Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Misunderstood?

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
Today, I learned that I am sometimes "misunderstood" when I first meet/work with people at my job, but that over time, things smooth out and everything turns out good. I work at a rather large-sized company, and my best friend from work suggested the possibility to me after a recent incident.

Earlier this week, I was working a project, but collaborate with a couple of other people who are working on their own projects as well. Being from a bustling northeast city, I tend to work at a very quick pace. I'm professional, don't yell or curse - actually, I'm rather calm - but I want my assignments wrapped up quickly and not hastily put together at the last minute.

Back to the story: my work style somehow offended the two other peers (who I'm no better or worse than), even though I didn't do anything "wrong." My supervisors know me well and said they're fans of how I operate, but said some peers who don't know me as well won't like it. Co-worker #1 did not like that I suggested a minor tweak to their assignment (which helped) while co-worker #2 - who was stressed anyway - feared that a time-saving technique I was using for my own assignment would, in turn, slow her down (had no effect). Both of these people are consider to have tough-skin too.

I quickly spoke to both of the co-workers today and they said everything is good. I asked my close friend about this type of situation, and he says I can be misunderstood at first by certain people (and immediately accepted by others, including him), but didn't go into detail. One supervisor who holds me in high regard apparently hated me at first, until he got to know me better.

First, how does one even become misunderstood? I'm an outgoing guy who's nice enough and keeps people loose around the office, so it's not me being a pr*ck (though being outgoing might create more of an outside opinion). However, my fast-paced work style isn't approved by everyone and appears to be causing a divide.
 

Tell her a little about yourself, but not too much. Maintain some mystery. Give her something to think about and wonder about when she's at home.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Stort_Brød

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 24, 2013
Messages
257
Reaction score
8
Location
NSW Australia
People often perceive their way of doing something as the best way and when someone suggests otherwise they can't see past their own pride to admit that the other is right. This happens frequently also a lot of folks are just stuck in doing things their way so why should they change for someone else. Also if you are very "outgoing" people can feel threatened by this if they are somewhat introverted as they are not overly used to interacting with such a personality. Another theory is that your efficiency can seem imposing on others work style as if you were trying to show them up somehow, now that's not to say you were but that sort of thing can sour a guys opinion of another bloke. People view others in many different ways and sometimes a first impression was misread.

either that or you are just an A$$HOLE haha
 

The LadyKiller

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Oct 5, 2011
Messages
409
Reaction score
25
Stort_Brød said:
Another theory is that your efficiency can seem imposing on others work style as if you were trying to show them up somehow, now that's not to say you were but that sort of thing can sour a guys opinion of another bloke. People view others in many different ways and sometimes a first impression was misread.
I think this was it. Especially with co-worker #2. In neither case was I trying to show anyone up, despite how it looked. My goal was to help myself AND help them in the easiest way possible. My supervisors seem to know my motive, but my co-workers in this case did not. Irregular for anyone - let alone 2 people - to complain. Especially if they were both 100% over it the next day.
 

The_flying_dutchman

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Apr 3, 2006
Messages
354
Reaction score
42
To a certain extent, everyone is misunderstood in some areas of life, although some people tend to endure it more frequently and with more intensity than others.

When people misunderstand you, it probably because they've never encountered anyone like you. You don't seem to fit any kind of mold, or perhaps your personality is different than what they're accustomed to. The natural response for this is to get a bit defensive around you. Over time however they'll get used to you and open up.

From what I've noticed, the only people whom never seem to be misunderstood are the ones that don't exhibit any drive or ambition in life, opting instead move at a steady, slow, and mellow pace. These types are not prone to misconception because they don't appear to be threatening, while people who are ambitious have an aura of agressiveness that makes people uneasy.

Not saying that you're that you're the aggressive type, but perhaps you're drive to get things done quickly could be perceived as causing a commotion. Over time, I believe people will see that you're a good guy and not a threat to them.
 

Cieg

New Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2013
Messages
8
Reaction score
0
That's why we have this quote 'do not judge the book by its cover' right? Well congrats. :D
 
Top