Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single
She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.
You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.
The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.
Missing pieces from my game
- Thread starter MisterAl
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
MisterAl said:
Those two things clearly illustrate, in my opinion, the problem.
You are going to a lot of dates [which is GOOD].
But you are going to dates with the purpose of generating attraction.
What is that telling me? That you are dating women that you find attractive, but they might not find attractive yet. I NEVER date a woman, unless I'm certain she has attraction for me.
Going to dates is something that many women do for "fun" (e.g. free meals, a good laugh, or having somebody to just sit back and TALK). A way to make FRIENDS. Yep, false advertisement!
RedPill
Master Don Juan
Francisco d'Anconia said:Let's put a new twist on the old saying "Familiarity breeds contempt" and change it to "Familiarity breeds consent!" By the way, I ended up spending the night at her house two nights in a row.
Two thumbs up to that whole post. The above line in particular."She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
MisterAl
Don Juan
I'm getting more aggressive with making moves, the kind of stuff that got me girlfriends in the past. I got real friendly with High IL Girl tonight because I stepped it up when I wasn't sure she'd be totally receptive. She was. I think I could have pushed for more but everything went perfectly tonight as it was. I'm aiming for a relationship with this one. Smell her neck, kids. This chick is shy and had no idea what I was doing but she responded to it.
Interesting that I had a conversation with my sister (she's 30) the other day and I asked her what she does when she wants a guy to make out with her. She's pretty obvious and usually makes it pretty clear what she wants from a guy, but she said without coaching that she leans into a guy so he can smell her neck. She knows what she wants.
Fvck generating attraction. Changing focus to maintaining and growing IL. Fortunately for me this leaves me with 3 or 4 ladies with good IL to continue with.
What's clear to me is that having a couple horrible years professionally, emotionally and physically has really cut into my self-esteem and caused me to think negatively about my possibilities. In the past I had been good at relationships but lately figured that nobody would want anything to do with a loser like me. The last two weeks have taught I was wrong.
Important on the self-esteem front: I'm putting a lot of work into making new friendships and I made huge progress this weekend. I use online activity planning groups to meet people and over the weekend I hung out with a group that really welcomed me into their circle. I've needed a new circle for a long time, at least since my old friends starting marrying or moving away.
I was supposed to skydive with these people Saturday but the weather didn't allow it. I decided to skydive specifically to step outside my comfort zone. Waaaaaay outside my comfort zone. I'm looking for a major fvcking life-altering experience. If it stays sunny some one of these weekends I'll be exiting a perfectly working airplane in the sky.
In the meantime I couldn't be happier with how things are going with the women I'm seeing. I'm actually sad that in time I'll end up losing touch with some of them as I eventually get more involved with one in an ltr.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan