"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Messed up

Kallaz

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So... I decided to get a number from a girl in one of my summer classes, and after talking for a while I did. I was interested in her but I really had no idea how to ask her out because I have never dated before and on top of that I can't drive yet either so I felt kind of insecure.

Anyway, since I was feeling good about her I was a dumb*** and called her after the next day, some time late, she didn't pick up and she texted me instead. We texted for a minute, and man i was saying some stupid stuff, makes me wanna punch myself....well she just stopped replying. and being a S-class AFC I called her again.. she didn't pickup and I just said screw it.. I f'ed up.

I figured i would just work on my own personal development, learn to drive and stuff before worry about women..yeah, but what am gonna do when I see her in class on tuesday?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Kallaz

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okyoureabeast said:
.

Work on your inner game (work out, start new hobbies, etc) and then the confidence you get from that will help you tremendously when you talk to her or anyone else again.
Yeah I plan to.

bigneil said:
Confident persistence.
Care to explain in more detail?
 

Mantis Toboggan

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Kallaz said:
but what am gonna do when I see her in class on tuesday?
Treat her like you always treated her. Don't make it weird by changing how you behave.

More importantly, don't worry about how she perceives you. Don't think about seeing her in class tuesday. That's a small thing. The big thing is improving yourself.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

Read more...

Kallaz

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Mantis Toboggan said:
Treat her like you always treated her. Don't make it weird by changing how you behave.

More importantly, don't worry about how she perceives you. Don't think about seeing her in class tuesday. That's a small thing. The big thing is improving yourself.
Okay.

bigneil said:
The only thing I have an issue with is the option part...I mean I only have two summer classes and she's the hottest girl out of each so I really don't feel like getting interested in others..maybe I should talk to other girls around the school then.

Also the article says pursue and pursue, so should I call her again? Since she is my "only" option and I've never done this before I feel like I'll come off as needy.
 

Kallaz

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update:
Past few days, went the same as usual but I was more outgoing. I started really talking to 2 other girls in my first class as friends, got a number because I felt like it.

Went to art class, talked the the girl I liked and some other people, girls and guys. Walked with her after class. She asked why I was following her, and instead of cracking a joke I was blunt and just said I liked her. I think she was surprised for a second and then she said "why? I don't even know you." I replied that she was cute. talked to her some more and said we should hangout and she was like "yeah" and asked me where I lived and stuff.

And now... I don't know what to do I guess I should find a way to make plans
but if she if doesn't pickup again...

whatever.
 

Tiguere

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well you verbalize it instead of showing it through actions. call her when you in the mood and get to know her. dont ask her out since you already see her at school and all you have to do is take her to the cafeteria and have a date there.

but call her and build rapport and trust.
 

mahoney

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Kallaz said:
yeah, but what am gonna do when I see her in class on tuesday?
for "i messed up with a phone call how do i act when i see her in class" try to think more about something like if you ran 100m race every saturday, but one saturday on the way to track you messed up and didnt tie your laces properly and fell over

when you get to track, with your laces now done properly, how do you run the race?

just the same as the other days

if something minor-bad happens, you don't draw attention to it, you don't dwell on it, and you don't let it affect your race. its not like you tore your achilles, you just messed up the laces
 

Kallaz

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Tiguere said:
well you verbalize it instead of showing it through actions. call her when you in the mood and get to know her. dont ask her out since you already see her at school and all you have to do is take her to the cafeteria and have a date there.

but call her and build rapport and trust.
Ok, she brings her lunch though, I think I may just call her before a weekend to set something up.

mahoney said:
for "i messed up with a phone call how do i act when i see her in class" try to think more about something like if you ran 100m race every saturday, but one saturday on the way to track you messed up and didnt tie your laces properly and fell over

when you get to track, with your laces now done properly, how do you run the race?

just the same as the other days

if something minor-bad happens, you don't draw attention to it, you don't dwell on it, and you don't let it affect your race. its not like you tore your achilles, you just messed up the laces
Heh, cool explanation.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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