Messed Up With a Girl I Was Seeing

[rawson-1992]

Basically, the situation is I was seeing a girl for around two months (not official). Everything going well, to be honest she was chasing me which meant my interest level was steady throughout. Saw each other a couple of times a week, she'd stay at mine, we'd go out for food or whatever.

Anyway, last weekend I was a drunk idiot and kissed a girl I didn't know in the club and she found out, that same night after she found out she left the club to another place with another guy (after she found out). Fair enough, she was getting me back. I felt bad about it and it was a stupid mistake.

Since then, obviously my interest level has rose and I realize I do like her (maybe I don't, it's probably male ego) and want to get her back.

Basically she is saying she genuinely really liked me and told her parents about me etc, but after been messed about by two guys in her previous relationship, now i've lost her trust she can't change her mind and that's it. She said maybe something could happen in the future as we get on but for now she thinks us seeing each other more than friends can't really happen.

After that, I basically said yes, fair enough and apologised for doing what I did and went ghost. Not really had anything direct but through group chat (we have a group with quite a few of us from previous when we were just mates) and she said she wants us all to go for food next week?

Don't really know how to proceed from here..

 

[Fireballs]

Did you admit to it? I would have denied it..

 

[rawson-1992]

Did you admit to it? I would have denied it..

Caught red-handed by her friend

 

[nyc123]

she might come around later. play it cool. you did good by going ghost and not being needy.

 

[marmel75]

You weren't exclusive. How did you mess up?

This was on you. Obviously you didn't let her know you were seeing other people and you had her assuming you were exclusive by your actions.

The play here is to simply tell her you guys were not exclusive and you did nothing wrong, although since you made it seem like you were exclusive she might not go for it. Whatever, make your expectations clearer next time.

 

[CMNILS87]

So she found out she's not the only girl you're seeing and have options....runs off and hooks up with another guy out of jealousy? Immaturity. How can she get jealous when you're not exclusive and you haven't had the talk. Meh, find another chick

 

[Poon King]

Did you admit to it? I would have denied it..

This.

Also, never acknowledge or admit to anything you do while drunk. Being drunk is a free pass to have a laps in memory and judgement. Women are the submissive gender. If you make the issue seem trivial she will often shrug it off too. By making the issue seem trivial, it outlines that you were not serious enough with her to be fully committed.. therefore, she has more work to do to win you over completely.

Her loss of interest has less to do with you kissing another girl and more to do with you being such an apologetic beta about the situation. Sh!t happens and if she is too insecure to work through things then she is not worth commitment.

 

[blind_one]

On a good day I would laugh at her face, since this jealousy power play is weak as fvck.
On a normal day I would just shrug it off, since we aren't exclusive.
I would not apologize for doing what I want, ESPECIALLY if I were not exclusive with a chick.

 

[RangerMIke]

You two are not exclusive, you should be seeing and hooking up with other women, and if she is doing the same with other guys.... so what, don't let your ego slide to jealousy. Nothing wrong with kissing that chick: it is screwed up that you were too drunk to know what you were doing.