"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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messaging question

CostaDeSol

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I met this hb 7.5 in summer school. After not seeing her in 5 weeks she contacts me on Facebook asking me how am i. I respond by telling her I'm fine and then ask her how her semester is going. but she doesn't reply back to answer my question.


has this ever happened to you? She initiated contact but then just left me hanging.

I want to know if you guys thinks she is just looking for attention or is it just her way of telling me i should make a move and ask her out since she initiated contact.

The biggest IOI i got from her was that she was impressed with my academic record and would ask me repeatedly for advice. I don't actually think thats an IOI.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Chamber36

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well if she asks you for advice then you have value in her eyes.
If she initiates contact with you then she wants your attention. But don't give her too much attention or she will somehow be satisfied and probably leave you hanging. So I would ask her directly if she wants to hang out.

If she gives you an excuse just wait for her to initiate contact with you again. Either that or she agrees. Then you wait and see if she flakes. In which case you do the same(wait for her to contact you again).
 
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TSorry man, but that was not an IOI nor was it good that she stopped responding on facebook. What you should have said when she how you are was something along the lines of "I've been great even though I haven't gotten to hang out with my little summer school buddy ;)"
That is just flirty enough to show her a little bit of interest (acting UNinterested isn't always the right thing to do) that may make her feel comfortable enough to start flirting on the off chance she was interested. Also instead of saying "how is your semester going" you could have tried "So after all that time in summer school I take it your semester is going well at Harvard ;)"
 

CostaDeSol

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Chamber36 said:
well if she asks you for advice then you have value in her eyes.
If she initiates contact with you then she wants your attention. But don't give her too much attention or she will somehow be satisfied and probably leave you hanging. So I would ask her directly if she wants to hang out.

If she gives you an excuse just wait for her to initiate contact with you again. Either that or she agrees. Then you wait and see if she flakes. In which case you do the same(wait for her to contact you again).
I believe you are right when you say that I have value in her eyes and that I should be direct in asking her out. thanks for the input.
 

CostaDeSol

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universitycharmer said:
TSorry man, but that was not an IOI nor was it good that she stopped responding on facebook. What you should have said when she how you are was something along the lines of "I've been great even though I haven't gotten to hang out with my little summer school buddy ;)"
That is just flirty enough to show her a little bit of interest (acting UNinterested isn't always the right thing to do) that may make her feel comfortable enough to start flirting on the off chance she was interested. Also instead of saying "how is your semester going" you could have tried "So after all that time in summer school I take it your semester is going well at Harvard ;)"
thanks for the example.

I agree with you in that I could have played that differently. I'm not use to being aggressive with girls in messages like that.

I guess i had assumed that she would be the flirty one. That is something I will have to work on.
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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