Met a HOT woman online tonight

[My Name is Nobody]

I've decided on not calling to confirm.

 

[amoka]

I'm just amazed by how NOBODY ever demanded the picture of this HOT woman...

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I'm not posting her picture on the internet... that's where I draw the line. Believe me, she's fine. The only person I trust with a picture around here is Francisco.. I will PM the picture to him later.

Anyway, I am about to head off for the date.

 

[miba]

howd it go?

 

[iqqi]

maybe he got some.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

It went OK.

Met up at the place and introduced myself. We went and ordered the drinks.

We sat and talked for a good 30 minutes. I made her laugh and she said I am really funny. No awkward silences and I didn't say anything stupid that I regret.

When my coffee was done I said "well I gotta go" and I stood up. I walked her out and opened my arms and she gave me a nice hug and that was it.

I told her we should go out again soon and she seemed positive.

So what's the next move?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

What do you guys think?

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...
I told her we should go out again soon and she seemed positive...

"Seemed" positive? That sounds a bit different than a definite "yes" along with a suggestion of an activity or venue.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

"Seemed" positive? That sounds a bit different than a definite "yes" along with a suggestion of an activity or venue.

I probably should have suggested something right then and there. But I can just call her in a couple days no big deal right? I can't even do anything until the weekend.

Clear some space in your inbox man!

 

[cedd]

I told her we should go out again soon and she seemed positive

You should have kept that kind of statement for AFTER date (2 or 3 days later) !
Just say that you enjoyed the meeting and leave. From that, you have to find her IL out and wait.

I think through your posts you invested too much energy and brainstorming for such a common date (even shes so-called hot). Like Fd said, "Slown down" and go find other alternative.

cheers

 

[My Name is Nobody]

You should have kept that kind of statement for AFTER date (2 or 3 days later) !

I think through your posts you invested too much energy and brainstorming for such a common date (even shes so-called hot). Like Fd said, "Slown down" and go find other alternative.

cheers

Interesting.. Francisco thinks I should have asked her for the next date, and Cedd thinks I shouldn't have even mentioned another date.

So which is it?

 

[amoka]

It went OK.

Met up at the place and introduced myself. We went and ordered the drinks.

We sat and talked for a good 30 minutes. I made her laugh and she said I am really funny. No awkward silences and I didn't say anything stupid that I regret.

When my coffee was done I said "well I gotta go" and I stood up. I walked her out and opened my arms and she gave me a nice hug and that was it.

I told her we should go out again soon and she seemed positive.

So what's the next move?

It seems like you just made yourself a friend.

 

[cedd]

Interesting.. Francisco thinks I should have asked her for the next date, and Cedd thinks I shouldn't have even mentioned another date.

So which is it?

I have no way of knowing but, by experience, dont set up a date on a date.

You should asked her for a date AFTER date. Cause if you set up a date at the end of the date, she might be ok though, BUT 10 minutes later she could regret and theres great chance she flakes on the 2nd date.
Waiting and patience work in your favor.

cheers

 

[My Name is Nobody]

It seems like you just made yourself a friend.

What should I have done then?

 

[My Name is Nobody]

I have no way of knowing but, by experience, dont set up a date on a date.

You should asked her for a date AFTER date. Cause if you set up a date at the end of the date, she might be ok though, BUT 10 minutes later she could regret and theres great chance she flakes on the 2nd date.
Waiting and patience work in your favor.

cheers

So I compromised. I mentioned the next date to her but didn't set any details. I feel pretty good about getting it we'll see.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Interesting.. Francisco thinks I should have asked her for the next date, and Cedd thinks I shouldn't have even mentioned another date.

So which is it?

What guys don't realize about the "2-3 day rule" is that it only works with women who have a high interest level in you. If you haven't gotten to that point, waiting multiple days will make it easier for her to forget you. In your situation MNIN, you aren't even sure if she's interested, women who are interested will do things to let you know, primarily they are forthright with their schedule in order to see you again.

 

[cedd]

don't rush things. you are not desperate, aren't you ?
i agree with Fd but here we don't know what he said or act during that date.
did he play a good game or not ? did she show some interest in him ? etc.
Can he just say shes interested ? I don"t think so...So the only way to know her IL is to ask her out.
But ask her out at the end of the date can not demonstrate shes interested.

Wait and Live your life. Don't contact her on the chat. Text her maybe 1 or 2 times. Wait for her to contact you ! (if she will...)
After a couple of days, CALL HER, have some fun on the phone (keep it simple and short) and ask her out by joining you at some activities.
If she declines and says "No", "I'm Sorry but...", "i don't know, I will confirm you..." or others BS then you'll get your response. Time to Next her.
If she accepts then you maybe have to play some confort game to avoid the flake.
hope it helps.

cheers

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

don't rush things. you are not desperate, aren't you ?
i agree with Fd but here we don't know what he said or act during that date.
did he play a good game or not ? did she show some interest in him ? etc.
Can he just say shes interested ? I don"t think so...So the only way to know her IL is to ask her out.
But ask her out at the end of the date can not demonstrate shes interested....

The problem is that guys don't get the woman into the state of wanting to see him again while they are chit-chatting. They're so busy being a mystery and aloof, the woman never increases her attraction to them.

Then guy's attempt to follow "the rules" and wait a few days as not to seem too anxious or too interested. In doing that without indicating some type interest beyond chatting, the woman at best puts the guy into the LJBF zone. Then he doesn't contact her for a few days and by that time her interest could drop so low that she doesn't even want to see the guy.

Of course there are exceptions. There are times when the guy carpetbombs the woman's voicemail or email with texts. Not cool in any case. Even though a woman needs to know you are interested, there isn't any benefit for trying to play catch-up after the fact by attempting to force her to communicate with you.

Also, there are times that she will be busy and she'll let you know too. Disregarding that message will put a guy even deeper into a hole. Again, if she's interested she will let you know when she'd be free in order to see you. This won't happen if you aren't doing what you should when the two of you are face to face.

 

[My Name is Nobody]

Well here is something that will make you scratch your head.

I just looked at her profile and she changed her location to the "Virgin Islands".

Maybe the guy who said she is a scammer is onto something.

 

[MikeEdward1973]

What should I have done then?

I do a huge amount of Internet dating. I'm going to put up a post in the next week or two that I think some folks here might find helpful that touches on getting first dates from Internet platforms. I'm not very good at getting 2nd dates, but I do get a lot of 1st dates.

But I would say that Francisco is right. What I've found is that if they really do like you, and want to see you again, there is a certain pattern that emerges.

Usually, they hang out for a lot longer than 30 minutes (I've found 1 to 2 hours, if not more), if they are really into you. Although I do understand that in this case you decided to end it first.

Second, the date usually concludes with a kiss rather than a hug (although that is admittedly, in my experience at least, more probable if there was some alcohol involved, which is why I'm not a great fan of coffee, although there are plenty of guys here who are 'talented' enough so they can get a kiss whether they're meeting for coffee or anything else for that matter).

Finally, when you say you'd like to meet up a again, they do in fact start talking about their calender for the next week, so you can actually figure out right then and there when a good time & location might be. This is, of course, assuming that they like you enough to want to see you again.