Men In Relationships

[highSpeed]

How do you like it?
What would you change?
What are some of the barometers that you use to measure the quality of your relationship?
Would you consider getting some on the side if you were married?

 

[FwoGiZ]

Your own happiness is the best indicator. Ask yourself, am I happy? Does she make you a better person?
Drama is the other big one but it all depends on the person, I personally can't tolerate any at all so I need an easy going more submissive feminine chick which I have.
She definitely makes my life very interesting but it's just like anything right, sometimes I wish I was single but in the end, I know I better keep her.
I am already getting some on the side as we're open. I will NEVER get married or have kids.

 

[highSpeed]

Your own happiness is the best indicator. Ask yourself, am I happy? Does she make you a better person?
Drama is the other big one but it all depends on the person, I personally can't tolerate any at all so I need an easy going more submissive feminine chick which I have.
She definitely makes my life very interesting but it's just like anything right, sometimes I wish I was single but in the end, I know I better keep her.
I am already getting some on the side as we're open. I will NEVER get married or have kids.

so by submissive, you mean she lets you lead by default? What are your thoughts on the alpha female?

 

[FwoGiZ]

Yes, she'd rather me lead. Most girls are---- should be like this but with feminism they're being more and more delusional to how they'd really be happy. It's a shame that "submissive women" now has somewhat of a negative connotation to it cause it really shouldn't. They're the only sweet loving gfs out there trust me.
Alpha female doesn't exist... it's once again made up by the feminists... I call them Dominant and they NEED and can only have a semi-healthy relationship with a beta. Some dudes are meant to be beta, and once again there is nothing wrong with it. The problem is when a lot of guys that maybe shouldn't, become betas against their will.

We could argue that back in the day, there was way more Alphas than today which meant a more healthy society masculinity wise. Now it's turning around, with dudes that think it's a good thing and that it aroused women to be a "stay-at-home dad" sigh... Because of this complete lack of masculinity and lower testosterone levels in man, the natural balance is for women to Man-Up since men are Feming-Up (or more like Maning-Down). Which bring us women with more testosterone, more masculine women... but don't be fooled, it doesn't mean Alpha Female, let's just call them what they are, dominant if we want to stay in a scientific context. They still largely rely on men.

 

[highSpeed]

Agreed, I would tend to agree with the Alpha female myth. I think beta males don't really exist though. There are not many guys, if any, that would say "sure, sign me up. Sign me up for no sex, no say and no power in my relationship." There is a good bit of guile that women use to fool otherwise quality, alpha minded men, into terrible relationships. You could argue they have beta tendencies and were not discerning enough but I would say there is an extremely small percentage of beta males. Many men have been fooled and brainwashed. By the time they wake up, they are stuck in a powerless relationship. It's easy enough to say, hey leave. It's not that simple when you have children. You want to leave your kids with someone primarily who will do everything they can to turn them against you? You want to leave them to have someone else call some other guy daddy? You want to pay out half of your **** to get away from someone who shouldn't get **** to begin with? These are tough times and when the long arm of the state is used to strong arm men who got caught in a terrible relationship, men are much better off to stay away.

 

[PatientOne]

I would never get any in the side of married. Call me old-fashioned, but I find adultery to be dishonorable, and it sucked when I was cheated on. Since I won't cheat, and my wife became asexual, I simply left her.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

I would never get any in the side of married. Call me old-fashioned, but I find adultery to be dishonorable, and it sucked when I was cheated on. Since I won't cheat, and my wife became asexual, I simply left her.

She could've loved you and insisted you take on a lover. That would be the non-selfish thing to do. Very non-selfish would be she finds you someone suitable herself.

 

[PatientOne]

She could've loved you and insisted you take on a lover. That would be the non-selfish thing to do. Very non-selfish would be she finds you someone suitable herself.

True. She is selfish, however. What is going to annoy me, even though it shouldn't, but human nature and all that, is that she will meet a man and all of the sudden, not be asexual for a while. When she acts upset that I left, I get annoyed because of that fact. All well, time to meet chicks and spin plates.

 

[highSpeed]

I would never get any in the side of married. Call me old-fashioned, but I find adultery to be dishonorable, and it sucked when I was cheated on. Since I won't cheat, and my wife became asexual, I simply left her.

Now wait a minute, dishonorable? What about her vows to you? You can't be in a monogamous relationship if you're not having sex. You don't get up one morning and say, "Hey, I'm asexual and I don't feel like having sex anymore. I know I made vows to you but tough sh**." That's bait and switch at a minimum, which is dishonorable. Why would you be honorable with someone who is not being honorable with you?

 

[PatientOne]

Now wait a minute, dishonorable? What about her vows to you? You can't be in a monogamous relationship if you're not having sex. You don't get up one morning and say, "Hey, I'm asexual and I don't feel like having sex anymore. I know I made vows to you but tough sh**." That's bait and switch at a minimum, which is dishonorable. Why would you be honorable with someone who is not being honorable with you?

I'm saying that if I have committed to a LTR, I wouldn't stray. And because my marriage became platonic, despite my warnings to her, I found it better to tell her that I was done. She needed to hear it. She removed her rings, and now I am free to do as I wish.

 

[FwoGiZ]

70% of men are beta... they do exist
the biggest difference between an alpha and a beta is what you let women do of you.
An alpha will stand and remain whole, the same guy.
A beta will fail all of her ****tests (which she's subconsciously doing to see if she's got a MAN or a PVSSY aka beta) and will become a beta...
If you are an alpha (or so you think) but become a beta the second you get with a women, I hate to say but you are indeed not an alpha but a beta.

Having kids and getting married nowadays simply isn't realistic because of all the things you mentionned, yet some men still think they can pull it off... I guess I played too much poker to bet my odds on 20% success rate....

So yeah, a lot of the manosphere agree that eventually what will happen if the feminine imperative keeps growing, is there will be more and more dudes like me. The VERY unfortunate thing, is that although men will not DIRECTLY support women anymore, the system will and guess who's 100% fueling the system... MEN.

I'd rather have it this way tho and collectively support women but then we get another problem; women raising kids without men around. This is a big problem but I am getting sidetracked here...

But you get where I am coming from I hope in how I deal and see my relationship. There is a way to be happy. I assure you both me and my gf are very happy, weither we're together or not. She understands that. She's half dependent and half independent ? She understands that she would never have the quality of life she has right now (big house, parties, pool, jetski, camping, etc etc) if not of me, but she's not a leech either. She pulls her own weight as I like to think she pulls most of her weight, I don't think she cost me anything. She's just taking advantage of my lifestyle too which is ok
All about finding the sweet spot.

 

[zekko]

If you are an alpha (or so you think) but become a beta the second you get with a women, I hate to say but you are indeed not an alpha but a beta.

It's probably a waste of time to tilt at this particular windmill, but:

An alpha is a dominant male. That means that he is dominant of other males, like they look up to him as a leader, or he can defeat them on the field of battle (whatever that may be).

Even a beta, who follows other men, should be able to be dominant of a woman. Historically, a beta male should be masculine enough to dominate/lead his woman, and be the man in the relationship. It's only in recent decades that men have become so emasculated and feminized that they have forgotten (or never learned) how to be men. Being a masculine male does not require you to be an "alpha", which is the top male. Women like an alpha male because he is the top man available. But you don't have to be an alpha to be a man.

 

[FwoGiZ]

We're not wolves tho... ;p No tribes anymore... Those are simply borrowed nouns in references to animals...
things have evolved
but you are right on the emasculation

 

[Desdinova]

How do you like it?

I've always enjoyed being in a relationship. Having a fun female companion around is great.

What would you change?

Not sure what you mean by this. I can't change the way she acts or the way she looks.

What are some of the barometers that you use to measure the quality of your relationship?

Mostly the way she treats me. I swear this chick is completely obsessed. It just proves to me that I'm at the top of her High Score List.

Would you consider getting some on the side if you were married?

This is an interesting subject because I've been there and done it. If my wife is being neglectful in the attention she gives me in any way, shape, or form, I'll have no problem getting some on the side.

 

[Prime_Beef]

Hmm, rarely here but I'll bite.
I love being in relationship with my wife. Been 11 yrs.

Change,..ealier on caught myself being weAK in a couple issues, complicated stepchild issues (my child) court constraints. Not much would change except take more care of my health fitness. Very important, didn't realize in my youth.

Something on the side..before we got married I let her know if at any point I'm going without 2 weeks for any BS reason I'm stepping out except being medical. Never a problem or need. Occasional scamps try to get some Prime _Beef but I use that as fuel for exciting wife. No need. If you feel the need, you did something wrong, or in wrong place.

Regarding alpha designation. .basically works out to this:

-entertainer, comedian, singer
-powerful, older men who have influence on others and seeming responsibility
-jock athlete warrior types

The more of the above you incorporate the more successful you are with women. Caveman stuff.

 

[highSpeed]

It's probably a waste of time to tilt at this particular windmill, but:

An alpha is a dominant male. That means that he is dominant of other males, like they look up to him as a leader, or he can defeat them on the field of battle (whatever that may be).

Even a beta, who follows other men, should be able to be dominant of a woman. Historically, a beta male should be masculine enough to dominate/lead his woman, and be the man in the relationship. It's only in recent decades that men have become so emasculated and feminized that they have forgotten (or never learned) how to be men. Being a masculine male does not require you to be an "alpha", which is the top male. Women like an alpha male because he is the top man available. But you don't have to be an alpha to be a man.

I don't think it is that simple. It is right that it's tough to bet on the 20% and I don't want to spend my entire life having to game someone to get them to behave properly. If you don't inherently know how to behave, I don't want you. The world has changed really quickly in my opinion. I'm 42 and let me tell you, men a generation ago largely didn't put up with this crap. Men were in charge, that's it, no debate. The state wasn't quite there in enforcing slavery for men in a relationship. I grew up on that notion and logic tells you it should be that way. So now that things have literally changed overnight, you have to change your entire way of thinking. However, once you get into a marriage without that knowledge, it's game over these days. Most women know you're not in charge and can use the state anytime they like to enforce your compliance. I wanted a family, the type of family structure my dad had. I got into a marriage that is not in my favor. Again, it's easy to say, leave, but it's just not that simple. I make a very nice amount of money ever year but not enough to run two households of the type I have now. I'm not inclined to give alimony and child support so my wife can play house with some other guy, while I live in the fixer upper. Maybe the money isn't worth it but if I give that up, what was the point of trying to be successful? Even if I wanted to give it up, the long arm of the law can easily and quickly say no. And therein lies the trap of the modern woman. Oh yea, I'll give it up all the time. I'll comply with you. Once you get married? Oh, I didn't mean that and by the way, now we have kids, I'm entitled to have or more, at least for the near future.

 

[zekko]

I'm 42 and let me tell you, men a generation ago largely didn't put up with this crap. Men were in charge, that's it, no debate. The state wasn't quite there in enforcing slavery for men in a relationship. I grew up on that notion and logic tells you it should be that way. So now that things have literally changed overnight, you have to change your entire way of thinking. However, once you get into a marriage without that knowledge, it's game over these days.

Your first sentence I quoted above sums up a lot of what I was trying to say. When I was growing up, men were the leaders. Feminism had gained a toehold, but men were still men, and men were still masculine, and expected to be. Now you are still going to have the majority of men in any population be "beta" (by definition), but the point is back then those betas knew they were still supposed to be men. The culture hadn't yet dressed them in pink little panties and told them they had to like it.

As for marriage, if you know my posting history, I don't recommend it. I don't care "alpha" or IDGAF you are, or how big your muscles are, or what your bodyfat % is. The deck is stacked against men in society today, and there is NO guarantee that your wife will not divorce you or take a significant portion of your resources - resources that you invested into your future as a couple. That's not to say that all marriages fail, but I don't believe there is any formula you can follow that will guarantee success. Thus, it's best to avoid it. IMO.

 

[speed dawg]

How do you like it?

I like it. I never thought I'd say this, but if you can through the initial 'holy crap I only have one p*ssy to f*ck stage', the sex gets better over time.

What would you change?

No question, the way progressive society views men and women. Already been hashed out in this thread.

What are some of the barometers that you use to measure the quality of your relationship?

My attraction to her, her IL in me (very easy to gauge if you know what you're looking for)

Would you consider getting some on the side if you were married?

You're always going to want more than one woman. You have to make that moral choice.

 

[zekko]

How do you like it?

I like it well enough. Can't really think of any downsides, other than the obvious can't go fvck five new girls a week, but that's not really that important to me.

What would you change?

I wouldn't change anything, I've been fortunate in that my life goes pretty smooth.

What are some of the barometers that you use to measure the quality of your relationship?

As long as I am enjoying it and her interest level is high, I'd say things were going well.

Would you consider getting some on the side if you were married?

Nah, I expect loyalty, and IMO you can't expect loyalty if you aren't willing to give it yourself. I know some guys here think it's okay for the guy to cheat and not the woman, but I think that's total hypocrisy. I guess if she wasn't performing her duties, that's a different subject, but I'm not getting married anyway.

 

[FwoGiZ]

You're always going to want more than one woman. You have to make that moral choice.

We could argue a long time about what's moral and what's not... Rollo talked about it at some point and I wish I remembered his words cause he has this way or wording things but basically, most of what we consider moral is just plain common sense that most human beings agree to, such as do not murder. As a human being, we are social animals so it make sense. It goes along our nature, based on the environment we live in.

Now.... saying "it's moral to fck only one women" goes against our human nature, against our environment... against our evolution... the proof is that there are literally almost no human beings that can achieve it. So tell me more about how moral it is?
Fighting against you're masculine nature could be immoral if you ask me. It's not an emotion of a feeling here that we're talking about. It's a basic reproduction need and instinct. It's powerful willpower.

If you think being monogamous with a women for couples years then moving on to another one is what you'd consider successful monogamy, you need to rethink and see the bigger picture.

We are not swans or penguins... we're homo sapiens. Feminine imperative wants you to believe it's immoral, that's blue pill.

But hey, to each their own... ultimately I don't judge those people, but I keep getting judged? ironic