"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Messed up

Kallaz

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So... I decided to get a number from a girl in one of my summer classes, and after talking for a while I did. I was interested in her but I really had no idea how to ask her out because I have never dated before and on top of that I can't drive yet either so I felt kind of insecure.

Anyway, since I was feeling good about her I was a dumb*** and called her after the next day, some time late, she didn't pick up and she texted me instead. We texted for a minute, and man i was saying some stupid stuff, makes me wanna punch myself....well she just stopped replying. and being a S-class AFC I called her again.. she didn't pickup and I just said screw it.. I f'ed up.

I figured i would just work on my own personal development, learn to drive and stuff before worry about women..yeah, but what am gonna do when I see her in class on tuesday?
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Kallaz

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okyoureabeast said:
.

Work on your inner game (work out, start new hobbies, etc) and then the confidence you get from that will help you tremendously when you talk to her or anyone else again.
Yeah I plan to.

bigneil said:
Confident persistence.
Care to explain in more detail?
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Kallaz said:
but what am gonna do when I see her in class on tuesday?
Treat her like you always treated her. Don't make it weird by changing how you behave.

More importantly, don't worry about how she perceives you. Don't think about seeing her in class tuesday. That's a small thing. The big thing is improving yourself.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Kallaz

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Treat her like you always treated her. Don't make it weird by changing how you behave.

More importantly, don't worry about how she perceives you. Don't think about seeing her in class tuesday. That's a small thing. The big thing is improving yourself.
Okay.

bigneil said:
The only thing I have an issue with is the option part...I mean I only have two summer classes and she's the hottest girl out of each so I really don't feel like getting interested in others..maybe I should talk to other girls around the school then.

Also the article says pursue and pursue, so should I call her again? Since she is my "only" option and I've never done this before I feel like I'll come off as needy.
 

Kallaz

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update:
Past few days, went the same as usual but I was more outgoing. I started really talking to 2 other girls in my first class as friends, got a number because I felt like it.

Went to art class, talked the the girl I liked and some other people, girls and guys. Walked with her after class. She asked why I was following her, and instead of cracking a joke I was blunt and just said I liked her. I think she was surprised for a second and then she said "why? I don't even know you." I replied that she was cute. talked to her some more and said we should hangout and she was like "yeah" and asked me where I lived and stuff.

And now... I don't know what to do I guess I should find a way to make plans
but if she if doesn't pickup again...

whatever.
 

Tiguere

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well you verbalize it instead of showing it through actions. call her when you in the mood and get to know her. dont ask her out since you already see her at school and all you have to do is take her to the cafeteria and have a date there.

but call her and build rapport and trust.
 

mahoney

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Kallaz said:
yeah, but what am gonna do when I see her in class on tuesday?
for "i messed up with a phone call how do i act when i see her in class" try to think more about something like if you ran 100m race every saturday, but one saturday on the way to track you messed up and didnt tie your laces properly and fell over

when you get to track, with your laces now done properly, how do you run the race?

just the same as the other days

if something minor-bad happens, you don't draw attention to it, you don't dwell on it, and you don't let it affect your race. its not like you tore your achilles, you just messed up the laces
 

Kallaz

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Tiguere said:
well you verbalize it instead of showing it through actions. call her when you in the mood and get to know her. dont ask her out since you already see her at school and all you have to do is take her to the cafeteria and have a date there.

but call her and build rapport and trust.
Ok, she brings her lunch though, I think I may just call her before a weekend to set something up.

mahoney said:
for "i messed up with a phone call how do i act when i see her in class" try to think more about something like if you ran 100m race every saturday, but one saturday on the way to track you messed up and didnt tie your laces properly and fell over

when you get to track, with your laces now done properly, how do you run the race?

just the same as the other days

if something minor-bad happens, you don't draw attention to it, you don't dwell on it, and you don't let it affect your race. its not like you tore your achilles, you just messed up the laces
Heh, cool explanation.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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