Missed Opportunities

[Monstercreation]

This is my first post on the site. I’ve been spurred into posting because of a missed lay potentially with what I would consider an 8, possibly a 9.

I occasionally work as a bouncer, mostly to meet women but getting paid cash is a nice incentive as well. Overall despite my initial expectations of the job I actually really like it and have ample opportunity to meet women. They of course approach me for all sorts of reasons mostly to ask where the bathroom is etc. Pretty frequently I get girls flirting with me, touching me, grinding on me, asking for my number and even had one instance of a girl asking to go home with me without any interaction prior(she was hot). Of course some of the advances are from girls I wouldn’t consider but a number of times they are very attractive. This last instance was the hottest girl yet. Brazilian with a bangin body.

I watched as guy after guy approached this girl and she rejected all advances except for one guy who eventually left because she got on her phone. Prior to that she and her friend were dancing like crazy(super hot), and eventually her friend was dancing with some guy and she was on her phone looking bored. I stepped over real casual as I was pretty much next to them and said “you look really bored.” From there her friend and her were excited to talk to me and I brushed them off in a playful way and went back to my post. Not getting super detailed here because I want to focus on the meat and potatoes of the interaction. It was getting near closing time and she came up and engaged me. The interaction was decent but IMO could have been steered in a better direction. She may have been giving me signs that she wanted to go home with me but I had only gotten her number when my boss comes from behind saying that if so and so were here you would be gone (as in fired) so I cut the interaction short. Later on he talked to me and said that I was talking to her for too long. Understandable. I feel as though I shouldn’t have gotten her number at all and instead seeded for a pull that night somehow. I wasn’t quite off work but was shortly after and I might’ve invited her for a nightcap at my place and a nice view of the city. When I got off work I saw her and her friend surrounded by some guys who she didn’t look all that happy to be talking to but she was a good distance away and I wasn’t interested in a potential fight with aggressive types as I profiled them to be. A couple additional points. She and her friend had asked me if I would be working there again and said they wanted to be friends with me. I responded by saying I travel a lot and don’t work there very often which is mostly true. Them saying “friends” didn’t concern me much but I did think about the idea that they just want to know me because I am guarding the front of the club and it makes them look cool, get special treatment etc.

Criticism, insight, and experienced feedback please. I want to maximize my time as a bouncer and get the most lays possible and yet I often miss obvious signals or don’t take proper action. Some of the time it’s because I’m in disbelief at how blatantly women come on to me but I’m getting more accustomed to that recently. I have a number of stories in which I have blundered opportunities due to lack of experience and don’t want to continue adding to those. Detailed responses are appreciated.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This is my first post on the site. I’ve been spurred into posting because of a missed lay potentially with what I would consider an 8, possibly a 9.

I occasionally work as a bouncer, mostly to meet women but getting paid cash is a nice incentive as well. Overall despite my initial expectations of the job I actually really like it and have ample opportunity to meet women. They of course approach me for all sorts of reasons mostly to ask where the bathroom is etc. Pretty frequently I get girls flirting with me, touching me, grinding on me, asking for my number and even had one instance of a girl asking to go home with me without any interaction prior(she was hot). Of course some of the advances are from girls I wouldn’t consider but a number of times they are very attractive. This last instance was the hottest girl yet. Brazilian with a bangin body.

I watched as guy after guy approached this girl and she rejected all advances except for one guy who eventually left because she got on her phone. Prior to that she and her friend were dancing like crazy(super hot), and eventually her friend was dancing with some guy and she was on her phone looking bored. I stepped over real casual as I was pretty much next to them and said “you look really bored.” From there her friend and her were excited to talk to me and I brushed them off in a playful way and went back to my post. Not getting super detailed here because I want to focus on the meat and potatoes of the interaction. It was getting near closing time and she came up and engaged me. The interaction was decent but IMO could have been steered in a better direction. She may have been giving me signs that she wanted to go home with me but I had only gotten her number when my boss comes from behind saying that if so and so were here you would be gone (as in fired) so I cut the interaction short. Later on he talked to me and said that I was talking to her for too long. Understandable. I feel as though I shouldn’t have gotten her number at all and instead seeded for a pull that night somehow. I wasn’t quite off work but was shortly after and I might’ve invited her for a nightcap at my place and a nice view of the city. When I got off work I saw her and her friend surrounded by some guys who she didn’t look all that happy to be talking to but she was a good distance away and I wasn’t interested in a potential fight with aggressive types as I profiled them to be. A couple additional points. She and her friend had asked me if I would be working there again and said they wanted to be friends with me. I responded by saying I travel a lot and don’t work there very often which is mostly true. Them saying “friends” didn’t concern me much but I did think about the idea that they just want to know me because I am guarding the front of the club and it makes them look cool, get special treatment etc.

Criticism, insight, and experienced feedback please. I want to maximize my time as a bouncer and get the most lays possible and yet I often miss obvious signals or don’t take proper action. Some of the time it’s because I’m in disbelief at how blatantly women come on to me but I’m getting more accustomed to that recently. I have a number of stories in which I have blundered opportunities due to lack of experience and don’t want to continue adding to those. Detailed responses are appreciated.

Bouncers, bartenders and DJs are like pvssy magnet jobs. Always look to pull and escalate, you are an authority figure and alpha male in that domain and that is very hot to many women.

The "you look bored" comment is PERFECT in that situation because it basically just states her reality and is soooo different from what most guys do.

I used to do something similar. I would just chill up at the bar by myself and wait for women to come by and then wait for guys to hit on them and turn them down and then crack a joke about it like "wow...that was awkward!" and then we would crack up laughing at it...super easy ice breaker and then you could just chat them up a little bit and almost have an "in"...

 

[2Rocky]

So when you are bouncing, or bartending you have to work after closing time. Could be 15 minutes could be 30.

Best thing to do in those cases is tell these women "Hey I'm going to be at XYZ all night diner after we get done shutting up the place. Meet me there."

Might cost you a cup of coffee or a waffle, but you get instant compliance and a pretty fair idea of her intent.

 

[Monstercreation]

Bouncers, bartenders and DJs are like pvssy magnet jobs. Always look to pull and escalate, you are an authority figure and alpha male in that domain and that is very hot to many women.

The "you look bored" comment is PERFECT in that situation because it basically just states her reality and is soooo different from what most guys do.

I used to do something similar. I would just chill up at the bar by myself and wait for women to come by and then wait for guys to hit on them and turn them down and then crack a joke about it like "wow...that was awkward!" and then we would crack up laughing at it...super easy ice breaker and then you could just chat them up a little bit and almost have an "in"...

“Wow... that was awkward”, going to use that one as well thanks.

 

[Monstercreation]

So when you are bouncing, or bartending you have to work after closing time. Could be 15 minutes could be 30.

Best thing to do in those cases is tell these women "Hey I'm going to be at XYZ all night diner after we get done shutting up the place. Meet me there."

Might cost you a cup of coffee or a waffle, but you get instant compliance and a pretty fair idea of her intent.

Actually a good idea however at the current club I’m working I get off before closing often. In the instances where I have to clear everyone out and the girl has to wait around I question how many will flake if I ask them to meet me somewhere else. I have worked at big clubs that close super late and would definitely have to go with this diner idea or something similar in those cases. The diner I would meet them at would be closer to where I live which is about 15 min away.

What I’m thinking is if the girl is waiting around after talking to me just taking her either to the diner and then to my place or straight back to my place. Which and why? Obviously situation dependent but I’d prefer going straight home in most cases, for sex and sleep of course. Is being super direct a bad idea?

Another facet of the job that I’m still figuring out is what the club owners and managers etc. are and aren’t ok with. I have talked to them at two different clubs about interacting with girls and they have said give them my number quickly and move on. I’d rather not even deal with numbers at all. Numbers in my experience thus far don’t pan out.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Actually a good idea however at the current club I’m working I get off before closing often. In the instances where I have to clear everyone out and the girl has to wait around I question how many will flake if I ask them to meet me somewhere else. I have worked at big clubs that close super late and would definitely have to go with this diner idea or something similar in those cases. The diner I would meet them at would be closer to where I live which is about 15 min away.

What I’m thinking is if the girl is waiting around after talking to me just taking her either to the diner and then to my place or straight back to my place. Which and why? Obviously situation dependent but I’d prefer going straight home in most cases, for sex and sleep of course. Is being super direct a bad idea?

Another facet of the job that I’m still figuring out is what the club owners and managers etc. are and aren’t ok with. I have talked to them at two different clubs about interacting with girls and they have said give them my number quickly and move on. I’d rather not even deal with numbers at all. Numbers in my experience thus far don’t pan out.

Honestly being super direct in that environment is not bad, especially as you are viewed as an authority figure. You can just say something like "Hey I'm heading home after here, you should come join me"

 

[CAPSLOCK BANDIT]

Most guys I know that are bouncers, dont have a ton of experience in pulling women or being bouncers in general, because being a bouncer, although is good for traffic, is ultimately just a detour to puss chase.

Maybe you make a good living as a bouncer, but when you consider chances of altercations, legal trouble, etc... Like unless you are a giant guy and shouldnt have trouble pulling anyways, i think your time is better served elsewhere.

 

[Trojan3000]

I wouldn't think much of it and I wouldn't have the mindset of trying to lay girls. The reason why you're getting advances is because as this is your employment, your energy is passive toward them so girls feel a lot more comfortable.. plus, being that its an authority driven/masculine job, that adds to the attraction.. They're cats and you're a post they can rub on.. Once that dynamic changes, everything changes..

Just keep it as it is, and focus on your job. Part of the interest for woman also is, they get to flirt with a guy whos working, who isn't trying to entertain or actively go for them. It's because they're fueled on alcohol. A sensible girl wouldn't flirt with a guy at his workplace, and vice versa.. you wouldn't ask a girl her number while she's working.. as shes less likely to flirt back due to it being a place of employment.

Now since you asked for advice: best advice is to analyze each of your interactions and see what works best for you, what type of interaction/reaction gets you the most action whether a girl asking for your number, or flirting with u more.. but try to not engage them in flirting, try to let them know i cant talk much im working but if you want i can give you my number if you see they want the D

But, if you want an extra tip.. and i dont condone this man because this is kinda risky, id make business cards, some bull**** like "private security agent for hire, personal bodyguard, security services", with your name and number on there..

 

[2Rocky]

What I’m thinking is if the girl is waiting around after talking to me just taking her either to the diner and then to my place or straight back to my place. Which and why? Obviously situation dependent but I’d prefer going straight home in most cases, for sex and sleep of course. Is being super direct a bad idea?

Back before Uber and Lyft, and cell phones we would walk them home safely. It was a pure nice guy move but got some isolation.

I came into the club working the door after a time period where the club had a travelling strip revue do a show there. The bouncers bartenders and strippers all went to the hottub of the fitness club adjacent (owned by the club owner as well) and you can imagine what a group of adults would do after the doors closed. Predictably the owner wasn't the most upstanding individual and got room and board courtesy of the state for a while and the outrageous events ceased while I was there.


So check with your supervisor on what is acceptable, what's off limits, and what is Don't Ask/Don't Tell territory. Usually they don't want the staff hitting on customers on the premises. That's why the Meet afterwards worked well for me.

 

[Monstercreation]

I wouldn't think much of it and I wouldn't have the mindset of trying to lay girls. The reason why you're getting advances is because as this is your employment, your energy is passive toward them so girls feel a lot more comfortable.. plus, being that its an authority driven/masculine job, that adds to the attraction.. They're cats and you're a post they can rub on.. Once that dynamic changes, everything changes..

Just keep it as it is, and focus on your job. Part of the interest for woman also is, they get to flirt with a guy whos working, who isn't trying to entertain or actively go for them. It's because they're fueled on alcohol. A sensible girl wouldn't flirt with a guy at his workplace, and vice versa.. you wouldn't ask a girl her number while she's working.. as shes less likely to flirt back due to it being a place of employment.

Now since you asked for advice: best advice is to analyze each of your interactions and see what works best for you, what type of interaction/reaction gets you the most action whether a girl asking for your number, or flirting with u more.. but try to not engage them in flirting, try to let them know i cant talk much im working but if you want i can give you my number if you see they want the D

But, if you want an extra tip.. and i dont condone this man because this is kinda risky, id make business cards, some bull**** like "private security agent for hire, personal bodyguard, security services", with your name and number on there..

The point your getting at I have definitely considered. Which is what leads me to believe that best chances of pulling are going to be same night straight home. A number at 2am results in no text back the next day when a woman realizes that she doesn’t actually want to sleep with the bouncer.

Business cards, that’s a funny and rather clutch idea. Curious as to the risk you see with those.

 

[Monstercreation]

Back before Uber and Lyft, and cell phones we would walk them home safely. It was a pure nice guy move but got some isolation.

I came into the club working the door after a time period where the club had a travelling strip revue do a show there. The bouncers bartenders and strippers all went to the hottub of the fitness club adjacent (owned by the club owner as well) and you can imagine what a group of adults would do after the doors closed. Predictably the owner wasn't the most upstanding individual and got room and board courtesy of the state for a while and the outrageous events ceased while I was there.


So check with your supervisor on what is acceptable, what's off limits, and what is Don't Ask/Don't Tell territory. Usually they don't want the staff hitting on customers on the premises. That's why the Meet afterwards worked well for me.

Whereabouts did you work? I’m going to guess Vegas or NY or something. Hot tub fun sounds good to me.

I have had one girl come up to me and first thing she said was “I need security to take me home”. So definitely the walking home or to a vehicle matches up with my experience yet I haven’t done it so far. Helps that I’m working in a dangerous city so this is a likely excuse.

 

[Trojan3000]

The point your getting at I have definitely considered. Which is what leads me to believe that best chances of pulling are going to be same night straight home. A number at 2am results in no text back the next day when a woman realizes that she doesn’t actually want to sleep with the bouncer.

Business cards, that’s a funny and rather clutch idea. Curious as to the risk you see with those.

haha glad you liked the idea. its one of the most simple ways to pass your number out to woman in the most inconspicuous way possible. the risk would obviously be, possibly getting fired or in trouble for passing out your "business cards" in a place of employment