Message to Guys who are Unsuccessful with Women

[SinJester]

You kind of had a point but the way you tried to get it across was basically ridiculous. "You suck, I am god, bow to me, do what I say without questioning it". We are people not robots, and we don't even know you so we don't actually know how successful you are.

That aside many people need to accept that they are NOT good with women. That's a massive blow to the ego, especially since guys can here and just read articles and form a strong identity that they are good with women. However there is a lot of comfort in the fact that extremely few men are good with women. The ones who are have no idea what they are doing, most guys just 'get lucky', or rather they just find girls that are right for them or go for girls who are attracted to them.

Like I mentioned above the trap is that this site can make you think you are good with women just by reading, and while in real life you actually aren't. That's why cold approaches are regarded by some people as so important. You get real experience grounded in reality, and it helps get rid of your ego because your constantly putting yourself on the line and are sure to get rejected sometimes. Hey I've been in that trap. It doesn't last.

Mavrik, I disagree with you. What people around you say matters ALOT.

The older more experienced I get, the more I understand that. If people say you're creepy, you're creepy. If they look up to you, you are the sh*t.

Dont lie to yourself man, you know how it is.

There's one big question that is left out. That is WHY do you come accross as creepy? It is probably because you aren't congruent with yourself, are in your head too much and aren't authentic. All that stems directly from caring what people think of you too much. So advice like this is counter productive. You should ask what people think of you and work constructively on their criticism but not take it to heart because they don't know the real you. If people find you creepy you need to find out why, but in most cases it is going to be what I said above.

If people think you are creepy it's because they percieve you as being creep. If people think you are the sh!t they percieve you as being the sh!t. You can't prove as a fact that someone is or isn't. People's opinions are going to differ depending on who it is and what they value. So you can't directly chase being the sh!t, you can't describe what it's like to be the sh!t, you can only imitate the symptoms of it. Which is basically what the whole community tries to do. What I'm trying to get at is that you can't worry too much what people think of you, its counterproductive, and you can't directly work at getting people to like you. If you do I bet it doesn't work and it will be fake anyway.

So ask people how they percieve you and see if what they say is true and if you can work on them. Don't get upset about it though because whatever they see isn't really you. Still if you completely accept yourself, are authentic and act through your own intentions I highly doubt anyone will find you creepy. I think that will lead to you 'becoming the sh!t'.

Don't EVER let anyone define you. If that's what you want to do, then YOU are a failure.

What people really should do is accept themselves totally. Once you accept yourself, you can actually fall in love with yourself. Don't ever let someone tell you who you are, what you can do, and take full responsibility for yourself and all your decisions. Every single decision!

Everyone should tell themselves on a daily basis that they accept themselves.

Do not ever take what anyone tells you and accept it as truth and fact. You define yourself. If you live life listening to what people say you are, you'll be changing into someone new on a daily basis. Once you've accepted yourself, you won't worry about whether someone else accepts you because it won't matter because you already have.

Be a strong and capable force to be reckoned with. Do now catch and hold on to anyone's definition of yourself. I said:

DO NOT ACCEPT ANYONE'S DEFINITION OF WHO YOU ARE!!!

DO NOT!!!

Listen to this man, he knows what he is talking about.

You need to accept who you are and love yourself. But, you also need to recognize what you are not good at. Then, make those changes to improve yourself.

True as well. You need to accept your flaws as well.

Realizing what you're not good at is part of accepting yourself.

As above, but you can always change that.

It does not matter to me what people think of me. It just doesn't, and I could care less if they think I'm the sh!t or if I'm a creep because no one else defines me, but because I accept myself completely (flaws and all) I never come off creepy.

Ahh yes this was what I was trying to get at, just taking a lot longer to get at.

Mavrick is right.

Look at happy and unhappy people. Happy people are happy with themselves and accept themselves no matter what.

Unhappy people are not happy with themselves and are always needing to show other people how great they are because they care so much about what other people think.

Happy people are attractive people. Happy people aren't creepy. People who are trying to prove themselves are much more likely to come across as creepy, lower value, uncool and unattractive.

yep, and if girls tell you that you're ugly, you're ugly. Fix it, any way you have to, cuz beauty is NOT in the eye of the beholder, it's the pretty much the same from girl to girl.

The main thing holding guys back on here is looks, I guarantee, and most are to embarrassed to confront reality.

Please everyone ignore this guy. Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder.

All the ugly guys who get attractive girls are not bothered about their looks.

That's the key. She will be comfortable with your flaws if you are. She will overlook them if you do.


Ok I know a re-quoted a lot of this thread but I was just sorting out everything that is true and helpful.

 

[zinc64]

whether you are nerdy, geeky, creepy, virgin, AFC, loser, ect, whatever you feel you are or what you have been called, you NEED TO ACCEPT IT AS A FACT

i was the worst everything when i was 17, and at the time, my #1 mistake was not accepting that i was a failure.........when i opened my eyes and realized that i am a failure in the dating world, that is when my best changes happened

i now speak down to all of you as a CERTIFIED PLAYER/DON JUAN

i do speak down to you, its what u deserve for being the failures that you are.........i know u like having your hand help by the "nice don juans" on here, but i will tell u, from personal experience, u will NEVER improve unless you are told straight up that you are at fault for your own failure

i dont want to hear the ones that i am addressing tell me that im bragging, that im flaming, that im this or that, cuz this is not even about ME, its about YOU

FACT: you are a joke when it comes to having women in your life, and I am a KING, so i WILL look down on you, but as a good king, i want to help you all as much as possible

FACT: all unsuccessful men have to listen to successful men, without a single doubt.........it needs to be "yes sir" and that is it, AN UNSUCCESSFUL MAN CANNOT QUESTION A MAN WHO HAS GOOD SUCCESS

FACT: all EXCUSES need to stop now........i dont care if u think shes a slut, i dont care if u think shes an airhead, i dont care if shes not intellectual enough for u...............FVCK HER BRAINS OUT BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT SHE IS THERE FOR, IN YOUR CASE - you are an unsuccessful guy with women, u are to make NO excuses, and you are to get success first, talk later


SUCCEED FIRST, TALK LATER

SUCCEED FIRST, TALK LATER

SUCCEED FIRST, TALK LATER

SUCCEED FIRST, TALK LATER

SUCCEED FIRST, TALK LATER


you, whoever you are, as an usuccessful man, show RESPECT to the man who knows what he is doing and trying to help you.......dont show any disobedience to a man who is sharing his well-practiced successful knowledge with you and trying to anonymously help you get ahead in life when it comes to getting women


take ALL advice given to you, and apply it----dont even take the time to analyze it or question it, because u are not allowed to!!!!!!!! JUST APPLY IT AND REPORT BACK WITH RESULTS





I think i have seen dozens of guys here stuck in their own AFCness because they are too stubborn to listen to advice of seasoned don juans, the above is for all of them

if you flame me, you'll prove yourself to be hateful chump that you are

good day to all

lol...it's hard to imagine that people like this really exist.

 

[positivity_injection]

to the guys who are replying to this thread with hate, are u successful with women, or just bitter than i am talking down to you? (when it comes to women, u will never learn and grow if u dont get a dose of TOUGH LOVE).........advice that sounds like hand holding (aka Mavrick), while good in intent, absolutely does nothing to motivate the unsuccessful guys to be better

Instead, Mavrick's advice sounds more like "accept that u are a loser and celebtrate it and love yourself" - AHH HELL NO

MY advice is: "accept that you are a loser who is unsuccessful with women, start listening to and respecting men who ARE successful with women, without questioning a single thing they say. Then take the advice, apply it, improve, and keep improving through trial and error and experience, so that one day you can look in the mirror and LAUGH at how much of a loser you USED TO BE and how successful you are now"

i was there before, until i accepted the fact that i was a total chump, and started changing myself to get to where i am now

#1 mistake that the huge chumps do is they ignore real life tough love advice frome xperienced guy, and only listen to other chumps who are holding their hands, or "nice" don juans like Mavrick who don't know how to help properly

 

[dannyegg4575]

positivity_injection, your name is positive injection is it not? in which way is your post positive?

I have to backup Mavrick here, not that he needs it. To newcomers or whoever doesn't have a clue about the dynamics of relationship do not need more of their self esteem trampled on. I know it feels great telling people to smarten up and slapping them on the head but personally, i find that more of a selfish agenda than to be helping anyone. If you've read some of Mavrick posts, you'll see that he slaps people around when after a couple of helpful advice is offered and still no results. This my friend, is tough love.

No one needs you to come into their life when they're down to step on them some more. All they really need is a hand stretched out asking them to get back up. You've been there before. You know how it felt. When someone tells you something you don't want to hear, did it help you?

Yes, you've gotten yourself out of the rut and that's good for you. But how did you go through the process? Did you not wanted someone to listen to you? did you not wanted someone to guide you?

Your intentions are good, don't get me wrong. I know that a lot of guys here want to give tough love. Well, learn first to listen before being heard.

 

[Touchout]

Yes, you've gotten yourself out of the rut and that's good for you. But how did you go through the process?

Like This:

MY advice is: "accept that you are a loser who is unsuccessful with women, start listening to and respecting men who ARE successful with women, without questioning a single thing they say. Then take the advice, apply it, improve, and keep improving through trial and error and experience, so that one day you can look in the mirror and LAUGH at how much of a loser you USED TO BE and how successful you are now"

I've been watching the Blueprint, this is basically what Tyler did to get good...IT WORKS

I've been here forever (under different names) and I'm only 18, and up until recently I thought I was a pimp. But the more i actually GO OUT (something not many people here are doing ) the more I realize the truth in posts like positivity's. I've been a CHUMP, and I'm sure many people here are in a similar way as me, possessing all of the knowledge on this site and others but never actually using it.

It's time for sosuave to WAKE UP and return to the glory days. There is room for both Mavrick (someone with experience) and positivity_injection (someone with experience) to teach us using whatever style they choose. you don't have to listen but don't flame him without seeing the merit in his posts...

 

[dannyegg4575]

I did not flame PI, I simply point out that that is not the way you define helping someone.

I know his intention is good and that is to get people to wake up, get up on their asses and do something about their pain. i don't see anything wrong with that.

But how is it helping someone when you call them a loser and telling them to accept that they are? Does that not make you feel all powerful and to make someone feel less than you?

Touchout, accept that you tried and failed. Do not accept what someone tells you who or what you are. Only you are responsible for that.

 

[slaog]

to the guys who are replying to this thread with hate, are u successful with women, or just bitter than i am talking down to you? (when it comes to women, u will never learn and grow if u dont get a dose of TOUGH LOVE).........advice that sounds like hand holding (aka Mavrick), while good in intent, absolutely does nothing to motivate the unsuccessful guys to be better

Instead, Mavrick's advice sounds more like "accept that u are a loser and celebtrate it and love yourself" - AHH HELL NO

No, Mavrick was just saying love yourself no matter what.

Everybody can improve and it's best to recognise you're faults and try to improve them but always love yourself regardless.

 

[Touchout]

But how is it helping someone when you call them a loser and telling them to accept that they are? Does that not make you feel all powerful and to make someone feel less than you?

Touchout, accept that you tried and failed. Do not accept what someone tells you who or what you are. Only you are responsible for that.

Yes, this I can definitely agree with

No, Mavrick was just saying love yourself no matter what.

Everybody can improve and it's best to recognise you're faults and try to improve them but always love yourself regardless.

I can also agree with this.

You are absolutely right dannyegg, that is not helping the people, but I feel PI's point is there is too much coddling and not enough tough love. To improve, you have to look at your faults as slaog said, however when coddled people feel content, like it was only a "bad set" or... even worse... just won't approach because "there happy the way they are".

So while you are all right, PI is being a d1ck, anger is a damn good motivator, one that isn't really used on this site too much.

This is a wake up call, maybe not to the people in this thread who seem to have their sh1t together, but to the hundreds of AFC's who are all talk and no game.

 

[Maxtro]

whether you are nerdy, geeky, creepy, virgin, AFC, loser, ect, whatever you feel you are or what you have been called, you NEED TO ACCEPT IT AS A FACT

That is the aboslute last thing you need to do. The worst thing you can do to your ego is accept that you are a loser and define yourself as a looser. If you accept that you are a looser into your reality you've basically screwed yourself.

BTW there is a huge difference between thinking that you are not a looser and thinking that you are the shit.

Instead of thinking and identifying yourself as a nerdy, geeky, creepy looser, just think, "OK I'm not perfect, I got somethings that I need to work on. It's no big deal. Nobodies saying I can't improve."

I am an ass who thinks he is giving good advice, calling it tough love when nothing at all I say is helpful. Respect me for I am the king. Cower and pay tribute to me!!!!111

Not a single thing in your OP was helpful. All you did was insult people and inflate your ego.

Mavrik and SinJester know what they are talking about in this thread.

PI can post good advice and after a little doctoring it's pretty decent

start listening to and respecting men who ARE successful with women. Then take the advice, apply it, improve, and keep improving through trial and error and experience, so that one day you can look in the mirror and LAUGH at how much of a loser you USED TO BE and how successful you are now"

 

[DonGorgon]

A straight man should never ever accept having no women in his life.

 

[L777]

A straight man should never ever accept having no women in his life.

lol....the bold makes it gospel.

 

[DonGorgon]

lol....the bold makes it gospel.

Not really cause many men accept having no women in their lives but most of then cannot be described as straight... And bolded or not, that is the truth..

 

[positivity_injection]

That is the aboslute last thing you need to do. The worst thing you can do to your ego is accept that you are a loser and define yourself as a looser. If you accept that you are a looser into your reality you've basically screwed yourself.

BTW there is a huge difference between thinking that you are not a looser and thinking that you are the shit.

Instead of thinking and identifying yourself as a nerdy, geeky, creepy looser, just think, "OK I'm not perfect, I got somethings that I need to work on. It's no big deal. Nobodies saying I can't improve."


Not a single thing in your OP was helpful. All you did was insult people and inflate your ego.

Mavrik and SinJester know what they are talking about in this thread.

PI can post good advice and after a little doctoring it's pretty decent

a PRIME PRIME example of what i just preached in my original post:

we have Maxtro here, an admitted 26 year old virgin, and he is talking back to someone who is light years more successful with women than himself........Maxtro, dude, you need to realize that the sooner u start listening to REAL LIFE ADVICE from guys with REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, the sooner you will lose that V-card and end up happier

stop listening to the people who are holding your hand and coddling you and telling you everything is alright, because everything is FAR FAR FAR from being alright, and YOU need to make MAJOR changes, NOW

GO, and dont ****ing come back here till you have your virginity taken care of


Edit: the point of my initial thread is to stop listening to theorists and hand-holders, and listen to men with tons of experience who PUSH u to succeed with women, and like Touchout said, anger is the best motivation, everything else is too passive to work

 

[ready123]

Mavrik, I disagree with you. What people around you say matters ALOT.

The older more experienced I get, the more I understand that. If people say you're creepy, you're creepy. If they look up to you, you are the sh*t.

Dont lie to yourself man, you know how it is.

there's a difference between using social feedback as a roadmap and identifying with it. first one is healthy. the second one will ruin you. that's all he's trying to say

 

[Birdem]

I do not see where addressing yourself as king makes anyone motivated, I think I missed that point. I do agree that most guys here like their hand to be held the entire way. If you accept you are a loser, you will be more motivated to change. If you do not accept you are a loser, you will still be a virgin in denial thinking he is a dj.

 

[Maxtro]

a PRIME PRIME example of what i just preached in my original post:

we have Maxtro here, an admitted 26 year old virgin, and he is talking back to someone who is light years more successful with women than himself........Maxtro, dude, you need to realize that the sooner u start listening to REAL LIFE ADVICE from guys with REAL LIFE EXPERIENCE, the sooner you will lose that V-card and end up happier

stop listening to the people who are holding your hand and coddling you and telling you everything is alright, because everything is FAR FAR FAR from being alright, and YOU need to make MAJOR changes, NOW

GO, and dont ****ing come back here till you have your virginity taken care of


Edit: the point of my initial thread is to stop listening to theorists and hand-holders, and listen to men with tons of experience who PUSH u to succeed with women, and like Touchout said, anger is the best motivation, everything else is too passive to work

*Maxtro looks at positivity_injection to make sure that he isn't banned and sees that he isn't yet and decides to put in the effort to make a rebuttal.*

First off all your whole argument is invalid because I am not a virgin and I have never claimed to be one.

Second no matter how high up the person giving the advice thinks they are, everybody has a right and a duty to question and challenge the advice or whatever they say. Also nothing you have said can really be classified as advice.

Third, nobody is "holding your hand and coddling you and telling you everything is alright." Nobody on this board is that sappy.

Forth, I know that my life is not how I want it to be and I need to make major changes. But that does not mean that I need call myself a looser or a failure. If I accepted those things into my reality I would be committing psychological suicide. I have issues and I am working on them. And I am making progress. By the end of the year I expect to be a very different person from who I am now.

Fifth, anger is not always the answer. I do not get angry about my lack of success with women. I get depressed and depression does not lead to motivation. Anger may work for some, but not all.

 

[ItsOnNow]

I think p_i is an attention *****. I have had problems with calling myself a loser,worthless,unworthy,not good enough,etc. What steps can I do to overcome them?

 

[positivity_injection]

I think p_i is an attention *****. I have had problems with calling myself a loser,worthless,unworthy,not good enough,etc. What steps can I do to overcome them?

work on looking as best u can, and then get out of the house and gain experience.......its as easy as that........and keep up the good work and in a few years you'll love the change that you have made

 

[The Inside Man]

Skip, just give it up man. How are you not banned again? Can't the mods tell its you with your telltale CAPITALIZED ATTENTION WORDS and your continual need for gratification, combined with your inability to deal with criticism?

If you really want to help people, go sign up for the peace corps or volunteer for some organization. You're annoying at best, a psychopathic internet addicted attention wh0re at the worst.

 

[The Inside Man]

whether you are nerdy, geeky, creepy, virgin, AFC, loser, ect, whatever you feel you are or what you have been called, you NEED TO ACCEPT IT AS A FACT

i was the worst everything when i was 17

If you had followed your own advice at 17, you would have accepted the fact that you cannot get any women and what little success you have gotten over the years from spamming myspace accounts would not have happened.

So you just contradicted yourself, again. Your posts are entertaining to read though, you sound like someone who's never been violently assaulted. Your sh1t does in fact stink, and someone will rub your nose in it soon enough unless you learn some
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