anyways, i chatted with her online... and we just went thru some chitty chat stuff... so i told her i would call her tomorrow and she says she is out all day tomorrow. I am thinking about asking her point blank "Do you want to keep talking and see where things go? or do you just want things to be friendly"?

am i already screwed or it's not worth asking...

regards
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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In2theGame

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Atldude said:
so this girl i have been talking to
Right there is the problem. Youve been talking too much. try to get her into a sexual state and you will see how distant she gets :D Probably a really close distance. :up:
 

Nightwing

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Atldude said:
so this girl i have been talking to, now all of a sudden seems distant... anyways, i chatted with her online... and we just went thru some chitty chat stuff... so i told her i would call her tomorrow and she says she is out all day tomorrow. I am thinking about asking her point blank "Do you want to keep talking and see where things go? or do you just want things to be friendly"?

am i already screwed or it's not worth asking...

regards
Don't ask her no stuff like that, you sound like a chick.

Understand this,

MIXED MESSAGES=SHE'S NOT INTERESTED
 

fbplayer06

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Nightwing said:
Don't ask her no stuff like that, you sound like a chick.
I agree. Imagine asking her that question: regardless of how she responds, do you really expect there to be no awkwardness after you find out where you two stand? If she says she's serious, *and tells you this*, what then? I think it's better for this feeling to develop "under the radar" without either person blatantly telling the other that it's happening.

If she answers with "Let's just be friends," :)nervous:), you're really no worse off then you are now.

Whatever happens, good luck man.
 

thegenerousjew

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Don't talk to a chick everyday. Unless she's your sister and you're fond of her [Maybe not even then :)]

Anyway seriously, let her miss you a bit. If she knows you want to talk to her all the time she's obviously going to lose interest.
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

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Serialized3

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Nightwing said:
MIXED MESSAGES=SHE'S NOT INTERESTED
I don't think that's always the case. Sometimes she'll give you mixed messages because she's testing you (which is a good thing), or because she simply doesn't know how to act due to inexperience or 'intimidation', which is also a good thing.
 

Nightwing

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Serialized3 said:
I don't think that's always the case. Sometimes she'll give you mixed messages because she's testing you (which is a good thing), or because she simply doesn't know how to act due to inexperience or 'intimidation', which is also a good thing.
Maybe so, but the question is, do you really want to waste your time deciphering what she's trying to say??

From my experiences, chicks telling you they are busy and acting distant is generally a sign for not being interested. Instead of trying to break her barrier, it's best to move on and pull out another chick in your roster.
 

Serialized3

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Nightwing said:
Maybe so, but the question is, do you really want to waste your time deciphering what she's trying to say??

From my experiences, chicks telling you they are busy and acting distant is generally a sign for not being interested. Instead of trying to break her barrier, it's best to move on and pull out another chick in your roster.
Right, it's always a good idea to pursue the girls with the higher interest levels ahead of the girls sending mixed messages, but what I was just trying to point out was that mixed messages aren't necessarily always a bad thing.
 

Nightwing

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Serialized3 said:
Right, it's always a good idea to pursue the girls with the higher interest levels ahead of the girls sending mixed messages, but what I was just trying to point out was that mixed messages aren't necessarily always a bad thing.
I feel ya bro, seriously :up:

I just have a thing about that subject and have a low tolerance for it.
 

Serialized3

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Nightwing said:
I feel ya bro, seriously :up:

I just have a thing about that subject and have a low tolerance for it.
:up: Ya I feel ya too man, I have prospects so that I just passive game broads that play games like that and go after the ones that aren't doing this. Gotta keep your options open though, and shy chicks are still chicks.

Good advice for the noobs though
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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FurryFriend

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Serialized3 said:
I don't think that's always the case. Sometimes she'll give you mixed messages because she's testing you (which is a good thing), or because she simply doesn't know how to act due to inexperience or 'intimidation', which is also a good thing.
Exactly.

Also, attraction creates tension. Tension creates inconsistant behavior that comes off as "mixed signals"

If a girl is 100% consistant, she probably doesn't like you and think of you only as a friend.

A lot of you wannabe DJs should drop the notion that a girl has to be into you 100% of the time. That's stupid.
 

Nightwing

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FurryFriend said:
If a girl is 100% consistant, she probably doesn't like you and think of you only as a friend.
No, that just means you know where she stands. That's whether she likes you or not.
 

Rollo Tomassi

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There is no such thing as mixed messages, only misinterpretations. A woman will tell you exactly what she means, you just need to be able to understand how she's communicating it to you.

Now, what is this girl's behavior telling you?
 

Atldude

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i am out

i am 99.99% sure i am out... she hasn't called or im'd me since... so when we started talking we talked for 5 mins/ day for about 3/4 days... then about this last monday all communication kinda slowed down.... and i asked her about tue after she kept running on me whether she was avoiding me... she denied it... and she said she was busy... yadda yadda... and then yesterday when i told her i would call her today, she mentioned she would be out all day... it's pretty obvious that she aint interested anymore... i just wanted to be sure...

what do you guys think?
 

Nightwing

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Atldude said:
i am 99.99% sure i am out... she hasn't called or im'd me since... so when we started talking we talked for 5 mins/ day for about 3/4 days... then about this last monday all communication kinda slowed down.... and i asked her about tue after she kept running on me whether she was avoiding me... she denied it... and she said she was busy... yadda yadda... and then yesterday when i told her i would call her today, she mentioned she would be out all day... it's pretty obvious that she aint interested anymore... i just wanted to be sure...

what do you guys think?
NOT INTERESTED
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

Read more...

Atldude

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any chance of getting her back?

if i lay low and not initiate contact any chance of raising her interest level.. or once goner always a goner?
 

Nightwing

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Atldude said:
if i lay low and not initiate contact any chance of raising her interest level.. or once goner always a goner?
Dude, you're fighting an uphill battle that you're not going to win. And even if you do get somewhere with your efforts, is it really worth spending all that energy??? You're better off moving on and hooking up with another chick--there's plenty of other chicks out there that you don't have to focus on just one.
 

Atldude

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Latest Status

So this chick that kinda went cold... now starts messaging me again.. and i will be in her city in canada in about 3-4 weeks and i ask if she's gonna be around... and she says.. she should be and that we should get together for coffee/dinner... should i go for it.. or is she just yanking my chain...

i may give her a last chance and lay the cards on the table as in... "don't like to play games.. you are either interested or not.. decide... and i am looking for something long term, etc..."

what do you guys think?
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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