Michael Sartain: Approaching Strangers is Dead

[SW15]

Non-bar approaching is also not a very efficient way to spend time. It can be effective, but it is a grind filled with rejection.

Blaine Anderson (a fish trying to teach men to catch fish) made a valid point on one of her YouTube Shorts about this. There are times when a man is doing everything correct and he will still fail on approaches.

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Blaine Anderson's example was an example of why non-bar approaching (typically done during daylight/early evening hours) is horribly inefficient though. The majority of women between ages 18-49 aren't seeking new penis at the moment they are approached in a non-bar setting. That is a major disincentive for doing non-bar approaching.

In Generation Z, most of them are more accustomed to interactions starting from tech methods. Many of them are less open to fielding approaching, even when they are available.

There are technologies used mainly by Millennial and Gen Z women to reduce non-bar approaches. The most significant one is earbuds/headphones. Smartphones work in conjunction with earbuds/headphones to do the penis block. Women are also often immersed in their smartphone world with scrolling TikTok and Instagram even without earbuds.

The woman that a man might approach in a non-bar setting and is actually open to new penis, she has numerous DMs on her Instagram and could have hundreds of men in her swipe queue if she's using a swipe app. She's less motivated to field approaches because of this. If she's Gen Z, she might also have weaker social skills and isn't accustomed to a non-bar approach or even a bar approach.

Bar approaching has been declining too.

I see we’ve had different experiences. In the 90s and 2000s, in Queens, the most socially connected women were owned.

Queens in the 1990s-2000s is a different experience. Queens is even different than Manhattan, mere miles away within New York City.

The Sun Belt cities in the 2000s-2020s are mainly nomadic, transplanted adults with weaker social circles. That affects the mating markets in those cities. Online dating (both in the website and app eras) has been a big thing in these cities due to the rootless nature of a good percentage of adults in these cities. The bar approach culture was bigger in the 2000s and early 2010s in these cities than it is now. I've noticed less of an approaching culture in my city in recent years. A few bars in my city still have the approaching culture but many of them do not.

 

[BadBoy89]

For those unaware, Michael Sartain is Rollo Tomassi's co-host on the Access Vegas podcast.

Rollo Tomassi got married in his late 20s, has a 27 year old daughter and tells his listeners "don't get married". Why not? Because if they get married, they won't listen to his podcast -> less money for him. Is that not a Con Man?

Don't know much about Michael Sartain.

In this video, Michael Sartain claims that approaching strangers in real life does not result in sex and extended relationships with attractive women ages 18-24. The only way Sartain claims that approaching a stranger or using a dating app would work on attractive 18-24 year olds is if you are in the 95th percentile + of looks.

So hot young girls between 18 - 24; the ones most coveted by society, the ones most wanted by the rich, the famous, the politicians, the actors, the business tycoons; only want to approached by the top 5% of men in society?

Shocking Michael, thanks for letting us know layman know.

Sartain does claim that women 35+ are more likely to be more option to real life approaches or meeting strangers on dating apps.

Shocking Michael, thanks for letting us layman know.

Sartain also claims that dating apps are dead too for most men.

Shocking Michael, thanks for letting us layman know.

Is approaching strangers in real life dead?

When was it alive?

For a man to see a woman in the street and go up to her and start a conversation without any background, anything in common, or anything substantiative, its illogical and irrational. Of course her guard is going to be up.

I've had hot young girls come up to me in the street and talk to me in a friendly way; And what happens? My guard is up. I talk with her a friendly way while we are walking, but I'm thinking "What do you want? My money? My kidney? "I'm sure you don't want a full blown relationship with me. I'm sure I'm not that attractive that you want make love to me tonight. What do you want?"

Yet we expect women to receptive to a man in the street? Men, when you cold approach a woman in the street, you are stranger, you have nothing in common with her other than you want to f her brains out. How can you expect anything else from her than "Leave me alone"?

Now even if the man is really tall and really handsome, he might be able to do something on a cold approach, but even then, she would likely think he wants to rape her.

Sartain claims that the way to get attractive younger women to have sex and get into extended relationships is through social circle building or by cultivating an amazing Instagram profile and sending DMs.

Thanks Michael. Such wise words.

To get attractive younger women to have sex? A man has to be at least 6'0, he has to have great hair
To get younger women into extended relationships? A man has to get her pregnant.

Social circle building? It helps KNOWING more girls when a man is in his 20s, but it won't help a man having sex with them. In a social circle, no man is going to help another man get a woman. Doesn't matter how close they are, he will not help. Why? It's good for him that man stays single. Helps his image. Women will help a single men ALOT more. They will do their best to set him up, granted he has be a somewhat valuable man, but they will help if they know he is trying to find someone. A man has to be actively looking at the same time too.

Amazing Instagram profile and send DMs? What is considering amazing? A man wants to be in a relationship with a girl who likes cars, trips, fancy hotels? You are going to bring her home to mom?

Amazing Instagram profile would work if you are a professional athlete or something, then you can DM hot young girls. But for the average man? Good luck.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Queens in the 1990s-2000s is a different experience. Queens is even different than Manhattan, mere miles away within New York City.

I think Queens was far more cliquey, scumbaggy, and greasy.

 

[SW15]

For a man to see a woman in the street and go up to her and start a conversation without any background, anything in common, or anything substantiative, its illogical and irrational. Of course her guard is going to be up.

I've had hot young girls come up to me in the street and talk to me in a friendly way; And what happens? My guard is up. I talk with her a friendly way while we are walking, but I'm thinking "What do you want? My money? My kidney? "I'm sure you don't want a full blown relationship with me. I'm sure I'm not that attractive that you want make love to me tonight. What do you want?"

Yet we expect women to receptive to a man in the street? Men, when you cold approach a woman in the street, you are stranger, you have nothing in common with her other than you want to f her brains out. How can you expect anything else from her than "Leave me alone"?

In terms of non-bar approaching, there are other venues beside the street. There are malls, grocery stores, gyms/fitness classes, walking paths, parks, etc.

Non-bar approaching is rather difficult and inefficient. I've done a lot of it and I've also done a lot of bar approaching.

Now even if the man is really tall and really handsome, he might be able to do something on a cold approach, but even then, she would likely think he wants to rape her.

A man's looks are the #1 factor in approaching strangers (non-bar or bar approaching). Better looking men do better on approaching strangers.

 

[BaronOfHair]

While I support having women friends, the vast majority of guys (myself included) will not be able to show up at a bar (or other venue) with multiple Staceys like he does.

He does this in HIS VIDEOS. Chances are strong that at least some of this has been staged. And I'm saying this even as someone who, kinda sorta anyway, agrees with the gist of Sartain's observations in that video: Relying EXCLUSIVELY on "cold approach", rather than having multiple strategies and approaches to call upon, is foolish

 

[Plinco]

I did a cold approach today at the mall. Two 18 yo girls who just graduated high school. I walked across the mall lobby/food court entrance to introduce myself. Ultimately, they were not interested, but there was nothing wrong with the interaction either.

Having decent conversation skills can go a long way.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Having decent conversation skills can go a long way.

That went out of fashion in late '16 or so, along with Hollywood making movies for adults and the capacity to sit through any and all comedy produced in prior decades, WITHOUT pretending to be traumatized afterwards

 

[DonJefe19]

This is why I vouch for group settings or attending events. It's a lot easier to approach women when they have similar interest as you do. When you're approaching out on the street during the day, there's a lot of barriers to overcome. It's great when you're trying to overcome approach anxiety because you become desensitized to rejection, but once you get past that, it's a masochistic exercise.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I have said this years ago but if you're a guy looking for a girlfriend or a quality woman
, social circle is the way to go
Yes it's harder, but it's far more rewarding.

This is bs logic.

So, what is it about the social circle that makes a woman of more quality than a non-social circle?

Makes no sense.

I remember back in the day when women would be flattered if you approached them even if they weren't interested

It is June 6th, 2025...and as a guy that actually approaches female strangers...I am here to tell you; women are still flattered when you approach them, even if they aren't interested.

So, back in the day my ass.

, Now we are in the era where a woman will go on Tik Tok and try to put you on blast if she found you "creepy" or "weird"

You're taking anecdotal data and applying it to the masses.

Fallacious.

modern women especially younger ones are so feminised and insufferable that approaching them is now a job instead of a fun adventure

Stay safe guys

Any reason, any excuse to not approach women.

It is rather disgusting, actually.

 

[MatureDJ]

For those unaware, Michael Sartain is Rollo Tomassi's co-host on the Access Vegas podcast.

In this video, Michael Sartain claims that approaching strangers in real life does not result in sex and extended relationships with attractive women ages 18-24. The only way Sartain claims that approaching a stranger or using a dating app would work on attractive 18-24 year olds is if you are in the 95th percentile + of looks.

Sartain does claim that women 35+ are more likely to be more option to real life approaches or meeting strangers on dating apps.

Sartain also claims that dating apps are dead too for most men.

Is approaching strangers in real life dead?

Sartain claims that the way to get attractive younger women to have sex and get into extended relationships is through social circle building or by cultivating an amazing Instagram profile and sending DMs.

It's OVER for Sub95%Cels.

 

[Thebestthereeveris]

This is bs logic.

So, what is it about the social circle that makes a woman of more quality than a non-social circle?

Makes no sense.



It is June 6th, 2025...and as a guy that actually approaches female strangers...I am here to tell you; women are still flattered when you approach them, even if they aren't interested.

So, back in the day my ass.



You're taking anecdotal data and applying it to the masses.

Fallacious.



Any reason, any excuse to not approach women.

It is rather disgusting, actually.

Yes. Everyone who says cold approach is dead it's ALL on them. Cold approach will and always will be the best way to get girls.

 

[SW15]

Cold approach will and always will be the best way to get girls.

It's far from the best way to get women. It's a better method than app swiping for the majority of men. However, it is highly inefficient and will lead to lots of rejection for men outside of the top tier.

Most men are better off building a strong social network and getting introductions facilitated at events like private residence parties than approaching at bars or non-bar venues.

Most people now have weaker social networks and swipe apps have replaced the social network. However, swipe apps are usually a way for men to date below their SMV rating (if they aren't totally ignored) due to female abundance.

There is now less of a culture of bar approaching. Random, non-bar approaching has always been a niche activity and is also falling off too.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

It's far from the best way to get women. It's a better method than app swiping for the majority of men. However, it is highly inefficient and will lead to lots of rejection for men outside of the top tier.

Most men are better off building a strong social network and getting introductions facilitated at events like private residence parties than approaching at bars or non-bar venues.

Bro, you are the homie, and I have more respect for you than anyone else on here.

But, you sound like a damn fool.

If a man can't pull the woman on a cold approach because he isn't top tier...then what makes you think he'll be able to pull her in a social network or private residence parties?

He still wouldn't be top tier, under either of those two circumstances...so why in the hell would his efficiency miraculously increase?

Not only that, but what makes a man top tier anyway? According to who?

Too much subjectivity.

And with social circles, not enough options to be even remotely efficient.

Nothing beats cold approach.

 

[SW15]

Nothing beats cold approach.

I have an extensive history of approaching because I have never been able to develop a viable social circle. My numerous relocations prior to arriving in my current city 10+ years ago are a big factor in this. While I've made friends in this city, I never made the right friends. I never made the friends capable of providing me with introductions to compatible single females.

I acknowledge that a reliance on approaching has increased my degree of difficulty over the years. Additionally, I have used websites/swipe apps at times over the years.

And with social circles, not enough options to be even remotely efficient.

It can be efficient if the stars align. However, if there's no viable options in the social circle, someone will have to explore elsewhere. My example above is proof of that.

Social circle is usually more efficient when prospects exist. However, there are many men who have friends but lack the right friends. Their friends don't have the right contacts to facilitate any introductions, let alone qualified, compatible introductions.

Those men are forced to explore other options. They usually end up swiping or DMing, but some will approach in real life.

If a man can't pull the woman on a cold approach because he isn't top tier...then what makes you think he'll be able to pull her in a social network or private residence parties?

He still wouldn't be top tier, under either of those two circumstances...so why in the hell would his efficiency miraculously increase?

Here's my core argument with that...

Within the confines of a social circle, a woman might give a man more extended consideration. This will be more relevant for longer term mating than shorter term mating. This more extended consideration might occur through some communication between mutual acquaintances that happens before a private residence party.

Efficiency would increase from pre-screening and promoting from the mutual acquaintances.

A woman might consider a mid-tier man from her social circle who is well regarded by mutual acquaintances. Without the stamp of approval from the social circle, he would fail with her if he were some stranger on a swipe app or at a bar.

Women tend to operate with 2 sets of standards. They much a much higher one for strangers that they meet through apps, DMs, and real life approaches and a more reasonable set of standards for someone that they meet through their existing social network.

Not only that, but what makes a man top tier anyway? According to who?

Too much subjectivity.

There's subjectivity in it. I realize it.

A top tier SMV male is some desirable combination of looks, money, status, and personality.

Looks and money are the most important variables in making a man top tier on his SMV.

Low body fat with aesthetic muscle mass, 6'0"+ height, good facial aesthetics, and high income/net worth are indicators of solid looks and money indicators. The income/net worth stats would have the most subjectivity.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Nothing beats cold approach.

A live cattle prod, zip ties, a ball gag, and a sound-proofed cottage in the backyard. Some might call this a hot approach

 

[Solomon]

This is bs logic.

So, what is it about the social circle that makes a woman of more quality than a non-social circle?

Makes no sense.

I'm going of my experience. I have done
Daygame approaches i.e. malls, day parties, food festivals, etc
Nightgame approaches i.e. bars, clubs, etc
Social circle approaches i.e. friend groups, house parties, frat parties (in my 30s, yes I was getting into frat parties in my 30s and some folks here have seen the receipts)
Online dating

I'm going of my experience the term quality is subjective, not objective here is no universal metric that deems someone quality or not it's based on what you value as an individual so, yes in my experience and with my metric Social circle, I have found better quality women than the others

It is June 6th, 2025...and as a guy that actually approaches female strangers...I am here to tell you; women are still flattered when you approach them, even if they aren't interested.

So, back in the day my ass.

What evidence do you have to support this? Once again, if it's anecdotal, I'll concede that you do not have any data to point this back up
I do have data proving that Gen-Z men do not approach women because they do not want to be labeled as creepy and being ostracized publicly.

You're taking anecdotal data and applying it to the masses.

Fallacious.

The pot calling the kettle black, irony

Any reason, any excuse to not approach women.

It is rather disgusting, actually.

A cheap shot, hey whatever floats your boat,and makes you feel better

♞ takes Queen

Checkmate

 

[Solomon]

This is why I vouch for group settings or attending events. It's a lot easier to approach women when they have similar interest as you do. When you're approaching out on the street during the day, there's a lot of barriers to overcome. It's great when you're trying to overcome approach anxiety because you become desensitized to rejection, but once you get past that, it's a masochistic exercise.

I totally agree with this, as as guy who did 3,000 approaches from 2008-2012, and also has done social circle game sine College. Social circle in my experience, is a far better way to meet women overall. It's not easy for most but the rewards are worth it not just with meeting women but also networking (I've found and got jobs that I never would have found due to this), access to exclusive parties, traveling, meeting millionaires etc.