"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Met a new chick this weekend...

sandman007

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Met her at a social gathering. Thought she was hot so walked up and started a conversation with her. Her personality matched her looks and we talked for a while. It was pretty obvious the attraction was mutual. She was from out of town and with a group of 4 other girls so I knew there was no chance of taking her home but hoped to lay the groundwork for next time she is in my zip code.

As she and her friends were leaving, she made it a point of coming over and giving me a hug and telling me to look her up on facebook. I did so and now am contemplating sending her a message just to touch base and possibly set up something for the near future.

I was thinking of something along the lines of "I enjoyed meeting you this past weekend. It isn't often I meet a woman who intrigues me, but for whatever reason, you did. You should really consider scheduling another trip down in the near future and we'll have a chance to get better acquainted."

She does in fact, intrigue me and not many women do but I'm wondering if it would be a mistake to tell her this in the initial conversation. On one hand, I can't imagine a woman being bothered by such a thing but at the same time, I wonder if it might make her think I'm a little more interested than I should be?

FYI...she isn't the only one I'm corresponding with so there's no one-itis here but there is indeed an intangible about this girl that makes me want to get to know her better so don't want to blow it.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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B

BeDJ

Guest
When in doubt, keep it light and playful.

Hey, I'm the sexy hunk you met at the party.

After some exchanges, get her number to progress the communication further.
 

Jitterbug

Master Don Juan
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She does in fact, intrigue me and not many women do but I'm wondering if it would be a mistake to tell her this in the initial conversation. On one hand, I can't imagine a woman being bothered by such a thing but at the same time, I wonder if it might make her think I'm a little more interested than I should be?
Show, don't tell.

Work out a meetup, then show her in person.

If you tell her now, you're making it less fun for her.
 

The Duke

Master Don Juan
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Sandman- your message sounds very "professional", almost like you are seeking a candidate for a job.

Keep if short, fun, and flirty. Look around on her facebook and see if she has some corny picture you can tease her about.
 

Bokanovsky

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sandman007 said:
I was thinking of something along the lines of "I enjoyed meeting you this past weekend. It isn't often I meet a woman who intrigues me, but for whatever reason, you did. You should really consider scheduling another trip down in the near future and we'll have a chance to get better acquainted."
Too elaborate. Plus, you are explaining yourself, which you should never do when talking to a woman. A simple "hey, it was nice meeting you last weekend. what's new?" would be much better.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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pdx1138

Master Don Juan
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agreed on all...keep yourself mysterious!

Though friending on FB kinda neutralizes it.

Definitely do not say what you were considering though.
 

thirdtimescharm

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Do not friend on FB. You only met her once, you need to keep the mystery going.

I'm not clear on how far apart you live but telling her to "consider scheduling a trip down" seems to indicate that you aren't willing to go to see her.

If you want to see her again, you need to talk to her asap and try to schedule some mutual meeting. Something like "really enjoyed meeting you (and insert something personal about her that you talked about, from FB, or even how much you liked her boots), *we* need to get together for some one on one time."

If she responds positively, that's all you need to know.
 
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