Michael Sartain: Approaching Strangers is Dead

[SW15]

Non-bar approaching is also not a very efficient way to spend time. It can be effective, but it is a grind filled with rejection.

Blaine Anderson (a fish trying to teach men to catch fish) made a valid point on one of her YouTube Shorts about this. There are times when a man is doing everything correct and he will still fail on approaches.

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Blaine Anderson's example was an example of why non-bar approaching (typically done during daylight/early evening hours) is horribly inefficient though. The majority of women between ages 18-49 aren't seeking new penis at the moment they are approached in a non-bar setting. That is a major disincentive for doing non-bar approaching.

In Generation Z, most of them are more accustomed to interactions starting from tech methods. Many of them are less open to fielding approaching, even when they are available.

There are technologies used mainly by Millennial and Gen Z women to reduce non-bar approaches. The most significant one is earbuds/headphones. Smartphones work in conjunction with earbuds/headphones to do the penis block. Women are also often immersed in their smartphone world with scrolling TikTok and Instagram even without earbuds.

The woman that a man might approach in a non-bar setting and is actually open to new penis, she has numerous DMs on her Instagram and could have hundreds of men in her swipe queue if she's using a swipe app. She's less motivated to field approaches because of this. If she's Gen Z, she might also have weaker social skills and isn't accustomed to a non-bar approach or even a bar approach.

Bar approaching has been declining too.

I see we’ve had different experiences. In the 90s and 2000s, in Queens, the most socially connected women were owned.

Queens in the 1990s-2000s is a different experience. Queens is even different than Manhattan, mere miles away within New York City.

The Sun Belt cities in the 2000s-2020s are mainly nomadic, transplanted adults with weaker social circles. That affects the mating markets in those cities. Online dating (both in the website and app eras) has been a big thing in these cities due to the rootless nature of a good percentage of adults in these cities. The bar approach culture was bigger in the 2000s and early 2010s in these cities than it is now. I've noticed less of an approaching culture in my city in recent years. A few bars in my city still have the approaching culture but many of them do not.

 

[BadBoy89]

For those unaware, Michael Sartain is Rollo Tomassi's co-host on the Access Vegas podcast.

Rollo Tomassi got married in his late 20s, has a 27 year old daughter and tells his listeners "don't get married". Why not? Because if they get married, they won't listen to his podcast -> less money for him. Is that not a Con Man?

Don't know much about Michael Sartain.

In this video, Michael Sartain claims that approaching strangers in real life does not result in sex and extended relationships with attractive women ages 18-24. The only way Sartain claims that approaching a stranger or using a dating app would work on attractive 18-24 year olds is if you are in the 95th percentile + of looks.

So hot young girls between 18 - 24; the ones most coveted by society, the ones most wanted by the rich, the famous, the politicians, the actors, the business tycoons; only want to approached by the top 5% of men in society?

Shocking Michael, thanks for letting us know layman know.

Sartain does claim that women 35+ are more likely to be more option to real life approaches or meeting strangers on dating apps.

Shocking Michael, thanks for letting us layman know.

Sartain also claims that dating apps are dead too for most men.

Shocking Michael, thanks for letting us layman know.

Is approaching strangers in real life dead?

When was it alive?

For a man to see a woman in the street and go up to her and start a conversation without any background, anything in common, or anything substantiative, its illogical and irrational. Of course her guard is going to be up.

I've had hot young girls come up to me in the street and talk to me in a friendly way; And what happens? My guard is up. I talk with her a friendly way while we are walking, but I'm thinking "What do you want? My money? My kidney? "I'm sure you don't want a full blown relationship with me. I'm sure I'm not that attractive that you want make love to me tonight. What do you want?"

Yet we expect women to receptive to a man in the street? Men, when you cold approach a woman in the street, you are stranger, you have nothing in common with her other than you want to f her brains out. How can you expect anything else from her than "Leave me alone"?

Now even if the man is really tall and really handsome, he might be able to do something on a cold approach, but even then, she would likely think he wants to rape her.

Sartain claims that the way to get attractive younger women to have sex and get into extended relationships is through social circle building or by cultivating an amazing Instagram profile and sending DMs.

Thanks Michael. Such wise words.

To get attractive younger women to have sex? A man has to be at least 6'0, he has to have great hair
To get younger women into extended relationships? A man has to get her pregnant.

Social circle building? It helps KNOWING more girls when a man is in his 20s, but it won't help a man having sex with them. In a social circle, no man is going to help another man get a woman. Doesn't matter how close they are, he will not help. Why? It's good for him that man stays single. Helps his image. Women will help a single men ALOT more. They will do their best to set him up, granted he has be a somewhat valuable man, but they will help if they know he is trying to find someone. A man has to be actively looking at the same time too.

Amazing Instagram profile and send DMs? What is considering amazing? A man wants to be in a relationship with a girl who likes cars, trips, fancy hotels? You are going to bring her home to mom?

Amazing Instagram profile would work if you are a professional athlete or something, then you can DM hot young girls. But for the average man? Good luck.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Queens in the 1990s-2000s is a different experience. Queens is even different than Manhattan, mere miles away within New York City.

I think Queens was far more cliquey, scumbaggy, and greasy.

 

[SW15]

For a man to see a woman in the street and go up to her and start a conversation without any background, anything in common, or anything substantiative, its illogical and irrational. Of course her guard is going to be up.

I've had hot young girls come up to me in the street and talk to me in a friendly way; And what happens? My guard is up. I talk with her a friendly way while we are walking, but I'm thinking "What do you want? My money? My kidney? "I'm sure you don't want a full blown relationship with me. I'm sure I'm not that attractive that you want make love to me tonight. What do you want?"

Yet we expect women to receptive to a man in the street? Men, when you cold approach a woman in the street, you are stranger, you have nothing in common with her other than you want to f her brains out. How can you expect anything else from her than "Leave me alone"?

In terms of non-bar approaching, there are other venues beside the street. There are malls, grocery stores, gyms/fitness classes, walking paths, parks, etc.

Non-bar approaching is rather difficult and inefficient. I've done a lot of it and I've also done a lot of bar approaching.

Now even if the man is really tall and really handsome, he might be able to do something on a cold approach, but even then, she would likely think he wants to rape her.

A man's looks are the #1 factor in approaching strangers (non-bar or bar approaching). Better looking men do better on approaching strangers.

 

[BaronOfHair]

While I support having women friends, the vast majority of guys (myself included) will not be able to show up at a bar (or other venue) with multiple Staceys like he does.

He does this in HIS VIDEOS. Chances are strong that at least some of this has been staged. And I'm saying this even as someone who, kinda sorta anyway, agrees with the gist of Sartain's observations in that video: Relying EXCLUSIVELY on "cold approach", rather than having multiple strategies and approaches to call upon, is foolish

 

[Plinco]

I did a cold approach today at the mall. Two 18 yo girls who just graduated high school. I walked across the mall lobby/food court entrance to introduce myself. Ultimately, they were not interested, but there was nothing wrong with the interaction either.

Having decent conversation skills can go a long way.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Having decent conversation skills can go a long way.

That went out of fashion in late '16 or so, along with Hollywood making movies for adults and the capacity to sit through any and all comedy produced in prior decades, WITHOUT pretending to be traumatized afterwards

 

[DonJefe19]

This is why I vouch for group settings or attending events. It's a lot easier to approach women when they have similar interest as you do. When you're approaching out on the street during the day, there's a lot of barriers to overcome. It's great when you're trying to overcome approach anxiety because you become desensitized to rejection, but once you get past that, it's a masochistic exercise.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I have said this years ago but if you're a guy looking for a girlfriend or a quality woman
, social circle is the way to go
Yes it's harder, but it's far more rewarding.

This is bs logic.

So, what is it about the social circle that makes a woman of more quality than a non-social circle?

Makes no sense.

I remember back in the day when women would be flattered if you approached them even if they weren't interested

It is June 6th, 2025...and as a guy that actually approaches female strangers...I am here to tell you; women are still flattered when you approach them, even if they aren't interested.

So, back in the day my ass.

, Now we are in the era where a woman will go on Tik Tok and try to put you on blast if she found you "creepy" or "weird"

You're taking anecdotal data and applying it to the masses.

Fallacious.

modern women especially younger ones are so feminised and insufferable that approaching them is now a job instead of a fun adventure

Stay safe guys

Any reason, any excuse to not approach women.

It is rather disgusting, actually.