"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Meritocracy does not exist

jhonny9546

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Hi friends, Johnny here.

Further down the road, every man will understand some things.
How important was it for you to realize that meritocracy doesn't exist, that is, that putting in the effort doesn't necessarily lead to a certain result, but rather that nepotism exists, and that people with power, money or any other advantage will justify the fact you need to "work hard" on the things you want to achieve?

Meritocracy only exist with oneself.
Think about going out and working out.
After committing, doing the hard work, you will see progress and you'll be paid back by the things you've done.
That is the only meritocracy you'll see.

That said, how have you managed not to be discouraged and maintain "commitment" in your life, even though you know it's limited by the concept that meritocracy doesn't exist?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Bigpapa

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That said, how have you managed not to be discouraged and maintain "commitment" in your life, even though you know it's limited by the concept that meritocracy doesn't exist?
Meritocracy does not exist from the simple fact that people who have now power/money etc, do not want to give it up

and meritocracy will always be a bargaining between being useful and being cheap enough

but there is a free world ( still ) where you are free to do whatever you want and with whom you want and hopefully a bit of luck will come your way
 

quodlibet

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It doesn't exist only because "merit" is subjective.

At a business, you can be seen as a great employee or a **** employee. Just a different point of view.

Same with dating and women. No two women will see you as the same person.
 

Bigpapa

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It doesn't exist only because "merit" is subjective.

At a business, you can be seen as a great employee or a **** employee. Just a different point of view.

Same with dating and women. No two women will see you as the same person.
in business they know very well who are the good and the bad employees

the question is if being a good employee gives you a higher chance to being promoted, and usually is no

because the higher you go, the more controllable your managers want you

if you are a good employee but are labeled as difficult ( because you do not execute stupid things just because your manager wants you ) , you will not be given a managerial position unless they really need someone to fix the big problem and they have no other choice

Otherwise they will prefer the bad employee whom is manageable and does what he is told to do, and just say that having “ leadership “ skills is more important than being good at what you do

same thing with women, they know very well whom are the good guys for LTR, but for example if she has a high ego she would prefer a lesser guy that does what she wants him to do, rather than a better guy who will challenge her
 

quodlibet

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same thing with women, they know very well whom are the good guys for LTR, but for example if she has a high ego she would prefer a lesser guy that does what she wants him to do, rather than a better guy who will challenge her
Ask two women what makes a guy good for LTR and you'll get five answers.

The world is full of subjectivity. You just have to accept it.

My current girlfriend thinks I'm "very attractive" physically. I have no clue what she's talking about and certainly most women won't agree with her.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Bigpapa

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Ask two women what makes a guy good for LTR and you'll get five answers.

The world is full of subjectivity. You just have to accept it.

My current girlfriend thinks I'm "very attractive" physically. I have no clue what she's talking about and certainly most women won't agree with her.
what do you want her to tell you, that you are not good looking? Haha

quite sure you told plenty of girls that you were meh about that they are sexy or beautiful or just said yes when they asked you if you find them beautiful

I do not want to sound like a d1ck, but most likely it was not your looks that secured the LTR. It rarely is looks or just looks alone
 
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taiyuu_otoko

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Meritocracy absolutely exists.

It only doesn't exist inside some kind of fantasy world where things are fair.

The people who can game the system in their favor, for whatever reason, do so.

Those who don't complain that it's too difficult and it's not fair.

Live has always been a vicious Pareto distribution death match among primates, all who want to get into upper echelons of society.

Those who define the rules win the game.

That's meritocracy in it's rawest, apex-predatory form.

And guess what?

Ladies and money are attracted to those who claw their ways to the top of the food chain.

Nobody cares too much about those down at the bottom who are always complaining that it isn't fair.
 

quodlibet

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what do you want her to tell you, that you are not good looking? Haha

quite sure you told plenty of girls that you were meh about that they are sexy or beautiful or just said yes when they asked you if you find them beautiful
Bro, you seriously missed the point. The point was, everybody's dating value is highly subjective. So there's no such thing as "merit" because everyone will judge you differently.
 

Bigpapa

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Bro, you seriously missed the point. The point was, everybody's dating value is highly subjective. So there's no such thing as "merit" because everyone will judge you differently.
I do understand your point, but what I am saying that even in dating you will always have the winners and the losers

the guys in between will say that everything is subjective, and till a point they are right

But usually as guys tend to agree from a 7/10 onwards that a girl is sexy and from 3/10 downwards that a girl is ugly, same goes with women

what is in the middle is up to debate between a 4 and a 6
 

BaronOfHair

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@jhonny9546 "That said, how have you managed not to be discouraged and maintain "commitment" in your life, even though you know it's limited by the concept that meritocracy doesn't exist?"

I realized that "merit" encompasses far more than how much effort one puts into an activity, and stopped expecting anyone to pat me on the head, in exchange for how hard I worked
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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jhonny9546

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No two women will see you as the same person.
If they weren't from the same social circle.
If they were, then they'd think the same thing.

You won't be given a managerial position unless they really need someone to fix the big problem and they have no other choice.

Otherwise, they will prefer the bad employee who is manageable and does what he's told to do.
Listen, that's exactly the point.

I'd rather be looked down upon, be a lower rank, but I know that without me your company is out of business, than be a brownie who does things like a good guy.

That's why these men have high positions in companies, but also wives who don't respect them.
It's all about their feminine behavior that's rewarded in the workplace (seduction, games, tricks, taking advantage, backstabbing), while masculine behavior is rewarded in your inner peace and only with a few people who really know you.

they know very well whom are the good guys for LTR, but for example if she has a high ego she would prefer a lesser guy that does what she wants him to do, rather than a better guy who will challenge her
Well done, that's what I meant.
More than challenging her, I'd say he's respected.
That people who don't respect him are out of his life.
 
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