"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Men listening skills
- Thread starter carrot
- Start date
"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
The Gambler
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2012
- Messages
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Huh? What did you say?carrot said:
Sorry... that was the obvious hack gag.
When someone is doing lots of talking, it is hard to listen to every word. I try to catch the big points of what they are saying, and will use these points some time in the future to let them know I heard what they were saying.... Sometimes days or weeks later... Women LOVE that.
Also remember that when most women talk, they want you to listen but not to try and solve all their problems... So really, you just need to let them know you're listening by repeating a few key points... And you really don't have to do much more than that to be a successful communicator in her eyes.
Women have different personality types and needs, but this is the basic info to start with. Figure out who she is and what she is looking for when it comes to communication.... then run with it.
The Gambler
Inquisitus
Don Juan
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- Jun 4, 2008
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Men and women communicate in different ways. What women really mean is that men have poor women style listening skills.carrot said:
The secret is nod and act interested for most of the bull**** and only worry about the important bits.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
Yes, it's biological.carrot said:
Source: The Red Queen, and Why Men Don't Listen, and Women Can't Read Maps.
Long story short: Men are hunters, requires little communication. Women are gatherers, and chit chatted all day about all kinds of shyte while listening for evidence of their younguns in trouble.
Improve your skills?
Easy: Dale Carnegie: How To Win Friends and Influence People
Long story short: Focus on what the other person is saying, ask leading questions to get them to offer more information. Forget about wowing them with your own story. Nobody really cares.