Met a girl for arrange marriage. Need advice.

[Nis786]

Hi guys,I am from India.


I am employed in government sector at top post. I broke up with my gf 1 year back & was not ready for marriage but then for my parents sake i agreed to meet the girl they selected for arrange marriage.
So I went to meet her with families of both side,but luckily we got chance to sit alone for half an hour to talk about our liking & expectations. She was quite a fast forward & she even told me that she says what she feels. Her family is not financially strong & she is their only daughter & she is sports teacher at some reputed school. She was quite good looking but little overweight. She also said that many guys try to hit on her,so she make them brother. She also said that she was in serious relationship 2 years back but that guy cheated on her,so it was ended.

anyway we had a nice talk & our wavelength also seemed to matched. We exchanged numbers. Later we decided to take it slowly & try to know each other more as it was only first meeting.

Later on the day,she messaged me that it was a lovely meeting & she liked it & would like me to visit her city in free time to spend some time. I agreed.

Next day itself while we were talking on phone,she told me that she discussed with her family & they think marriage should be between financially equal family,otherwise later it may be problem. I said her that me & my family are only looking for a nice girl & i will be fully supportive towards her career. but she said if she can't go against her parents & if she wanted to do love marriage she would have done earlier.

i said if you don't like me,tell me directly. She said she don't like any one. Family forced her to meet,so she met. so i asked her about our conversation that day & she replied that it was all true & nice but now she can't proceed & told me that we can be friends,which i declined. And,then we stopped talking & she blocked me from social network....all these happened in gap of 48 hours.

The thing i don't understand what happened suddenly because she herself gave her phone number & said we should meet & proceed slowly & she also like me.

Can you guys tell me did i made any mistake? because i am failed to understand sudden change in her view.

Sorry for essay . But i needed to write full story to seek right advice. Please help me out guys.

Edited :- I forgot to mention that when she texted me after meeting, i also told her that i too liked meeting her & quite liked her.

 

[LiveYourDream]

Next day itself while we were talking on phone,she told me that she discussed with her family & they think marriage should be between financially equal family,otherwise later it may be problem. I said her that me & my family are only looking for a nice girl & i will be fully supportive towards her career. but she said if she can't go against her parents & if she wanted to do love marriage she would have done earlier.

You answered your own question already. See bold above. She was fine with you. Her parents had a change of heart after you met with her. She is not interested in going against her parents' wishes, therefore you are no longer an option for her. It's not personal from her or her parents really. It's her parent's beliefs that disqualified you. Do not try to change them or her. Just move on.

 

[Bible_Belt]

Stand up to your parents. Tell them you can pick out your own women.

 

[logicallefty]

I would raise the orange flag and try getting together with her one more time. But if she flakes, there is your answer.

 

[Asmodeus]

Arranged marriages are an anachronism... They are not only that, but I believe they are foolish.
You know almost nothing about her, you did not have the time to actually form any kind of real bond with her other than simple infatuation. How are you going to build a marriage with somebody when you go into it blindfolded? And it sounds to me like you and her are already having conflict. Imagine how she will be if you are actually married to her when you are going to have to deal with her every day.
Tell your parents that you decide your own fate. That you will pick your own woman to marry. Enforce your will upon your life, and do not let others enforce theirs upon it.

 

[salinechow]

Move.

 

[MatureDJ]

I am going to be the contrarian here, but it seems that the social schema of the arranged marriage is a great way to control female hypergamy. Being forced to marry someone against her will is the exact opposite of the hypergamous zoo that is today's mating scene.

 

[Julian]

thank you come again

 

[zinc4]

Mixed feelings.... Arranged marriages have proven to last and prevent women from being *****s and slutting around.

I think it's a culture thing that we in the US are just not accustomed to.

It does appear to produce much better behaved women though. You can't argue with that. The complete opposite of feminism.

 

[GetFit66]

Nothing indicates she was ever into you, she was getting to know you, perhaps it could have become something bigger but before it had a chance her parents cut it off.

You started pleading she blocked you, I don't see the issue.

Why are all of you guys so confused?

Opression breeds retards. Neither the system in the US nor arranged marriages work. A lack of pressure breeds fools.

 

[Nis786]

Thank you guys for replying to this thread & giving me your perspectives. I moved on already because overthinking about this will not do any good.

 

[asid12345678]

My parents were married like that. They've had their share of issues but have been together for 31 years now and absolutely love each other. It was my mothers first relationship. So statistics are in favour of arranged marriage, whether the western society believes in it or not.

I don't think arranged marriage(or loved for that matter) is for me, but for people living In a society where arranged marriage thrives and gives people a family and not just a woman you find very attractive, it's not a bad option.