Missing pieces from my game

[d9930380]

What a surprise! - She was clueless about how to play mini-golf and let you teach her needing you to rap your arms around her ;-)

Why did you not go for a tickle, a cuddle and then thow the lips on her.

Make a move!

 

[Latinoman]

For the past three weeks I've been spinning 3 to 6 plates at a time, dating a load of women. My schedule is jammed full, almost beyond my capacity to manage it. Unfortunately, I'm getting friendzoned a lot.

....

Generating attraction is the hardest thing in the world.

Those two things clearly illustrate, in my opinion, the problem.

You are going to a lot of dates [which is GOOD].
But you are going to dates with the purpose of generating attraction.

What is that telling me? That you are dating women that you find attractive, but they might not find attractive yet. I NEVER date a woman, unless I'm certain she has attraction for me.

Going to dates is something that many women do for "fun" (e.g. free meals, a good laugh, or having somebody to just sit back and TALK). A way to make FRIENDS. Yep, false advertisement!

 

[Latinoman]

By the way...are you "meeting" all those women in the Internet?

EDIT: Never mind...I read the rest of the thread.

 

[Latinoman]

Yea, so fix your date plan. Fcuk the ice cream and get the b!tch to your place, fast. The most I'll do is take a b!tch to Dairy Queen, get her a blizzard and it's off to my place to "hang out". Get it?

Man, I was like you. I did everything I saw the guys do in the movies for a date and none of it worked. I don't know any player guys who really go on "dates". They tell me the less they spend on a girl the more likely she is to put out. Maybe you should just skip the dinner and have her meet at your place. Guage her interest and go from there.

**get them to your place to guage interest. If none is there, end the date quickly and watch some internet porn or something lol.

EXACTLY. I personally NEVER wasted times with dates unless we were already intimate (sex or kissing). Which means, I either ended up going to their house, etc. "Dates" can come AFTER.

 

[RedPill]

Let's put a new twist on the old saying "Familiarity breeds contempt" and change it to "Familiarity breeds consent!" By the way, I ended up spending the night at her house two nights in a row.

Two thumbs up to that whole post. The above line in particular.

 

[MisterAl]

I've taken the time to absorb all these extremely helpful replies and re-read parts of the DJ Bible. This thread contains some of the best personal advice for me I've ever read here and has forced me to evaluate and make improvements.

I'm getting more aggressive with making moves, the kind of stuff that got me girlfriends in the past. I got real friendly with High IL Girl tonight because I stepped it up when I wasn't sure she'd be totally receptive. She was. I think I could have pushed for more but everything went perfectly tonight as it was. I'm aiming for a relationship with this one. Smell her neck, kids. This chick is shy and had no idea what I was doing but she responded to it.

Interesting that I had a conversation with my sister (she's 30) the other day and I asked her what she does when she wants a guy to make out with her. She's pretty obvious and usually makes it pretty clear what she wants from a guy, but she said without coaching that she leans into a guy so he can smell her neck. She knows what she wants.

Fvck generating attraction. Changing focus to maintaining and growing IL. Fortunately for me this leaves me with 3 or 4 ladies with good IL to continue with.

What's clear to me is that having a couple horrible years professionally, emotionally and physically has really cut into my self-esteem and caused me to think negatively about my possibilities. In the past I had been good at relationships but lately figured that nobody would want anything to do with a loser like me. The last two weeks have taught I was wrong.

Important on the self-esteem front: I'm putting a lot of work into making new friendships and I made huge progress this weekend. I use online activity planning groups to meet people and over the weekend I hung out with a group that really welcomed me into their circle. I've needed a new circle for a long time, at least since my old friends starting marrying or moving away.

I was supposed to skydive with these people Saturday but the weather didn't allow it. I decided to skydive specifically to step outside my comfort zone. Waaaaaay outside my comfort zone. I'm looking for a major fvcking life-altering experience. If it stays sunny some one of these weekends I'll be exiting a perfectly working airplane in the sky.

In the meantime I couldn't be happier with how things are going with the women I'm seeing. I'm actually sad that in time I'll end up losing touch with some of them as I eventually get more involved with one in an ltr.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Bravo! Congratulations on your progress!

 

[Rip]

1st date: coffee

2nd and subsequent dates: booze. It's panty remover. It will speed up the process no end.