Michael Sartain: Approaching Strangers is Dead

[Jesse Pinkman]

I may post life updates if any of you are interested but in the past 6 or so months, I did take a lot of time to build up my social circle and I have to say, social circle game is a terrible way to get girls. My weekends and weeks were hectic and busy because there was always an event to go to be it a dinner or whatever. However, I got to meet guys who do get laid and tbh, it is kinda straightforward. Most of the times it is through the apps and then it is through cold approach, albeit at the beach and such. These guys still had social lives but they did not mix the two up.

In most cases, I barely had time to check a forum like this because every other day it was a:

• Dinner
• Friending wanting to hang out
• Friends wanting to have drinks
• Concerts
• Shows

You name it. You meet good people and have a fun time but I actually found that it gets in the way of getting laid. If you want to get laid as a guy, the most efficient way is through a top tier online dating profile or you do it through having a top notch IG but the right kind is a full-time job of its own. I know of two guys who have one and one of those guys is a Passport Bro that does it in third world countries.

Good Looking Loser for those of you that remember him had the best system for getting laid.

1. Look good (get in shape, get fit, and dress with some edge)

2. Fix your logistics

3. Talk to chicks

Throw in a good online dating profile and you'll be scoring. Granted, it is tough to do so with the 18-24 year old crowd even as a guy who is their age but it can be done.

Guys are best off getting in the best physical shape possible, dropping the pounds (or putting on the muscles if you are really skinny by nature), and dressing well for starters. Then you talk to chicks.

 

[Bingo-Player]

In my field experience, I am seeing that approaches are not appreciated anymore.

While most women are not rude to me on approaches, the willingness to engage in conversation is often lacking. This is somewhat related to my daygame method. The majority of women between ages 18-49 aren't seeking new penis at the moment they are approached in a non-bar setting. Most of these women won't disclose a relationship in an approach. They will simply not move the conversation further and it dies out within 30-60 seconds, before a date offer can be made.

This doesn't align with my experiences , I had a lot of sex from cold approach last year 9 different chicks between Jan and Dec 2024

It was the hottest I've ran since I was in my early 20's and as the year went on the girls got progressively better and better .... I cannot stress this enough if you're a single guy in your 30's or 40's you have to be in a major metro city theres more people and more opportunities

Sure you're going to run into blunt / rude women its inevitable

Younger millennial and gen Z women are very strong willed and opinionated if you don't disarm them within the first few mins they won't think twice about blowing you out of the water that is where a level of experience and wit is worth its weight in gold but even then its not a given

You also have to remember a lot of women are very heavy TikTok users and get most of their dating / male screening advice from there

You must be careful not to fall into the role of the stereotypical " player / fvck boy / nice guy / creep " or again they will cook you


The game is a lot more intricate than it was in the early 2000's for sure but what you also have to remember is a lot of men have absolutely no clue how to interact with a woman most just rely on their status/ looks or height

 

[BaronOfHair]

Guys are best off getting in the best physical shape possible, dropping the pounds (or putting on the muscles if you are really skinny by nature), and dressing well for starters. Then you talk to chicks.

We do that for OURSELVES, first and foremost, ideally anyway. Had the neckbearded, basement dwelling MCU/Star Wars junkie not become the standard bearer for American men by time '16 or so rolled around*, chances are high that MeToo and the like would've never gained a foothold in our culture


*That's markedly different from where we were in The 2000s and early 10s, when Googling the term "Alpha Males" on Google image yielded a photo featuring Don Draper, Mike Weston, Eric Northman, Harvey Specter, Chuck Bass, Daniel Craig's Bond, Jack Bauer, The Winchester Brothers, Christian Troy, etc etc

 

[Plinco]

Well, I haven't started dating women my age, if that is what you are trying to say.

That's not what I'm saying. You said that you were older than I am, and had the same problem. What have you done to take responsibility for your situation?

 

[SW15]

Well, I haven't started dating women my age, if that is what you are trying to say.

Most men in the 55-60 age range are dating/attempting to date similarly aged women. If I'm being generous, I'll call that women 50+.

Older men are still plenty thirsty. There are plenty of 55-60 year old men who date women their own age because they'd rather have that than nothing.

Women have typically lost their looks by age 50. While there are post peak women in their 30s and 40s who are physically attractive, this is rare once a woman reaches her early 50s.

It's often awkward when 2 people who are in middle age and beyond commit to each other. They lived their best years without the other person present. These are adults with well established patterns in life.

 

[BaronOfHair]

It's often awkward when 2 people who are in middle age and beyond commit to each other

It CAN be, I'm sure. On the other hand, if they both walk in with thoughts to the effect of:

"Well, I've been blessed to have someone else enter my life at this different season, which is superb. We'll enjoy each other's company, for however long this(and we ourselves... For all I f-ck-ng know, The Mossad has mistaken us for high-ranking Hezbollah and targeted us for assassination, and we'll both be blasted to smithereens via a cell phone rigged with C4, before the week's out)lasts"

Such a union is likely to be extraordinarily happy

 

[Divorced w 3]

I may post life updates if any of you are interested but in the past 6 or so months, I did take a lot of time to build up my social circle and I have to say, social circle game is a terrible way to get girls. My weekends and weeks were hectic and busy because there was always an event to go to be it a dinner or whatever. However, I got to meet guys who do get laid and tbh, it is kinda straightforward. Most of the times it is through the apps and then it is through cold approach, albeit at the beach and such. These guys still had social lives but they did not mix the two up.

In most cases, I barely had time to check a forum like this because every other day it was a:

• Dinner
• Friending wanting to hang out
• Friends wanting to have drinks
• Concerts
• Shows

You name it. You meet good people and have a fun time but I actually found that it gets in the way of getting laid. If you want to get laid as a guy, the most efficient way is through a top tier online dating profile or you do it through having a top notch IG but the right kind is a full-time job of its own. I know of two guys who have one and one of those guys is a Passport Bro that does it in third world countries.

Good Looking Loser for those of you that remember him had the best system for getting laid.

1. Look good (get in shape, get fit, and dress with some edge)

2. Fix your logistics

3. Talk to chicks

Throw in a good online dating profile and you'll be scoring. Granted, it is tough to do so with the 18-24 year old crowd even as a guy who is their age but it can be done.

Guys are best off getting in the best physical shape possible, dropping the pounds (or putting on the muscles if you are really skinny by nature), and dressing well for starters. Then you talk to chicks.

I agree with all of this. It’s effort to build up a dating pipeline, it’s definitely a big shortcut to use online but the best way is to blend it with going out. The quickest route towards getting laid is to have the woman in front of you from the jump at a night life scene, and the fun part about that is you can blend that into your social scene (albeit with the boys, unless you have a ‘one of the guys’ chick with you, and if she’s truly not a c0ck block then she is a great social proof prop). Then, when you take someone out that you met in a different way, you have a set of places you can go and you should have social proof simply walking in the door. Example, 20 years ago, I used to be on the security team of a guy who now heads security at the most popular bar in our area for college and young adults. It’s great to not only jump the line but it’s even better when she’s locked out end of evening and you can get her back in. That trick sealed the deal for me once so we could say goodbye to her sister. It also is a big help when the staff knows you because the staff does not want a sloppy mess around. When you take her somewhere you don’t know, lean on your skills and command the room. Pay in cash, smile, and hand a five to the bartender. Exhibit nonverbal gestures.

Just a touch further there, it must be the right set of guys going with you. They have to be cool, they have to understand how to work a room. Don’t have that guy with you that is a massive mess for obvious reasons. You can have loud, boisterous friends if they’re charming. Sloppy ones will destroy your situation. I prefer maybe taking two guys tops anyway. This ensures the same mentality and it is how you bond with men.

Lastly, big emphasis on your point on getting in shape and having a large, noticeably strong upper body. You will never understand how much women are attracted to a muscular set of arms and shoulders until you, in fact have arms and shoulders. It cannot be over stated. It will open up women substantially younger than you, provided you act properly.

 

[MatureDJ]

Women have typically lost their looks by age 50. While there are post peak women in their 30s and 40s who are physically attractive, this is rare once a woman reaches her early 50s.

You ain't lying!

Murió Jocelyne Wildenstein, conocida como "Catwoman" por sus múltiples cirugías: qué le pasó

Figura de la alta sociedad neoyorquina, la celebridad falleció en París.

exitoina.perfil.com

 

[SW15]

The quickest route towards getting laid is to have the woman in front of you from the jump at a night life scene

Same night sex off of a random bar approach is an efficient way to get sex.

It doesn't happen that much for bar attendees.

Most men go home from the bars at 1-2:30 AM (assuming a 2 AM closing time) failing to connect sexually with any women that night.

Just a touch further there, it must be the right set of guys going with you. They have to be cool, they have to understand how to work a room. Don’t have that guy with you that is a massive mess for obvious reasons. You can have loud, boisterous friends if they’re charming. Sloppy ones will destroy your situation. I prefer maybe taking two guys tops anyway. This ensures the same mentality and it is how you bond with men.

Bad male wingmen can ruin a night of approaching.

big emphasis on your point on getting in shape and having a large, noticeably strong upper body. You will never understand how much women are attracted to a muscular set of arms and shoulders until you, in fact have arms and shoulders. It cannot be over stated. It will open up women substantially younger than you, provided you act properly.

Yes

 

[Mike32ct]

It's often awkward when 2 people who are in middle age and beyond commit to each other. They lived their best years without the other person present. These are adults with well established patterns in life.

Yeah. My concern about an older couple that meets later in life is they might not have that several month (or better yet year or multi-year) long honeymoon phase where they screw each other silly and form a deep bond.

For example, I’m very high 40s. If I meet somebody of comparable age, it is very unlikely she’d become my ride-or-die. It would end up somewhere between platonic friends, FWB or a roommate situation lol.

 

[Mike32ct]

Back on topic, I don’t think cold approach is completely dead. But I think it’s better to just turn your head and engage women in your vicinity. NOT physically approach her from across the room.

Back in the day, I used to actually circle the inside of the club multiple times per night. Wouldn’t recommend that today lol.

 

[SW15]

I don’t think cold approach is completely dead. But I think it’s better to just turn your head and engage women in your vicinity.

That's likely to be ineffective. @nicksaiz65 is a volume approacher today, doing 30-50 approaches per night.

A man seeking new pussie needs to consider more women than just immediate vicinity women. Also, standing is better for approaching than sitting. Circulating the bar/nightclub is what can lead to opportunities emerging. Being stationary is a terrible idea.

NOT physically approach her from across the room.

Back in the day, I used to actually circle the inside of the club multiple times per night. Wouldn’t recommend that today lol.

In a bar/club, a man is still going to need to move around the place to find women.

Seeking IOIs today is good.

Fewer bars have a stronger approach culture. I think there's more importance on venue selection and knowing the venues in a given city that still have an approach culture.

My concern about an older couple that meets later in life is they might not have that several month (or better yet year or multi-year) long honeymoon phase where they screw each other silly and form a deep bond.

For example, I’m very high 40s. If I meet somebody of comparable age, it is very unlikely she’d become my ride-or-die. It would end up somewhere between platonic friends, FWB or a roommate situation lol.

FWB is acceptable. The others aren't.

Older couples that meet later in life start out with more baggage and no shared history. The shared history means something in middle age and beyond.

 

[MatureDJ]

So I'm 41 years old. I'm practically only attracted to girls between 18 and 25. If cold approaching is out, then what would you do?

Rope or cope ...

 

[MatureDJ]

Back on topic, I don’t think cold approach is completely dead. But I think it’s better to just turn your head and engage women in your vicinity. NOT physically approach her from across the room.

Back in the day, I used to actually circle the inside of the club multiple times per night. Wouldn’t recommend that today lol.

It's OVER for CycloClubCels.

 

[Plinco]

Rope or cope ...

Over the years I've learned not to listen to the nay sayers. Is life really worth giving up for the temporary pleasure of not taking responsibility?

 

[MatureDJ]

Yeah. My concern about an older couple that meets later in life is they might not have that several month (or better yet year or multi-year) long honeymoon phase where they screw each other silly and form a deep bond.

For example, I’m very high 40s. If I meet somebody of comparable age, it is very unlikely she’d become my ride-or-die. It would end up somewhere between platonic friends, FWB or a roommate situation lol.

It's like me with cars - I like to buy a car new, and then let it age, only getting rid of it when it's no longer reliable (at least this was my M.O., but ever since I had early retired and become a passport bro, I still drive my 22 year-old beater, LOL (I'll buy new again when cars are driverless). Of course, I've also driven family hand-me-downs, and once got a real cherry used car that would be the equivalent of a young divorcée that's still hot, LOL - but I would feel depressed actually buying a beater.

 

[tksniper]

Women don't want you to approach them. They want the right guy to escalate when they give him a window. A woman might try to look her best and run into 2-3 guys a day she truly wants to escalate with her.

All the complaints you hear about women hate being approached comes from the random number of penises trying to poke her when she's just hot for her exact type.

That's literally the entire game in a nutshell since time memorial.

Let's stop being desperate fellas. There's no brownie points earned when you "overcome" approach anxiety to pester a woman who is repulsed by you.

The true brownie points goes to guys who works out, improve themselves, and create enough value for themselves that a certain subset of women actually give him windows to escalate.

That's the real hard work.

Overcoming approach anxiety was impressive in 2000. In 2025, becoming a high status man (to some women) is the real measuring stick.

The reason I feel the need to say this is because I see so many posts of young college aged dudes with middling value and status patting themselves on the back for doing 100 approaches with 0 lays.

You're just feeding into their egos at that point. You're raising the price of pvssy without knowing it lol.