Men in their early 30s and dating/relationships

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
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28
#1
I'm going to be starting a physical therapy program next year in August and by the time I graduate and have my job lined up with that I'll be about 32. Obviously that will be the focus in my life those years but I wanted to know if things will really change all that much for me when I'm at that age. I'm an attractive guy, exercise a lot and take really good care of myself so it's not like I'm going to be sporting a beer gut at that age. Will I find things much different at that age compared to now, 28, or should I expect it to be pretty much the same if not possibly even better?
 
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Von

Master Don Juan
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#2
I'm going to be starting a physical therapy program next year in August and I won't be done with that until I'm about 32. Obviously that will be the focus in my life those years but I wanted to know if things will really change all that much for me when I'm at that age. I'm an attractive guy, exercise a lot and take really good care of myself so it's not like I'm going to be sporting a beer gut at that age. Will I find things much different at that age compared to now, 28, or should I expect it to be pretty much the same if not possibly even better?
All depends on what you do during the time.

Action! Be productive.

I know people who were 8months in the hospital after near death expérience, 8 months on a bed. After they did 1 year of physical rehab (they had forgotten how to walk). It happened when they were teens (17) - i know 3 guy, 3 at 17 lol.

After the épisode, they became real DJ. They used the time to work on their social skills, learn, pick up habits but most importantes.. Their head was fixated on "catching up the time missed".. They développed a sense of humour that melted the ladies... They were " average looking guys" with "scare that showed" yet they picked up 10hb.

While you in therapy, take that time to READ! (Cultural, self-help books, philosophy, science, stuff you like)... Learn Humour from some shows on TV or internet. Learn to improve your voice tone. Write ideas, business, your story

Do everything that can improve yourself mentally, do your physical therapy..

Make the best of your situation, cause you'll want to catchup these years
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Sep 25, 2018
Messages
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Age
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#3
All depends on what you do during the time.

Action! Be productive.

I know people who were 8months in the hospital after near death expérience, 8 months on a bed. After they did 1 year of physical rehab (they had forgotten how to walk). It happened when they were teens (17) - i know 3 guy, 3 at 17 lol.

After the épisode, they became real DJ. They used the time to work on their social skills, learn, pick up habits but most importantes.. Their head was fixated on "catching up the time missed".. They développed a sense of humour that melted the ladies... They were " average looking guys" with "scare that showed" yet they picked up 10hb.

While you in therapy, take that time to READ! (Cultural, self-help books, philosophy, science, stuff you like)... Learn Humour from some shows on TV or internet. Learn to improve your voice tone. Write ideas, business, your story

Do everything that can improve yourself mentally, do your physical therapy..

Make the best of your situation, cause you'll want to catchup these years
When I said Physical therapy program I meant as in going to school for that.
 

Von

Master Don Juan
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#4
When I said Physical therapy program I meant as in going to school for that.
WTF!

Than why you would waste 5 years of not asking girls out and socializing and parties!

I tell you cause i am in the boat right now.

You'll either want to bang everything at moves at school and find them "too young" or "immature" .

You'll be quite popular but considered "old-wise".

You'll feel " different than the crowd" cause your are more mature and more stable mentaly also with more "LTR guts feeling in you" .

Since you 28 and going to school: you'll be alot more serious and efficient than the other students cause you know the importance of Time! (You dont have 10 years, you have 3)

Keep doing what you love at school, involve yourself in the related clubs (sport team, bar, fitness, social activity clubs).

Hang out at the student bar once in a while.

You'll find time management easier and to jungle "work, girls, studies" much more efficiently
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Messages
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Age
28
#5
WTF!

Than why you would waste 5 years of not asking girls out and socializing and parties!

I tell you cause i am in the boat right now.

You'll either want to bang everything at moves at school and find them "too young" or "immature" .

You'll be quite popular but considered "old-wise".

You'll feel " different than the crowd" cause your are more mature and more stable mentaly also with more "LTR guts feeling in you" .

Since you 28 and going to school: you'll be alot more serious and efficient than the other students cause you know the importance of Time! (You dont have 10 years, you have 3)

Keep doing what you love at school, involve yourself in the related clubs (sport team, bar, fitness, social activity clubs).

Hang out at the student bar once in a while.

You'll find time management easier and to jungle "work, girls, studies" much more efficiently
It's a smaller school in a small city, around 50k, and most of my time will be dedicated towards my studies and classes. The program I'll be in has about 20 students for the class, so pretty small.,
 

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rando5495

Senior Don Juan
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Age
32
#6
I actually started focusing quite heavily on this aspect of my life at 28, and i'm now 32 funnily enough.

Main change is probably that i know much better what i like and want. I think it takes time to do that (least it did for me). But I wouldn't want to be spending my mid 30's going on to 40's doing that.

I'm thinking that maybe it'd be better to have sorted this in my teens/early 20's, but i was just fvcking confused tbh. And i didn't even think that resources like this existed.

We're all completely different people though, mate. With different backgrounds and stuff.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
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#7
The con is less younger women are interested due to the age gap and you won't be around as many single women in adulthood. The pro is you confidence and overall SMV should be much higher. For example I was around more 22yo in college but couldn't date them bc low smv. Now I can date them so it's a net positive.
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
Joined
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Age
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#8
The con is less younger women are interested due to the age gap and you won't be around as many single women in adulthood. The pro is you confidence and overall SMV should be much higher. For example I was around more 22yo in college but couldn't date them bc low smv. Now I can date them so it's a net positive.
Right now my sweet spot seems to be around 21-25 with the women I've met, so I'm thinking by then it'd be something like 25-28 or so.
 

oldmanofthesea

Senior Don Juan
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#9
Not really sure what you're asking in terms of what will change, but nothing will change if you don't start working in your DJ skills. Don't put it off. Think of all the jobless dirtbags who get gobs of women.

Having a job and money won't help you get women. Trust me. It's all about your game, and your appearance. Don't wait.
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
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#10
Not really sure what you're asking in terms of what will change, but nothing will change if you don't start working in your DJ skills. Don't put it off. Think of all the jobless dirtbags who get gobs of women.

Having a job and money won't help you get women. Trust me. It's all about your game, and your appearance. Don't wait.
What I meant was if I'd find a harder time dating as I get older or not? Granted, I have a good life now but that will put me on a really solid track down the road.
 
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zekko

Master Don Juan
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#11
It's a smaller school in a small city, around 50k, and most of my time will be dedicated towards my studies and classes. The program I'll be in has about 20 students for the class, so pretty small.,
I worked full time and went to school, I had very little time for socializing.
So I just dated around over the summer for a few years.
Best sacrifice I ever made.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
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#12
What I meant was if I'd find a harder time dating as I get older or not? Granted, I have a good life now but that will put me on a really solid track down the road.
All things being equal it's harder, but if you have a lot of room for improvement and you improve then it will be be easier.

For example, a college football player is basically the absolute maximum in dating, so unless he makes it to the NFL he is going to see a drop off most likely as he ages. If you have trouble worth women in your youth then it should get a lot easier as you age.
 

oldmanofthesea

Senior Don Juan
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#13
What I meant was if I'd find a harder time dating as I get older or not? Granted, I have a good life now but that will put me on a really solid track down the road.
No it gets easier due to more practice and confidence. However, if you use OLD exclusively and like younger women, then that will be harder. Age is tough in OLD, I have found. I can close a 23 yo in real life easy, but in OLD, I'm simply filtered out due to my age.
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
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#14
No it gets easier due to more practice and confidence. However, if you use OLD exclusively and like younger women, then that will be harder. Age is tough in OLD, I have found. I can close a 23 yo in real life easy, but in OLD, I'm simply filtered out due to my age.
I don't use online dating at all, every woman I meet is through (pseudo)cold approach.

On a side note, it definitely does get easier as I've gotten older and built more confidence. I was an extreme late bloomer, high school was a disaster for me and I was socially stunted for several years afterwards. I missed a ton of opportunities in my late teens and early 20s due to a lack of confidence, being totally clueless and just awkward. There were some personal issues I was dealing with through my mid 20s, 23-26, and during this time I was in no place for dating or women. Didn't even go on my first date until almost 2 years ago.

Anyway, now I'm cold approaching women and having some success but it's still a massive learning experience for me, as this is still uncharted territory. I actually was at the verizon store earlier this afternoon and the sales person was a pretty cute and young latina. I could tell she was vibing me for a bit so before I left I asked her if had a bf, she had a huge smile on her face and say "unfortunately I do". I never would have done something like that 2 years ago.
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
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#15
All things being equal it's harder, but if you have a lot of room for improvement and you improve then it will be be easier.

For example, a college football player is basically the absolute maximum in dating, so unless he makes it to the NFL he is going to see a drop off most likely as he ages. If you have trouble worth women in your youth then it should get a lot easier as you age.
I have a lot of room for improvement with my game and approaching skills/confidence, see post above.
 
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oldmanofthesea

Senior Don Juan
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#16
I could tell she was vibing me for a bit so before I left I asked her if had a bf, she had a huge smile on her face and say "unfortunately I do". I never would have done something like that 2 years ago.
Good for you! For future note though, never ask if she has a BF. Just go for what you want instead... As her for her phone number. If she has a BF, she will tell you then.
 

LARaiders85

Master Don Juan
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#18
I don't use online dating at all, every woman I meet is through (pseudo)cold approach.

On a side note, it definitely does get easier as I've gotten older and built more confidence. I was an extreme late bloomer, high school was a disaster for me and I was socially stunted for several years afterwards. I missed a ton of opportunities in my late teens and early 20s due to a lack of confidence, being totally clueless and just awkward. There were some personal issues I was dealing with through my mid 20s, 23-26, and during this time I was in no place for dating or women. Didn't even go on my first date until almost 2 years ago.

Anyway, now I'm cold approaching women and having some success but it's still a massive learning experience for me, as this is still uncharted territory. I actually was at the verizon store earlier this afternoon and the sales person was a pretty cute and young latina. I could tell she was vibing me for a bit so before I left I asked her if had a bf, she had a huge smile on her face and say "unfortunately I do". I never would have done something like that 2 years ago.
You're putting yourself in the top teir of men simply by being able to approach. Most men flat out can't do it unless it's a sure thing. Be prepared for some flaking and ignoring once you do get the # though, it still won't be easy.
 

sangheilios

Senior Don Juan
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Age
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#19
You're putting yourself in the top teir of men simply by being able to approach. Most men flat out can't do it unless it's a sure thing. Be prepared for some flaking and ignoring once you do get the # though, it still won't be easy.
Yeah, I've had that happen a few times already, some of those I posted about on here.
 

flowtheory

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#20
Side question for the older men here: when do (generally) most guys stop caring about improving themselves - physically, mentally, etc?
my guess would be somewhere around 35..?
 
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