Men should be providers

[jhonny9546]

Hey friends... it seems like the most stable families, the best ones for growing as people, with a high level of happiness, even a lot of work and sacrifice, are those in which men have played the role of provider. In fact, looking at today, there are some new, solid couples in their 30s and 40s who repeat the same pattern...
But is being a provider really what makes us happy as men?

I mean, there are many expert seducers and womanizers who eventually tire of that too... and yet, in the current era we live in, what is the real reason for us men to take on that provider role?
I imagine everyone would like to build a family, a dynasty, have children, but we know the difficulties... so what are the motives that have driven men to abandon, and build insecurity, rather than take on this role in modern times?

(Careful, you might tell me that women are rich these days, have financial freedom, and are responsible, but how many of you believe these fairy tales?
Yes, it's true... many women are like that, but really, but how many of you believe that women can live without the figure of a male provider?
There are many rich women who are still paired with a man who can demonstrate the ability to be an excellent provider. It doesn't matter if he does less than her. He has to have those qualities, you know what I mean?)

I'd love to hear your thoughts on what being in this role and maintaining your masculinity can bring to your life. Because even though I see so many successful men and families out there, both financially and socially, I can't understand why they've accepted so much disrespect and hardship, instead of walking

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Almost every one of your posts (I've really been trying to catch a theme here) reminds me of one of these....

Google Image Result for https://target.scene7.com/is/image/Target/GUEST_b58749cf-9127-4b08-a8d9-76d977272fc8

At any rate, what are you suggesting masculinity is?

Are you suggesting a "REAL" man doesn't seek to understand female behavior by exercising how well you can trigger certain reactions and find out which ones you can naturally do? That "REAL" men suppress their desires and don't have s3x?

Are you suggesting that men become 'good boys' who go fetch, jump through hoops, get the ball, pee sitting down, and ask before you spend a penny of your OWN DAMNED MONEY?

I'm really trying to understand here. Honestly. Are you wanting to learn something? Or are you just trying to needle this forum and get someone to be angry so you can copypasta reactions from members and say "SEE? SEE? T0xic, t0xic, angry angry badbadbadbadbaaaaaad?!"

 

[bmp2cpm]

To be a resourceful provider a man must have motivation and drive. You either have it our you don’t. Hitting rock bottom in life is a powerful motivator for drive.

For those with drive, life is about discovering the gifts you were given and and understanding your strengths and weaknesses and employing them successfully in a career that is fun.

If a quality woman wants to be part of all of this then why not?

 

[Travel memoir21]

I agree to be a good provider, you must like what you do and enjoy your lifestyle in the first place...in other words, get your sh1t together first before getting into a relationship. You've got to have a good sense of connection and bond with your woman or it will be a drag. Learn to love and look out for yourself first before looking out for someone else, that is a prerequisite.

 

[Barrister]

Traditionally, men were providers to their wives and in return received access to sex on tap from said wife, a wife who took care of the home and made it presentable to him and to guests, a wife who bore him children and took care of the children at home until they went to school. Wives also typically did 90%+ of the domestic "chores" of the home including cooking and cleaning.

So sure - men can be "providers" in a setting where there is an overall equal "arrangement" like this. The problem is our society negatively will label women as "1950s housewives" who do this and look down on them. Also, most women still want men to be providers while providing literally NOTHING in return except sex (while she is still happy and eventually that can disappear because the man "isn't meeting her emotional needs" despite giving her everything). Frankly, just getting sex isn't good enough.

 

[BaronOfHair]

@jhonny9546 "But is being a provider really what makes us happy as men?"

Absolutely, ESPECIALLY when we're providing for ourselves first and foremost, while bringing a "crew" of our chosing along for the ride. It's not a coincidence that unemployed men atrophy, if they don’t find a mission greater than themselves to commit to, while their careers are in limbo

In any event, this isn't a matter of "shoulds", OP... It's a matter of making intelligent decisions. Building oneself to such a point that he's capable of being provider, if he so desires, is infinitely more astute than choosing to live in squalor

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your posts are becoming exhausting to read honestly...go outside and touch some grass every once in a while man.

 

[jhonny9546]

the man "isn't meeting her emotional needs" despite giving her everything

Yes, this is when every need is satysfied, but she's actually wanting more.

Absolutely, ESPECIALLY when we're providing for ourselves first and foremost, while bringing a "crew" of our chosing along for the ride. It's not a coincidence that unemployed men atrophy, if they don’t find a mission greater than themselves to commit to, while their careers are in limbo

It's not the employment, it's the context, if you think about it.
Btw, those are great words.
Once you find that daily drive and commitment, you've set your life, that is why many men in pension will go back to their jobs, working part time.
As a man, what is really the key thing in being a provider, should be find what you call "employment" , but I say a commitment, that actually will make them alive.